“Why don’t you want to come to my wedding?”
“I want to come but I can’t afford a ticket overseas.”
“Whatever, if you want to stay home and miss out on life that’s your decision I guess.”
Apparently me saying no to this wedding was the last straw for them, because they’re always asking me to do things I can’t afford and they don’t seem to understand why I can’t despite me telling them every time that I am poor. So now I’m the bad person because I’m totally being poor and “holding myself back” on purpose.
If they want to burn this bridge they can fuck right off. I’ve had enough of this shit.
This is the classic coping mechanism of wealthier people (and others emulating / sucking up to them).
They have to regard being poor as a choice, or otherwise face that their own wealth is unearned and it’s morally wrong that they have it while others don’t. To them “I can’t afford it” is synonymous with “I don’t want to” because thinking otherwise destroys their world view.
And it’s a trope that nobody really enjoys a destination wedding in the first place
Like there’s multiple avenues that tell you it’s a bad idea
But they just keep doing it
It’s so presumptuous. Unless you’re paying for your guests’ travel and lodging, you should not have a destination wedding. People who decide to have weddings in other countries and don’t pay for guests just reek of “I’m irresponsible with money but I’m also a trustfund baby so I can’t fail. I definitely do not have the money for this thing, yet I’m doing it anyway to make myself look successful.”
Then they do shit like a bachelor’s party at a strip club and a bride wanting her special day before they get divorced in 3 months.
Some friends of mine recently had a nice compromise. A local ceremony that was easier for their friends and family to get to, then an optional trip with them to Hawaii that you needed to RSVP for ahead of time cuz they were arranging group pricing for some stuff. Kind of like tagging along for their honeymoon.
And that makes sense because it’s more like a group roadtrip. I’ve seen shit like people having a destination wedding over a weekend. Like of course no one wants to spend hundreds (or thousands) of dollars to fly 8 hours, stay for a day and watch the ceremony, then fly home.
not actually relevant to the thread complaint about family and destination weddings
I moved away from my home city, and the vast majority of my extended family hasn’t. Lots haven’t even ever left that city, like, ever. So we send out wedding invites, and my mom’s all “everyone thinks you’re very rude for having a destination wedding and nobody’s going to come.” I wasn’t having a destination wedding, I was having a wedding in the city where me and my partner have lived for years.
destination wedding
the destination is Chicago
no one from Rockford IL wants to come
they all think i’m very rude
i’m literally getting married at the courthouse and having a house party
mfw
Anyone who won’t drive a couple hours on a whim should be deported from the Midwest and shipped to the east coast. They’d be much happier. Like, there are literally people who commute Rockford to Chicago and think it’s normal. (It’s not they’re weird, but to each their own)
I thought this was going to be something way cheaper than a destinarion wedding holy shit
Lol fuck destination weddings. One of my best friends had theirs at a vineyard in a swanky part of a neighboring city and i didn’t have to pay a dime.
I’m sorry you had that experience though. That’s really shitty.
I cut off a friend who kept pressuring me to visit him in another city, seeming to ignore my issues with my car and the hassle of parking/ driving. The last straw was sending a venmo request for an outing he begged me to stay for after already twisting my arm with the visit itself.
If that person can’t acknowledge your material conditions, they’re not your friend.
And you know they’d give you shit if you didn’t bring an adequately expensive gift.
At my first internship my car’s timing chain snapped on the bw parkway. Harrowing is… An accurate description of the wait for a tow.
It took weeks to get a new engine, luckily my dad was willing and able to pay for a used engine to be installed and I could use public transit to get to work from my newly acquired sublet.
I was doing the “subway to bus to half mile walk” thing for two months or so (almost the whole internship).
I mentioned that I needed to leave at 345 to catch the 4 o’clock bus to a senior coworker and he asked why. I explained the car situation and he said “why don’t you just get a new car, they’re much nicer.”
It was the first time I realized that there were people who simply assumed that driving a 20 year old shitbox was an aesthetic choice or something.
Mind blowing.
AAAAAAAAAAAA I have had this said to me so many times and some folks just DO NOT GET IT. Like, I am a lucky person who probably could afford a new car, but I’m also a mechanic. I fix my 25 year old rusted out truck because I FUCKING LOVE THAT TRUCK. Which, shit, I guess is an aesthetic choice. Shit! I’m the reason your coworker was a prick!
That said, it’s, like, A LOT more reasonable to keep a shitbox running than to sign up for fucking years of car payments on something shiny that also might just fucking break AND that I’d have no fucking clue how to fix.
Oh my fucking g dash d this TRIGGERED a memory of a coworker who was so fucking into their cars shininess and newness that they spent almost their entire salary on cars. Tiny apartment, new car every six months, bought not leased, would sell the old one. Like, there’s neurodivergent and then there’s my dude it is clear you have never had to have sleep for dinner.
I worked with a guy many years ago that bragged to everyone that he had the same kind of car as the general manager of the store and had one of those extremely sensitive car alarms installed. People made a game out of kicking his tires and watching him come running out of the store because he had a dongle that would alert him when it was going off.
Which, shit, I guess is an aesthetic choice. Shit! I’m the reason your coworker was a prick!
Me going out to buy a 48 year old Lada.
I still drive a 20 year old car lol.
In part because I’m not sure how anyone can afford a new vehicle large enough to hold my family.
And in part because new cars are data collecting machines used by capitalists to further exploit the working class and squeeze as much value as possible from us. Between the abusive hardware/software interactions, the intentionally difficult to service designs, and shitty end user experience I tell everyone to buy old cars or at the very least clip all the antennas they can on their new one.
Not long before going over 5 mph is a monthly subscription and you have to watch a two minute thirty second ad before you can turn on the radio.
Not long before going over 5 mph is a monthly subscription and you have to watch a two minute thirty second ad before you can turn on the radio.
Let me be the one to say please step away from the lathe
