Specifically thinking of stuff that make your life better in the long run but all kinds of answers are welcome!
I’ve recently learnt about lifetraps and it’s made a huge positive impact on how I view myself and my relationships
The HR department at your company is the company’s advocate they are not your advocate.
It’s important to remember that - unless you work directly for the owner or an executive appointed by the board - they’re not your boss’ advocate either.
If the company is worth a shit, they don’t want bosses that abuse their power or make their subordinates miserable. Happy employees are productive employees.
We’ve rid ourselves of a few problem bosses that way. Of course, this only applies to legitimate issues. If a boss is causing people to quit, you’ve got a good case.
This is the part everyone misses. I worked in HR for a number of years and 90% of my job was telling low/middle level managers “you can’t do that to your employee.” (I wasnt high up enough to be dealing with c-suite level complaintants), 9% was recruiting and paperwork, and 1% was telling an employee “You did something potentially terminable.”
Most people only seem to recall that 1% and then keep talking about how “HR isn’t your friend/on your side theyre on the company’s side.” Which is true! But they also didn’t see the 1000 times I slapped their managers hand because I was on the companies side not the managers. Unless your really high up your manager is someone’s employee too. HR isn’t siding with you manager for shits and giggles, there is a reason management won a complaint against you and it isn’t “HR likes management better.” It’s that they framed your problematic behavior better than you framed theirs. Frame everything you report to HR as “this is why it’s a liability for the company” not “I don’t like x,y,z. So-and-so is mean.”
Also remeber just being a bad manager (not doing something immediately terminable) isn’t a firable offense. Yelling/being a low level dick for example may not be something deemed firable. One complaint isn’t gonna e enough and ideally multiple people will complain as well.
That still means 91% of your job is mitigating legal repercussions/liability.
The trick is knowing how to phrase it so it’s clear it’s a problem for the company. They usually love SBIN (situation behavior impact next steps) so it’s good format to use:
Dear HR,
On the meeting XYZ
My boss Bully McIdiot was screaming like a toddler at everyone that disagreed with him
This is preventing the free flow of ideas and Innovation and creating an »»hostile work environment««
So he should be fired. Preferably from a cannon.
kisses and hugs,
the employee of the year
Is this also true outside America? You know, the kinds of places with unions, labor rights and laws that actually favor the employee?
Unions are all workers friend, but they are not your advocate. If your salary is up to the agreed national contract and there is little they can do.
it depends on the country, and where exactly you work, but in many countries (ehem Italia) they are somewhat too comfortable with the company management to be effective at their job.
It is still true, at least in Europe. I mean, they’re not actually trying to destroy your life, you know, but they’re after the company’s best interests. They might help you, and might make things not the worst they possibly can, because that’ll give a bad rep, but they’re not your friend.
Everyone should know that, very often, they are just wrong. And that’s ok. We all are.
The more ready you are to really accept that you could be wrong about anything, and admit when you are wrong about something, the better you will make your own life, as well as the lives of those around you.
And not only will you make everyone’s lives better - seemingly ironically, by simply accepting the fact that you’re often wrong, you actually make it more likely that you’ll be right.
That’s the part that I think people especially need to understand, since a refusal to admit that you’re wrong is generally rooted in an ego-driven need to be right, and refusing to admit that you’re wrong guarantees that right is the one thing that you won’t be. You’ll just keep clinging to the same wrong idea and keep failing to fulfill that need to be right.
If, on the other hand, you just freely admit that you’re wrong, then you’re instantly free to move on to another, and better, position, making it that much more likely that you’ll actually be right. And if you don’t get it that time, that’s fine - just freely admit that you’re wrong again and move on again. Keep doing that and sooner or later you actually will be right, instead of just pretending to be.
So you’ll not only make everyone’s lives more pleasant - you’ll actually better serve your desire to be right. What more could you want?
I am ready to accept that I’m wrong but I don’t want to deal with the bullies after proven wrong :(
Dude, you just don’t care.
If you’re swayed to their side, then bullied for it, ask them why do they even bother arguing then and why not just go fight random strangers? Then tell them to have some self respect and act like they’ve been here before. Say “for fucks sake” under your breath but still in earshot, shaking your head as you walk away.
Control + Backspace deletes entire words rather than individual characters
Control + Arrows also moves your text cursor by whole words. Combine it with shift and you can easily select a bunch of text without the mouse.
Another one that took me far too long to learn: Shift + Tab will do the same thing as tab (next element) in reverse
Also shift+pos1/end selects whole rows or parts from where the cursor is.
Ctrl + shift + v to strip formatting before pasting (can be application dependent)
You can only help people who want to be helped. That goes for yourself, too. You can’t help yourself until you actually have the desire to improve.
In the same vein, wanting different outcomes requires different incomes.
Take all your actions and add them up = this. If you wanted that not this, all your inputs need to be under the spotlight and changes made; including and especially habits, vices, behaviours, opinions, assumptions, collection and quality of knowledge, relationships, etc etc. Sometimes the cost or sacrifice from and of yr current self is large and largely invisible.
Being uncomfortable means you’re learning. Learning means you’re growing. If you’re never uncomfortable, you haven’t reached luxury and made it, you’ve reached stagnation and have stopped ‘living’ your life.
Choosing the lesser of two evils, or the devil you know, or never doing anything about a life you don’t like or want, is cowardice and will slowly crush your soul into despair. Choosing the unknown might end up sucking, but it might be better. If the known is guaranteed to suck, take the unknown - at least there’s hope there and despair, a feeling worse than pain, is a failing to find hope.
This is true. But if it’s somebody important your life, social pressure can help.
Demonstrate the lifestyle you want to help them lead. Give them opportunities to join you, not pushy opportunities just let’s do a thing together. And you demonstrate the better lifestyle.
No it wouldn’t get somebody off drugs. But it might help somebody exercise more or eat healthier if you normalize it
The ducks at the park are free. Like you can just take them.
I had a conversation with ChatGPT on that subject. It could not stress enough how terrible it would be for the duck if I brought it home with me, and that was despite me informing the AI that the duck in question was special, that it could talk and had specifically requested to come home with me.
This is not true. There are a litany of laws that capturing a wild duck from a public park would be a violation of, so don’t do it.
This depends on your location. In many countries the ducks at the park are way more expensive than the ones you can get at the grocery.
