Sir Ian McKellen dropped a stinker on the British talkshow This Morning earlier in the week so putrid that even Gollum himself might steer clear of it. The 85-year-old star of the Lord of the Rings movies was being asked about a return to Middle-earth in The Hunt for Gollum, which will see Peter Jackson (this time as producer) and Andy Serkis (director, and Gollum) heading back to JRR Tolkien’s high fantasy classic more than two decades after the former completed 2003’s Oscar-winning The Return of the King.
“There’ll be a script arriving sometime in the new year, and I’ll judge whether I want to go back,” laughed McKellen. “I would. I would love to go back to New Zealand, number one. And also, I don’t like the idea of anyone else playing Gandalf.”
But then he added: “I’m told it’s two films. I probably shouldn’t be saying that. But I haven’t read the script. So, I don’t know if it is.”
Is McKellen winding us up? For those who haven’t been keeping a close eye on The Hunt for Gollum, which was announced in May, it’s possible this doesn’t sound all that weird. After all, Jackson made trilogies out of both The Lord of the Rings (1,000 pages +) and the far more breezy, 300-page Hobbit.
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And here lies the problem with The Hunt for Gollum, and in particular the prospect of it being stretched to two movies. It’s not a book at all, in fact it’s barely a few hundred words of high-end Gandalf-speak at the Council of Elrond, in Rivendell, before the quest to destroy the ring begins a-proper (though there are some background details in the Lord of the Rings’ appendices and Tolkien’s posthumously assembled Unfinished Tales). Yes, we’re told that Aragorn’s search for the wretched former ring-bearer, at the behest of the grey wizard, took many years. But while the future King of Gondor’s adventures in the period are well-documented in Tolkien’s writings, he definitely did not spend all this time trudging through murky pools in search of Middle-earth’s equivalent of the guy in the park who’s always talking to pigeons.
Fair enough, Gollum is essentially Middle-earth’s hide-and-seek champion, a creature with the ability to vanish into a rock crevice like a feral cat who owes you rent money. Tracking him would be like trying to follow lembas breadcrumbs through a hurricane on the peaks of the Misty Mountains, or chasing a hyperactive squirrel hopped up on pipeweed through Fangorn Forest. But two (probably two-hour plus) movies? Perhaps we’ll get 20 minutes of Aragorn thoughtfully stroking his chin while staring at some vague footprints, or a 45-minute subplot where Gandalf takes a quick detour to the Prancing Pony for a not-so-swift half or eight. Or maybe there will be huge detours away from the dead marshes in which Strider gets involved in something else entirely, just for a bit of a break from the tedium.
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The only issue here, of course, is that Bloom will be approaching 50 when this thing eventually gets made, but will be appearing as a younger version of the character he played 20-plus years ago. But don’t panic, the film-makers are reportedly planning to overcome such issues – elves are supposed to be immortal, but they do not age backwards – via the magic of artificial intelligence. “I did speak to Andy [Serkis] and he did say they were thinking about how to do things,” Bloom told Variety. “I was like, ‘How would that even work?’ And he was like, ‘Well, AI!’”
No doubt 65-year-old Viggo Mortensen will also be pricking up his ears at this news.
Jackson’s Lord Of The Rings was great for what they were, 3 movies but done well with thought, The Hobbit movies were purposefully elongated drawn out enshitified trash, Rings of Power is enshitified trash. Star Wars prequels and sequels were enshitified trash. All Hollywood is doing at this point is holding fans upside down to see how much money falls out of us, then they do it again. Blech.
Hey! Don’t put the prequels in with the enshittified Hollywood! They were enshittified by George jumping the gun on a mostly CG movie and having too much control on the scripts/etc.
That’s totally different from executives demanding more runtime for more movies at a fast pace.
…The new sequels were definitely Disney enshittifying Star Wars, though.
How dare you insult the prequels. lol. Seriously though, at least the prequels had a structured, coherent, and overarching story; unlike the sequels that were just a mess of three different movies.
It’s not explicitly Hollywood’s fault. Someone who has no interest in franchise quality holds the rights for the franchise, and those rights will soon expire. Their options are to get rich on soulless cash grabs or don’t and make no money. Copyright law hasn’t helped content creators in decades.
I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. It would seem like a film based on the hunt for Gollum would reasonably conclude with them finding Gollum. That’s something they didn’t do. Bilbo stumbled upon him, haphazardly in the media we’ve already consumed.
So, maybe, at least give the film a different name.
It’s been a minute since I’ve read the books, so feel free to correct me, but doesnt Gandalf ask Aragorn to find Gollum after Bilbo’s birthday? Then they imprison him with the elves who feel pity for him and let him climb a tree. Then he won’t come down or something and gets away.
I assumed this is what the hunt for Gollum is, but I haven’t looked at anything to confirm this.
“Precious, it’s been called that before…”
That is what I remember too.
- Bilbo meets Gollum in The Hobbit
- Gandalf gets suspicious and sends Aragorn to capture Gollum
- Gollum gets captured and imprisoned with the Elves
- Gollum escapes
- Gollum reappears during The Fellowship of the Ring
Right, right, right. I forgot about that detail. It feels like, again, they don’t though, right? Gollum is found by orcs (?) and interrogated before sneaking out and eventually stalking Frodo.
Nah, that’s a period when gandalf fucked off for 17 years (in books) (or 2 minutes of montage to library in movie) to find what the ring was and returned to shire to make frodo go away
I read fellowship after seeing the movie, the movie is what got me into the books and I read all of them as soon as I was done with the Fellowship movie because I had to know what happened, and I was like, 12. Anyway, it made it really interesting to me because I was like 17 YEARS?! Gandalf was gone for YEARS?! Then he just showed up again one day and was like “hey remember me it’s been 17 years anyway the end of the world is coming and you gotta fuck off to Mordor now”.
This takes place during the 17-year time skip between Bilbo’s birthday party and when Frodo returns home to discover an agitated Gandalf in his home asking if the Ring’s safe. What, you didn’t think it felt like Gandalf going to read that diary in Gondor took 17 years??? Yeah, the movies kinda streamlined and simplified that part.
It’s wild they’re retroactively adding shit they just completely excised from the original film adaptations. What’s next, a side movie about the Hobbits encountering the barrow wights and Tom Bombadil before they reach Bree? A movie about the Scouring of the Shire?
I hear the RoP S2 already fucked Bombadil pretty bad. I couldn’t make it past half of ep 1, though. 🤮🥲
To be fair, the Amazon show is an entirely separate adaptation and has no relation to the Jacksonverse.
I would assume Warner Brothers would fuck him up in a different way. Judging from the quality of the writing in the Hobbit trilogy I would assume they’d turn Tom Bombadil into a stoner stereotype who also farts constantly or something
Oh goody, another two movies I’m going to pretend don’t exist in order to preserve my childhood memories.
I have an important prediction and you should take is seriously because I’m a part time mystic person. This movie is gonna fuckin’ suck
Tolkien extended cinematic universe
You know, that would actually be great. If they were using anything other than this trash.
Tell the story of how the world was made and Suron turning evil, you cowards.
