I’m pretty sure I’m in the small minority here but I personally feel like apologies are a better fit for accidents and miscommunications. If you steal from someone, cheat on someone, intentionally harm someone, etc. saying sorry doesn’t do much for me because if you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place. I appreciate the apology, but that doesn’t move me. Trust is always regained through actions, not words. Perhaps you could argue that a person has a “change of heart.” Maybe that might make the apology more valid. But idk
I think what’s worse is FORCED appologies. You already know if it’s forced, it’s just pointless words. They don’t mean it.
I’d respect it more if they doubled down, and gave the double middle finger. Like going on Lemmy and telling people that without drastic culture changing shifts in the overall presentation of the OS, linux will NEVER be a recognizable OS to the general public. 4% userbase is a pathetic number that represents an all time high, and is just as easily considered a rounding error for the REAL operating systems!
doubles down with a double middle finger
Oh! Oh! You want me to appologize!
moons the crowd
BASK IN MY GREATNESS!!!
I am in this situation with a family member. I asked for an apology for their behavior, and I got the flippant “I’m sorry” and “can we move on.” The reality is I’m… unable to move on until the situation is settled. “I require an apology for your behavior, both in words showing you understand why this is a problem, and the appropriate change of action.”
We are still trying to sort this out. It may not go well. WHEEEEEEEE
Empty words are pointless. You’re supposed to have the change of heart. That’s supposed to be what I’m sorry means there.
My dad told me a story once that I think resonates here. When he was a young man, he stole a bunch of tools from his former employer. He knew it was wrong. Eventually, it began to bother him and he knew that there was no way he could live with what he had done unless he tried to make it right as best he could.
He took all the tools back to his old boss, fully expecting to go to jail, and told him that he was sorry for stealing from him. To my dad’s amazement, his old boss just kind of stared at him in disbelief, accepted his apology, and sent him on his way.
A sincere apology is the first step in taking responsibility for your actions. It takes a dose of humility to go to someone you’ve wronged and tell them, sincerely, that you acknowledge that what you did was wrong and you are sorry for your actions.
The second step is being ready and willing to accept the consequences for your actions. Whatever those may be. The third is to do the right thing next time.
A personal philosophy that I try to live by and one that I try to teach my kids is, “Don’t do anything you’re going to have to lie about. And if you do, don’t lie about it. And if you do, come clean and make it right as soon as possible.” If you’re really a good person with integrity, living with your own lies or misdeeds eventually gets to be a heavy load. Apologies don’t make everything ok and they don’t undo your actions. But, they are an important first step in accepting responsibility for your actions and acknowledging the harm that you’ve caused.
If the apologee knows that the apologizer wasn’t sincere, then it’s pretty much worthless. However, the insincerity of the apologizer isn’t always known by the apologee, and that’s when the apology still does have the intended psychological effect on the apologee. However, an insincere apologizer doesn’t get any of the benefits giving an apology usually comes with. However, the apologizer can still view that as an effective a social manipulation method, if they’re a psychopath.
It is common to feel remorse afterwards, and apologizing communicates that. Not every act is well thought out or planned
