This isn’t wholesome for me, it is a literal waking nightmare.
I don’t want cookie cutter suburban stability I want a reason to live.
This ain’t it for me man.
The OP post doesn’t say it’s a suburb. It could be country or city for all we know. I have seen snow in both.
Maybe the “kids” are your cat/dog “children.”
Maybe it’s not stable. Maybe you are the president of a company that does work on a contract basis, and you choose who you do the work for because you make the proposals.
If marriage doesn’t sound good to you because you associate it with monogamy, know that there is such a thing as a non-monogamous marriage. I’m in one.
I recently moved to a city close to several national forest preserves. My dream is to buy a few dozen acres butting up against preserved land with a supply of water. I want to start a family and build a homestead that might withstand the changing climate.
I’ve spent over a decade of my adult life split between roles both teaching children and working at a tech company that didn’t appreciate me nearly enough. Up until the end of last year, I made between $14 - $35 / hr. I finally left the abusive tech company and spent 6 - 9 months searching until a few months ago, I started a new job. It’s a DevOps role at a company with a great product, doing something I believe in, for really intelligent passionate people, for almost $200k a year.
Currently, not only is paying off my student loans finally a possibility, with remote work, that homestead life is now possible too. My work is rewarding, and instead of just staying home and smoking weed, I have high enough income and low enough stress to feel comfortable going out.
I sing Karaoke one day a week, go to a writer’s group another day, take a cooking class about once a month, and currently, I’ve decided to learn DnD. All of these activities once seemed fiscally irresponsible to me, because I felt like I had to devote my time into passion projects to try to escape the rat race. Now that I have real income, I’m fully invested in it. I’m ready to sacrifice my day hours for good enough cheese.
It’s all relative. I want to overthrow our oppressors as much as anyone. I haven’t been bought out necessarily. But given the situation, I’m starting to buy in, just a bit. If a bit of wealth and a role I don’t hate can enable me to get physically fit, find a partner, and secure a plot of land where we can weather the oncoming storm, I have a hard time not rejoicing in the idea that ten years from now, we might be living a relatively mundane rural lifestyle. If we need some technical manpower to bring the oligarchy down, I’ll be there. But maybe also it’s okay to want to be happy.
A non-monogamous marriage counter to most of people’s concept behind a marriage. It’s good it works for you but is fairly fringe.
Monogamy is a human construct that had a beginning. It could have an end.
You hear: Employed, has home, married, has kids
You think: Cookie cutter suburban stability, literal waking nightmare?
You can’t walk away from those things easily.
I see them as suffocating and a compromise to my own self.
Of course I accept that others see it differently but your response is exactly why this is a denigrated view.
If you go against the grain of our society (I.e. you aren’t a heterosexual couple with children, a house, job and family pet) you are weird or unsuitable for raising children.
FYI the person above me edited their original comment where they said I shouldn’t have children (for the children’s sake - won’t somebody think of the children!!!).
It’s important context because I would say it is the prevailing view of our society (that social deviants should not have children) but they said the silent part out loud and realised.
You know, I know how you feel. You may change, you may not. I used to feel the exact same way, but I did change some (not 100%). I’m pretty happy.
On the other hand my very good friend is well into his 40s, hasn’t changed, and he’s like this weird (in the best way) technical nomad who walks away from almost everything every so often.
So do you. That dream is for a whole lot of folks, but not everyone. I see you. Do what makes you happy.
I did edit out that part, almost immediately, because I realized it came off mean and that wasn’t my intention. I do still very much think if you “have no reason to live” you should not have children.
For someone who’s so concerned about feeling like your perspective is denigrated, I wonder why you think denigrating the perspective of people who have kids, etc is alright? I mean, what did you expect in response when you insult people, calling their lives “cookie cutter suburban stability” when you don’t know anything about them? You don’t need to be some white cishet christian man to have a family and a job, to think you’re not insulting diverse people with the way you approached this is ignorant on your part
About 5 years ago, I had this dream… I was sat at the bottom of a spiral staircase, in what I knew to be my house, having a party with my fiancee sat next to me. I laughed and said “How did I get so lucky, someone pinch me!”. Fiancee pinched me, I said “ow!” and we laughed. Then I woke up, fucking brutal sense of loss for a wonderful life that suddenly didn’t exist.
I still remember it quite clearly. Last month my landlord served notice on me after 13 years (wants to sell), I’m self employed and always thought a mortgage was out of the question. Well… I have tenative approval from a lender… and an offer accepted on a house… still time for it to fall apart. So I refuse to get excited till keys in hand.
Anyway this has turned into a bit of a long ting. But just wanted to share, for anyone else who thinks it’s impossible… it’s very hard. But do-able.
Dude I’m so sorry, isn’t why is it that your own brain/subconscious can be so shitty to yourself? Why Do we torture ourselves :(
Exceptionally cruel, wasn’t it! Probably just my subconscious trying to remind me that I once dreamed of owning my own home and finding that special someone. “Like come on dude! I’m trapped in here with you, the input of late has become quite depressing, can you sort yourself out please?”
This is literally impossible. Christmas 2033 falls on a Sunday, how can the following day be Saturday?
You aren’t accounting for the inclusion of “Trumpsday” to extend the workweek in honor of the newly-declared President for Life in the late 2020s.
Reality:
You get fucked by big companies. Your snow is reduced to februrary because of climate change.
Finding a special other is almost impossible due to social media fed anxiety. Meeting people outside of the internet is unknown and people on the internet are the weirdest ones.
Owning a house is a privilege of the upper society.
Thanks to our parents and grand parents the governments in most countries are more right wing than before.
I agree w most of this but I’d argue most people meet outside the internet. I’m online far too much for it to be healthy and even I meet most people irl
While this may be true, I usually think that the problem is me, not other people
“Reality” from OP’s post is not 10 years from now, it’s right now for me except it’s not Christmas and snowing because it’s September.
I achieved it by living in a low cost of living area and being smart. I got academic scholarships to get my start in college, then built a mountain of student loan debt as I continued through college, then entered the workforce and built a good career. Still working on almost 40k of loans and a mortgage, but I have it all well under control.
Good for you. I for my case also don’t have it bad. Never even knew of Student debt until I went to reddit, because in Germany most education is free.
However we should consider us lucky and most people won’t even have a chance to get there even if they work 20 hours a day.
It pretty much is for a majority of my contemporaries in this low cost of living area. Lots of nice houses around here for under $300k. Mine was under 150k
I’m going to be honest but that’s really not my dream life lol
