My trick for dealing with “blushing bladder” is a Palovian response on myself. I realized I had certain pee triggers. Long story short, there are certain places and situations that cause me to need to urinate. So I figured why not use a word as a trigger? While at home I began saying the trigger word just as I felt the flow begin. Every time I pee, I say the word. My blushing bladder went away. Some of the music venues i frequent have urinals literally elbow to elbow so it’s awkward but there’s no trouble when I say the trigger word. The only problem now is people look at me weird when I’m looking at my dick saying “shazam”.
I read on reddit one time—years and years ago—that doing simple multiplication can help occupy the part of your brain keeping you from pissing. A sequence like 2x2=4, 4x4=16, 16x16=256…etc.
I’ve been doing that ever since, and it really helps. Usually by the time I get to doing 16x16 in my head, I’m already peeing.
Urinals should definitely exist because they speed things up a ton. If you’re too shy to piss into a urinal just go to the shitter instead. But don’t dare try to take the speed and convenience away from the rest of us, goddammit!
Is this comment ironic?
I’ll be honest — I think they should exist. The piss shy phase is short and universal… but we all get over it.
Okay. It had a lot of upvotes so I thought it was ironic as there is a movement in my city to stealth eradicate urinals. Every remodel now replaces urinals with stalls… some leave one stall so there isn’t backlash.
There are also flushness urinals which use zero fresh water, just a floating, replenishable barrier fluid. I want one at home.
Do you think that you need to pull your pants all the way down and sit to use a toilet to pee, if not what are you doing in the stall that wastes a ton more time? It’s not much slower from my experience just do it the way you would a urinal, with the only difference being that you have a door and real walls.
This cartoon can’t exist. Urinal etiquette requires:
That you should have one empty urinal between you and the next guy if at all possible. And always go to the nearest open urinal when you enter.
And that you look straight ahead and never look to either side of you. You must stare solely at the wall straight ahead of you. Thoughtful establishments hang pictures or current sales flyers at eye level to look at while peeing.
And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there. So there is absolutely no way this cartoon can happen in the real world.
if at all possible
I hate that I’m arguing the reality of a comic world, but we can’t see the rest of the wall. We don’t know if there’s 2/3 urinals total, making it impossible to leave a buffer urinal between them.
Also, without considering it a “rule” I leave an empty urinal between as well, but I don’t go as far as resorting to using a stall if I only have to pee. That’s just silly…
You’re kidding yourself. The norm in American bars is to have two urinals whose porcelain touches, and everyone pees with their buddy while having a boisterous chat.
Ah, the ol’ honky tonk urinal that is just a rain gutter hung at an angle with a hose dribbling into the high side.
I do not miss small towns.
You must spend a fair amount of time in bars to be so wise. Bars and even restaurants have limited floor space so they can often have just one urinal and you wait your turn. And I have never had anyone even try to talk to me in a bar or restaurant restroom. Why would they? We are there to drink and eat, not discuss philosophy.
People have often tried to strike up conversations in bathrooms when I was clubbing. In their defence, I did look like a drug dealer at the time.
You have not peed in enough bars, friend. Once the conversational juices get flowing, people sometimes follow you in to the toilet to keep the conversation going.
In the men’s bathroom, violating any of these rules of etiquette brings the death penalty.
I cover big public board meetings as part of my job, and when I go on breaks, I tend to use the bathroom, because I am a person. Without fail, someone will come in and talk to me while I’m pissing. I don’t personally care, I was in the Marines for a bit and they beat all of that out of you (i.e., a room with eight toilets and that’s it, no walls, nothing, just eight toilets, four on each wall so you can face each other). Regardless though, I never walk in and talk to someone randomly, so it’s strange to me that others do it to me. I guess I just look like a nice guy.
And always go to the nearest open urinal when you enter.
I usually go to the one closest to the wall. It seems comfier
And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there.
I’m not stopping the chat with my bro just because I have a dick in my hand I’m pissing. I have shit to say
And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there.
I’m not stopping the chat with my bro just because I have a dick in my hand I’m pissing. I have shit to say
I’d also like to say that some of the funniest things I’ve ever heard have been uttered by a random at a urinal.
I agree with all of this except the “always go to the nearest urinal.” I don’t think it matters which you go to as long as you follow the pattern that allows for the maximum number of urinals to be filled while leaving a one-urinal gap between you and the next person.
Let me explain:
🚽 = urinal, 🚹 = person peeing
You have the following setup:
🚽 | 🚽 | 🚽
Correct urinal to occupy:
🚹 | 🚽 | 🚽 OR 🚽 | 🚽 | 🚹
Incorrect:
🚽 | 🚹 | 🚽
Notice how the correct solution allows for a second urinal to be occupied while still maintaining the courtesy urinal between. The incorrect solution doesn’t.
Count the number of tiles in front of you, solve some math problems in your head, think about what to do next saturda- shit, some guy just moved next to me. Is he looking? Maybe I should pull out my phone and check lemmy. …but then people will think I’m recording them piss, and the fact that I’m still not pissing will further justify their suspicions. Maybe I should just pretend to have a small coughing fit and that’s why I can’t pee. But then people will start looking, and maybe even worry I’ll spray them accidentally. Oh the guy finished peeing. I’ll just wait until he leaves the room then. Oh another guy just entered. Well, he doesn’t know anything so I’ll just pretend I finished peeing and hold it in for the rest of the day.
Look at the tiles and imagine the grout lines are an infinite grid of 1 ohm resistors. I wonder what the resistance is between two points a knight’s move apart…dammit I’ve been standing here for hours again
I always look at the smallest distinct shape at the wall in front of me (spots mostly do the trick) and start imagine shapes in it, like looking at the clouds. The world around me then just zoom out and everything turns liquid. Don’t even need drugs 😄 Though a couple of beers help immensly
The only solution that realiably has worked for years for me is to ignore the standing pee spots and just go the the pooper cabin and pee there. Done. Works every time. Sometimes it gets weird waiting for one to open when the standing pee spot is available but the alternative is worse.
Well. This comic certainly isn’t making it easier.
HEY @jerkface@lemmy.ca IS JUST HOLDING HIS WEENER
To be fair, a bar I go to has a picture box that has a bunch of comics pinned in it over the toilet that you can read while urinating.
I used to go visit a friend of mine often because we’ve always been close. This was all before the pandemic.
They kept a really clean immaculate house. Even the bathroom looked like it was cleaned almost on a hourly basis. They kept a little basket next to the toilet with trivia books and comics. I read them for years while sitting on the toilet … until I realized one day that these things get splashed with pee water every day … for years! … I never thought of it until several years had passed.