I really dislike rhetorical questions.
This isn’t really a neurotypical vs atypical thing. Some people are just assholes and want to exert control over others/don’t value the reasoning of others.
I think some people just aren’t looking for a answer, they just want to bitch.
This is most often when there’s nothing wrong with the way you’ve done something, it’s just not the way they do it.
If you ask my why and then go on about how you dont want excuses, the convo is over.
A reason is a motivation to do a thing. An excuse is a reason to do the wrong thing (though not necessarily an inherently wrong thing - just anything that the other person thinks was wrong).