A day late, but not forgotten!

15 points

Well, the day after D and I met he let me know he just tested positive for chlamydia! So rather than getting me tested, my doctor just wrote a prescription and said no sexy fun for two weeks. Which has been…fine.

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9 points

Ouch

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15 points

I’ve been meeting up with a woman who is into CNC. She hasn’t seen my face, but I’ve filled her in her backyard and in a hotel room after tying her up on the floor and leaving a magic wand in her for an hour.

(Yes, we’ve shared recent STI results)

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17 points

I didn’t know there were horny machinists out there!

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8 points

I know she’s down bad when she sends me a gcode file.

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10 points

My gf lost her job, she’s in a rough spot for a few weeks. I went to the ATM on my way over and pulled some money out. When I got there I gave her the money. Then I asked if she’d be interested in a scene where she had to earn it. For an hour I had a whore that already knew everything I liked.I haven’t nutted that hard in a while.

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9 points

I didn’t wash my hands after using the bathroom one time today and that felt pretty naughty.

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6 points

You’re going to jail

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5 points

That’s dirty and naughty.

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7 points

Day 3257 without intimate contact: My cumsock just told me it only wants to be friends. I’m concerned that my hand is going to leave me to see other people.

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Ask Lemmy NSFW

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