For example, I once saw a man throw his hat down in anger. He didn’t stomp on it which was kind of a let down.

25 points

I had sex once.

permalink
report
reply
2 points

I’ve seen that movie!

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Once

permalink
report
parent
reply
22 points

Nice.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Niiiiiiccee

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

Nice.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

I had sex once.

Doesn’t count here, because the sex in the movies isn’t real.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

That’s cool, she wasn’t real either.

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points

With someone else?

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points

Oh shit, is that a requirement?

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

I wouldn’t know where to start, a lot of what I’ve been through seem out of movies. Like the time my friends taught their pet talking bird the Wilhelm scream, or the time I tripped a thief, or being held at someone’s place like it’s Scooby Doo. What counts? Of the things I remember, I guess I’ll take a whim and say the third one. Wasn’t pleasant.

permalink
report
reply
4 points

I somehow got the highest possible score in an English exam without properly studying for it, and I ended up getting voted as the class rep after a single speech.

permalink
report
reply
25 points
*

I was at Goodwill one time and I swear to you I heard a conversation almost exactly like this at the jewelry counter.

employee: hello how’s it going today?

customer: pretty damn terrible

employee: oh, uh… well I hope it starts getting better soon

customer: it never does

permalink
report
reply
22 points

Sounds like somebody had a case of the Mondays.

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

Sounds like a typical interaction in New Jersey.

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

Was that customer perhaps a melancholy robot with a brain the size of a planet?

permalink
report
parent
reply
28 points

On the lunch long time ago, I was complaining to my colleagues about surprisingly expensive pizza: “20 euros for the pizza! In some countries you would get a blowjob for that kind of money!” Few minutes later, another colleague joined us and I immediately told him: “This is 20 euro pizza!”. He answered: “What?? Did you get a blow job with it?” One female colleague noted: “I see you both visit similar kind of … restaurants”.

permalink
report
reply
5 points

That sounds straight out of Seinfeld, I read “Did you get a blowjob with it?” with Kramer’s voice hahahaha

permalink
report
parent
reply

Ask Lemmy

!asklemmy@lemmy.world

Create post

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don’t post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for ‘how do I?’, type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


Community stats

  • 10K

    Monthly active users

  • 4.4K

    Posts

  • 233K

    Comments