On anything.
I think putting over 10 years towards a goal and never achieving it means you should just give up
Cutting ties with family and moving out. Every apartment costs at least 20% more than I make monthly, a mortgage is out of the question after losing my credit last year, and working while living with these people is not sustainable. Every roommate is basically family but worse and there’s no way I’m moving out from living with family to live with someone worse than family. Even if I find roommates that aren’t nicotine or marijuana users, they’ll be something worse the minute I’m stuck with them. No one knows how it feels being the only person who doesn’t use that stuff, and being antagonized by groups of people withdrawing from it.
Ah, its okay to live with parents. I mean you might have other reason to want to move out, and I get that. People want independence, and that’s okay. But like in this economy, its probably not a good idea to try living by yourself unless you get lucky and find a high paying job.
If your parents are okay with you staying with them, you should stay. Because if you cant afford to live by yourself, then roommates are necessary, but then when you think about it, aren’t parents just like roommates? I mean you can think of parents like roomates that happen to be related to you. I mean, I have a relative that have a few of rentals as investment and their tenants are always either romantically involved, or roommates. Like nobody in this economy is really living by themselves.
TLDR; If your parents are okay with you living with them, then just accept their welcome. Not every parent allows their kids to live with them. Its not your fault, its the economy.
Edit: Well its also the housing crisis. Both the economy and housing crisis are to blame.
There’s no one answer fits all.
On life? Never. On your goals? Depends. On self-destructive behaviour? Now. On those you love? Never. On business ventures that don’t take off? You tell me.
Point is: life is rarely black & white. Treat it with the color and nuance that makes it what it is.
Why never on life, just asking. If it was completely ruined from the start, why not give up? If you spill ink over a painting, it’s ruined and you toss it out.
It’s practically impossible to fix a painting covered in ink. It’s never too late for a life to change.
No one has ever fixed their lives after 20. It only gets worse if you’re not rich as a teenager or popular online before then. Everything after 20 is just drug addiction and fighting. And even if someone manages to fix their lives later, it’s always in old age where it wouldn’t have mattered. Yeah… all that work and uphill grinding for one week of freedom, sooooo worth it.
Sure, life can be incredibly tough, and it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed at times. However, unlike a painting, life isn’t a static object. It has ups and downs, and even when things seem completely ruined, there’s always potential for change, growth and even thriving. I actually have a little experience with that.
Staying with your analogy: if you spill ink on a painting, you might see it as ruined at first. But some artists use those accidents to create something new and beautiful. Like so, life can take unexpected turns, and what seems like a disaster now might lead to new opportunities. I am the person I am partly due to troubles and disasters in my life. Could I do without those? Sure. Should I? Not sure.
That all said, if you’re feeling like ending it all I can only encourage you to reach out for support. Talking to friends, family, or a mental health professional in your area can make a big difference.
Your life is valuable. You are important and valuable.
You’re not alone. Definitely not with life. There are people who care about you and want to help.
The japanese philosophy of Kintsugi may help you look at things differently. Impurities are what make us all unique. Nothing in nature is perfect.
https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20210107-kintsugi-japans-ancient-art-of-embracing-imperfection
I’ve seen you struggling with existential questions a lot here. Are you going to therapy?
There are so many people who deserve it more, now why would I block them from receiving help, so I could be an even bigger burdensome waste of resources? Bruh, come on. My mother literally took food from a food bank that she didn’t need, made each family member (except me because I’d escape) do it and take 4 times the amount alotted to each household, to just NOT use. Literally wasting resources that someone in need could use. Why would I do that myself?
I’m just saying if your life was ruined at the start then it’s ruined forever, either continue living a ruined life or give up.
Hatte to be mister smarty-pants here, but empirically if your life was ruined from the start, your chances of recovery through therapy are actually much higher then for someone who ruined it himself/got Ill later on in life.
The thing is: finding therapy that works for you is a process on its own. You will likely have to try a lot of them to find a good one who has free slots. But you will find one eventually and if you have it does help!
Just one word of caution: go to to ones who actually have a Dr./major/magister in psychology and are registered doctors.
I hope you life in a country with good universal healthcare, if so you can just go to a therapist (they offer single sittings for cases like that) and discuss with him what kind of therapy could work for you and what the next address can be.
I am someone who is not religious and believes everyone should have a free decision if they want to live or not, but my galeart says: man, don’t give yourself up, especially not because of damage inflicted on you by others. All the best from germany
You are someone in need. You’re not sponging resources. These resources are there to be used by someone who needs the help. You do.
You’re also not your mother.
You are around 20 years old? Means you likely have many more ahead of you. I had a couple of massive twists and turns in my life. Some within, some outside my control. I know enough people who will say the same. You simply don’t know what will happen tomorrow. Anyone who claims to even know what exactly the weather will be like in two weeks is just not telling the truth, let alone what a human life will be like tomorrow or in a few years.
Keep going! You only have one life. You don’t know what’s coming.
I’ll say I’ve definitely struggled with the same feelings of someone else being in greater need than I am. And from my perspective, you are the person that deserves it more.
Have you ever thought about the first painful sensation a baby ever has? They have no frame of reference for it, and so in that moment it will have been the worst pain they have ever experienced. But to an older person, that same pain is probably just a pinch on the wrist. Does that mean that nobody should console the baby? Ease its pain? Maybe there are people in greater pain than you, or maybe you are the one in greater pain, and unless you have the ability to live another person’s experiences one-to-one, you will never know for sure. All that matters is that you are hurting. Don’t deprive yourself of help just because of some torturous hypothetical.
On life? If I have an extremely disabling condition to my mind or I can expect to die soon with a very low quality of life.
I don’t see addiction as being that disabling as there are a lot of available resources to treat addiction and a high enough success rate to try.
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then give up; don’t make yourself look like a fool.”
Can’t remember where I first saw that quote, but it stuck with me.
