57 points

My wife: “What are we doing this weekend?”

Me: “The same thing we do every weekend. Try and take over the world.”

Both of us laughing

Me: “No, seriously, I’ve got a bunch of yard work to do.”

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7 points
*

No, seriously, I’ve got a bunch of yard work to do.

I once had a series of those suburban yards. Now, my rural yard is mostly some grasses, wild strawberry, and dandelion. There’s ants, spiders, slugs, praying mantis, ladybugs and others that mimic them, and worms. I let one corner do its thing and now it’s full of bees. I no longer use water, fertilizer or weedkiller. I just mow it. It’s always green, though what’s growing well changes with the season and conditions. Nature takes care of itself, despite me running my mower over it.

I thought about not mowing it. But, I’m worried about rodents, snakes, and black bear getting too close. I should probably plant some native trees and shrubs to eat some space.

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28 points

Anyone wanna go to a Trump rally and leave halfway through?

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21 points

You wanna go that long? Shit the best time to leave is when he walks onto the stage.

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8 points

I think maybe I can last 10 minutes if I wear earplugs

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6 points

Just leave right after the kid rock show

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8 points

Dammit this better not appeal to me

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20 points

Pinky and the Lack-of-brain at the top of republican ticket

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18 points

You laugh but project 2025 is actually the plan made by the Brain. The problem was the huge hubris in making the plan public.

Now that common scene in a 007 movie where the baddies explain in detail how they will take over the world doesn’t seem so farfetched.

In fact, it would be as if Doctor No made a free pdf with his plans.

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-5 points

Wait… You think Trump came up with an idea, and then he wrote it down… Like a 400 page book? Seriously??

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7 points

No, I think they’re saying the Heritage Foundation is The Brain, thinking big and shooting itself in the foot, and Trump is Pinky, the idiot who accidentally manages to become powerful occasionally.

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8 points

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4 points

Dis is the good shit I was excited for

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