72 points

Unhinged entry level employee screaming and swearing and threatening the CFO and spit in her coffee mug.

An email went out to the whole company telling us not to let him in the building before he even got back to his desk to be fired. This is a software company, not exactly the type of place that has armed guards, but the (ex-military) information security dude set up in the area packing for a few weeks after that.

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18 points

Hope the info sec guy got some hazard bonus. Doubt he/she would ask for it though.

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59 points

There was a guy who was in tech support who talked to a customer about who was hot or not in the company. It was actually the customer who started the conversation, but the rep ran with it and used all kinds of unprofessional and disparaging language when describing his female co-workers.

That call happened to have a supervisor listening in, so he was fired immediately after he got off the call. The thing is found out who called in, and the women on the team had to assist him when he called for support.

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51 points

Someone got really drunk and was in the bathroom willing to take all comers at a work function.

It was a shame, I liked working with them.

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41 points

was in the bathroom willing to take all comers

Can’t tell if they wanted to participate in sex acts or have a brawl

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9 points

Por que no los dos?

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9 points

It was a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B.

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1 point

Yes.

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84 points

Working on a boat. We got a new shipmate who had worked there on previous seasons, most of us didn’t know him but he was good friends with another member of the crew. The day he got in the two of them spent the night catching up and getting absolutely trashed. Night ended with new guy stumbling in to the cook’s cabin and pissing right on the cook while he was sleeping. New guy was fired that morning without having worked a single day.

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15 points

Hopeful ship was at shore still at the time? Would suck to be fired while out at sea. Awkward ride back.

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10 points
*

We were in Puerto Rico for our winter maintenance period, just starting to bring on crew for the sailing season. I’ve never worked on a boat where people drink underway and I don’t think I’d want to.

On boats you usually don’t get told you’re fired until you reach port.

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121 points
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A guy in our data center couldn’t figure out who owned a particular machine that he needed to work on. So his solution to figure it out was to let them come to him. He went and pulled out the network cable and waited. He was escorted out a little while later. The moral of the story is don’t go disabling production machines on purpose.

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96 points

Honestly we do that when we ask and no one speaks up. Lovingly called the “scream test” as we wait to see who screams.

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59 points

I guess it depends on where you work. This was a large datacenter for a very large health insurance company. They made it a point later that day to remind people that it was a fireable offense to mess with production machines like that on purpose. And evidently the service he disabled was critical enough that it didn’t take long for the hammer to come down. There were plenty of ways to find out who owned the machine, he just chose the easiest and got fired on the spot for it.

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4 points

So it wasn’t accurate when you said he “couldn’t” figure it out.

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38 points

Scream tests are a last resort though.

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12 points

Sounds like it was a last resort if he “couldn’t figure out” whose machine it was.

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41 points

Yeah, I’ve done that before – after asking literally everyone in IT, plus our external consultants, and getting the go-ahead from my team lead and the head of IT.

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50 points

Where I worked we had a very important time sensitive project. The server had to do a lot of calculations on a terrain dataset that covered the entire planet.

The server had a huge amount of RAM and each calculation block took about a week. It could not be saved until the end of the calculation and only that server had the RAM to do the work. So if it went down we could lose almost a weeks work.

Project was due in 6 months and calculation time was estimated to be about 5 1/2 months. So we couldn’t afford any interruptions.

We had bought a huge UPS meant for a whole server rack. For this one server. It could keep the server up for three days. That way even if wet lost power over the weekend it would keep going and we would have time to buy a generator.

One Friday afternoon the building losses power and I go check on the server room. Sure enough the big UPS with a sign saying only for project xyz has a bunch of other servers plugged into it.

I quickly unplug all but ours. I tell my boss and we go home at 5. Latter that day the power comes back on.

On Monday there are a ton of departments bitching that they came in an their servers were unplugged. Lots of people wanted me fired. My boss backed me and nothing happened but it was stressful.

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39 points
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Deleted by creator
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4 points

At a startup a long time ago, I was working on the weekend and brought my 3 year old with me. We had a customer coming in next week and this one machine was 5 days into a 7 day model build.

We had to go into that office to help someone with something unrelated. The little shit saw the blinking light and headed straight for the button.

On this computer (HP 710), it didn’t shut off until you released the button. He actually was just pressing it but got spooked when I tried to get to it.

The next day our CEO told the guys that built that app that it had to be made so it could recover from crashes and restart from where it left off.

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3 points

If you fear reprisal for a scream test then you need to make it look like an accident.

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