87 points

When people think a bidet is stupid, I always ask: If you had poop on your arm, would you clean it with water or just wipe it with a dry towel and call it a day?

Not to mention it’s less irritating for ur bum

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46 points

lick it off like a cat

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10 points

If only

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12 points

Hey, that’s mine. You can’t have it.

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15 points

This question shows that people can have differing standards of cleanliness and it’s OK. Because the answer is “would you spray your arm with water only or would you use soap?” Bidets don’t use soap, so with either bidet or paper you can still feel dirty until a shower, it’s just what level of dirty you’re willing to accept.

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1 point
*

Bidets don’t use soap? Well, I use soap on every use, what kind of bidet instructions do you follow up? Sponge and hands, a bidet is like a mini shower in your groins without a full body implication, is just a washbasin at a convenient height… don’t you wash your hands and your face in the morning with soap in the washbasin?

EDIT: Probably we imply different things for “bidet”, I got South European one in mind…

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-15 points

Fallacy of relative privation. Red herring. Some other fallacy maybe. But a fallacy none the less.

Also, people with bidets still take showers so we may not use soap all the time but they we still do. A guy I used to play football with would never use a bidet nor wash his ass with soap cause a man’s finger near an ass is gay even if it’s his ass and finger

Either way you’re being a jerk

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7 points

No idea what you’re trying to say. Generally all people (whether bidet or paper users) use soap when taking a shower, but virtually no one uses it on their ass in the bathroom. Ergo you’re “dirty” until the shower. For you a bidet feels clean and paper users are dirty. For a “neat freak” they have to immediately wash their ass with soap and non-soap bidet users are dirty.

People have different preferences and it’s not a logical fallacy.

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1 point

Then maybe the answer could be something like a car wash machine: first pass with soap and then only water.

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9 points

Hey, fellow Spuds fan. I have a similar one but it’s: "If you smeared peanut butter on the outside of a watermelon but wiped it off with dry toilet paper, wouldn’t you expect it to still smell like peanut butter?

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3 points

Hwat

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1 point

That’s a fair question.

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2 points

Honestly, I feel like they’re both gonna smell like peanut butter about the same

Especially if you do that with a potato instead of a watermelon

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1 point

Certainly the one you’ve sprayed after wiping would smell less like peanut butter though? The first thing we do when cleaning anything seriously is get the wiper/scrubber/sponge/paper towel wet, with either water or cleaning solutions.

The moral of the story is y’all need to wash your asses however it gets done.

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3 points

Honestly I’d say wiping my arm with a bunch of paper towels is about the same as spraying it down with a garden hose. I feel like people who say otherwise have never actually tried to rinse something off their body with just water pressure and no scrubbing.

I still plan to get a bidet because it’s less irritating as you said.

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2 points

Loudermilk had an episode on this.

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-1 points

You still have to wipe though, right? Using just water to clean it off your arm would still leave a stain. You have to make contact to rub away what remains somehow.

I’ve used a few bidets and while it was fun and they did an ok job there was no soap involved and I still had to wipe. I don’t hate them, they make some sense, but a bidet is not magic.

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18 points

I’ve used a bidet for a decade and the only reason I have to wipe is to dry off

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-5 points

Only if you have a solid one. If your poo is sticky it leaves a smear and even high pressure water won’t shift, and that’s when you need a wipe.

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6 points

If the pressure is right u should be able to get everything, but yeah even then you need to dry it.

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4 points

No. If you are using a decent bidet and using it correctly, you do not need to wipe. At most you’ll need to dab dry, but some models have blow driers so this isn’t necessary. The water is the friction you need unless your bidet has weak pressure or the stream is too dispersed.

Soap would always be better, but water alone is vastly superior and a complete replacement for wiping so long as something isn’t wrong with the setup.

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1 point

There are people who always have super solid movements that don’t leave a trail. Many of us have a variety of textures that smear as they exit. A bidet removes the majority of it but never all, and wiping reveals what is left behind.

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3 points

You still have to wipe though, right?

Yes, of course.

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-28 points

This is a trap, literally none of you want to hear why bidets are disgusting and I will not be dragged into this again.

Fuck bidets and everyone who recommends them.

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10 points

Wrong.

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8 points

what? I like them but I’m happy to hear your arguments if you would articulate them.

“You’re wrong I’m right but I won’t tell you why” is the opposite of a useful comment

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-6 points

Every time I lay out my talking points about moisture contact and contaminated spray you fucknuggets just spam my inbox with insults so I have zero interest in arguing with any of you wetasses.

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76 points

Three seashells and a poop knife was good enough for my pappy and my grandpappy and his pappy before him, and it’s damn well good enough for me & my sons.

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11 points

I wish I could upvote this twice.

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5 points

Gifting mine in your name, I got your back.

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1 point

And my bidet…

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Wouldn’t recommend. I bought a Kärcher brand one some time ago, it had too much pressure. Got my butt cleaned to the bone though.

Edit: I appreciate the advice about pressure, but folks, I was joking about power washers 😆

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12 points

I come for the clean bum. I stay for the surprise enema.

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9 points

My bidet BLASTS my bits and I love it. I’m ALWAYS bits-clean.

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5 points

You need to use the valve to adjust the pressure. They’re also not all the same.

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5 points

I like a diesel-fired Hotsy, myself.

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4 points

Extra pressure seems to have done wonders for Wim Hof.

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4 points

I have the same, cleaned my tonsils a treat at the same time.

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4 points
*

There are pressure and temperature regulators you’re supposed to attach with them so that you can have control over both

Edit in case you’re interested, it’s called a bidet mixing valve, and you can control temp and pressure with a single accessory which you attach to your existing plumbing. The controls for the adjustments are kept outside of the wall and look like any regular shower control for temp. They sell them in any number of stylings and finishes

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4 points

To the bone, you say?

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Yeah… I probably should have watched some reviews before buying this.

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4 points

“Dad’s awfully noisy in the toilet these days!” “It’s his new bidet! He says it cleans his arse to the bone!” “To the bone, you say?”

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3 points

And his wife?

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3 points

To the bone, you say!

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2 points

In finland they are adjusted by the tap so you can have appropriate temp./pressure.

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42 points

Such a huge difference in cleanliness when using these.

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8 points

Everytime I travel I wonder how the godless savages live like this

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6 points

A lot of middle eastern countries have these at hotels.

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3 points

You can buy portable bidets! Been a game changer for travel

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17 points

Bidets fuck hard.

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