Like - what do I write in the card? What the hell do I get them? They come up so quickly as well.

2 points

Write the good that you wish them, get them something inexpensive that shows that you still pay attention to what they say and like. Simple. I hate em too but gotta adapt.to the game ig

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23 points

Yes. I hate birthdays, mine and others’. I hate receiving gifts and I hate being in the spotlight, and having to act differently towards others for one particular day of the year for no reason trips me up. If I appreciate another person I will show it consistently, not just on one token day of the year. The whole thing feels awkward and makes me act awkward.

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3 points

I may have seen something my girlfriend would have liked in a shop and bought it, then kept it over for a bit planning on giving it to her on her birthday. But then one time she was around and I wanted to give her something to show my love to her, so I just went and gave it to her early. Now I have to find something else. Oops.

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Cards:

  • write what you like about them
  • add a relevant story you guys share within the last year that reflects that quality of theirs

Gifts:

  • if they tell you they like something throughout the year, add it to a private note to look at during their bday
  • something they would love to have or use but wouldn’t spend their own money
  • bonus: relevant to their quality story

Example

Card: Happy birthday! I love how you’re always happy, like when we went to the beach and it started raining. Even though we were bummed out, you found a way to make it fun and we had a great time. I hope you receive the same happiness on your birthday that you gave me at the beach.

Gift: The shirt they said they liked at the beach store but didn’t buy it for themselves.

Follow me for more autism survival guides 👌

edit: Warning, some people will become upset if they recognize that you follow this/a formula. I haven’t figured out a solution to this.

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2 points

Genuinely helpful.

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You’re welcome! I’d be happy to help you out with your particular situation. Hit me up on matrix if you’d like 🙂👍

Also,

edit: Warning, some people will become upset if they recognize that you follow this/a formula. I haven’t figured out a solution to this.

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2 points

To be fair I use the same card design every year, so it probably wouldn’t be much worse

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2 points

But of course its you! :)) thanks for sharing this. I struggle with this as well. Great advice.

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Thanks! Imagine the possibilities if we could decode the patterns of NT social interaction. Formulas, flowcharts, and nodes everywhere 🙆. Birthday coming up? “Activate Birthday Gifts and Card Protocol, go!” 😄

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2 points

Now you know why I am so obsessed with linux and scripting. ;)

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1 point

Better than my method:

  • buy birthday card
  • attempt to write “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” in it and realize it already says that inside
  • underline “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” and add two more exclamation points
  • “love / sincerely / yours truly / — groucho”
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5 points

Like - what do I write in the card?

“Congratulations on surviving another circuit around the sun.”

What the hell do I get them?

I usually rely on them giving me a list.

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“Congratulations on surviving another circuit around the sun.”

This must be an innate autistic thought. I’m willing to bet that 90% of us (easy) have had this exact same thought.

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4 points

Yes and I literally forgot my own birthday once.

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Put this in your pocket as insurance, my dude/dudette:

Happy birthday! Hope you have a wonderful day celebrating your continued existence 🥳🎊🎉

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