Never take powerball tips from powerball winners.
(my bold)
According to the Guinness World Records website, Branyas believed her longevity stemmed from “order, tranquility, good connection with family and friends, contact with nature, emotional stability, no worries, no regrets, lots of positivity and staying away from toxic people”.
The real secret to longevity is to have spotty health records and a difficult to verify birth certificate. Bonus points if you’re in a country that has undergone multiple radical regime changes.
I plan to outlive all of my enemies out of pure spite and toxicity so that one day I can piss on their graves/ashes.
To be fair, I think many of us would be far too tempted to mess with people if we lived that long. How many people here would say something absolutely ridiculous like, “I drink my own piss at least once a week!” Or, “I catch and eat all the squirrels that get near by bird feeders!”
The centurian in my family smoked, drank heavily at times, dipped, ate fat, drank raw milk, worked out in the sun all day.
All the people close to her also did those things and died in their 60’s
She made it to 104 and was pretty miserable about everything by the end.
I’m just imagining some frail centenarian beginning to address a small crowd, and from random pockets of empty space, scientists in lab coats spring, vaulting towards the aged person, quiet-shouting “hey-HEY-NO, DON’T. Don’t listen to them! hey. HEY. NO. DON’T DO IT.-shut up old man-IGNORE HIM.”
