(This is a throwaway alt for my main lemmy account because I don’t want to doxx myself. I’m an ally, and my daughter is transfem, but I understand I am not. If I need to remove this post, please let me know.)
Hey all
Early this year I came out as enby. The day I came out, I decided to do something with my mid-back length long hair to feel more femme. As I combed it and actually looked in the mirror for the first time in years, I saw I had thinning hair, looked with an additional mirror/my phone, and sadly came to the realization I had the first few steps of male pattern baldness. I can still ‘hide’ it by combing my hair back, using a small-tooth comb, etc, but soon I won’t be able to hide it.
To my surprise this caused me a massive amount of dysphoria, and I realised that I had only ever been ‘clocked’ as feminine due to my hair, so I had made the connection between the two. I can’t use the hair foams because they are toxic to cats and I would rather die than hurt my cat. I tend to react negatively to a fair number of medicines so the pill options are pretty scary, particularly with ‘permanent E.D.’ being out there. My doctor said I was a good candidate for microneedling/hair transplants, but those are far, far too expensive for me.
My male friends just told me to buzz it off and be done with it. My female/enby friends told me to keep it long for now and go back to my hairdresser when it becomes harder to hide.
I wanted to reach out to my transfem sisters and siblings to see:
Do if any of you had any advice for someone who feels at least part feminine, but doesn’t know what to do to be more femme when shaved headed, or like when to shave their head, etc? Should I just work on my makeup/earring/accessory skills?
Thank you so much <3
Forgot to say I am from Canada if that helps any.
Obligatory, I am not a doctor and this is not medical advice. This is just my own personal experience.
I’m also an enby with some hairloss, but up front instead of in the back. I’m currently taking finasteride, 1mg/day, and have been on it for 2 years now. As far as I can tell it’s stopped the hair loss. I was also really concerned about the side effects, but they’re particularly rare last I checked the stats.
The one side effect I dealt with was hives near the start, but after a week they stopped showing up and I’ve been fine since.
The nice thing about fin is if you have any side effects, you can stop taking it and they’ll go away. It’s very rare for them to persist after discontinuing use. If you do get finasteride, I recommend getting it through Mark Cuban’s Cost Plus Drug Pharmacy. I know this sounds like a shameless plug, and it kind of is, but their prices are really good: a 90 day supply, with shipping, is less than $15 total. Compared to, last I checked, about $45 for a single month from a local pharmacy.
I tried minoxidil over the summer which did help regrow some hair, but I stopped in August as I didn’t enjoy having to apply it twice a day. On top of that, it was a spray type and would travel down my hair, making it look messy almost right away, which I really disliked. That also led to it getting on parts of my skin where I didn’t want it.
The spray version also contains ethylene glycol which is a skin irritant and would make that area itchy and red. Though there are foam options that don’t contain it, so you could try that route.
I recently started dermarolling that area, but it’s way too soon to tell if that’s making an impact. It’s important to prep the skin if you roll it to avoid any infections/pimples. I wipe the area with isopropyl, then roll, wipe with iso again, then apply some kind of moisturizer. The skin will be red for a day or two, but I only do it once a week.
I’m considering doing a transplant, but I need to look into that more first to see what to expect.
Hopefully this helps! And if you have any questions, I can try to answer them.
Edit: typos
Oh, wow, so you’re already doing a large part of what I’ve been looking at, thank you so much for your experience and insight here :)
I am in Canada so I can likely get at least some of it through my MSP (‘free healthcare’), but I can’t do the topical medications as they are lethal to cats, and I’d literally rather die than hurt my cat.
I am not sure I can do dermarolling because I have eczema, and my skin tends to immediately freak out if I do anything like that. I do appreciate it though and will look more into it.
Have you considered microneedling? I saw a dermatologist who suggested I was a good candidate for it, but then he handed me his card where he does microneedling, which felt rather ‘convenient’.
Thanks again, I really do appreciate your response :)
You’re welcome! I remember the amount of distress my hairloss gave me and I’d rather no one else have to go through that.
I understand not wanting to go the topical route. I wouldn’t want to risk hurting a pet either.
I’ve thought about microneedling as I have some smile creases on my face that formed this summer (from what I read it should help with that), but I never thought about it for my scalp. I’ll have to see what’s available around me. From the little research I’ve done, it’s essentially the same as dermarolling, but even better since the needles only go straight in and out rather than go in at an angle, twist/rotate, then leave at an angle like the roller does.
If I go that route, I’ll try to keep you posted. It’s also nice to know that a dermatologist recommended it. To me, that gives it more credence.
Thank you, I really did not expect hair thinning to cause me to feel like I’m going to have a heart attack, yet here we are.
I see that doctor for a consultation on Dec. 17th, so if you’d like I can respond to this comment again after I see him. The issue for both microneedling (with stemcells, apparently?) and hair transplant is price. The microneedling is apparently much cheaper, but it’s 1000 per session, which is why I’m meeting him. I want to know the chances it actually works before I even consider 1000 on a single session.
Thanks again though, I appreciate your help <3
I dunno where you are, but you might be able to get finasteride (to stop hairloss) and minoxidil (to regain hair) from your GP or from a specialist that your GP refers you to. Another thing I’ve heard that might help is a dermaroller, but apparently that takes a long time to have any effect, and it probably works best with finasteride.
The only real way to stop hairloss is to deal with the cause which is DHT, a specific hormone. Finasteride/dutasteride are DHT blockers.
I haven’t used any of these things myself, but I’ve done some light research on behalf of my brother, and I’ve seen people discus these things before elsewhere.
Best of luck 💛 🤍 💜 🖤
Thanks for your response :)
My doctor and I discussed finasteride/minoxidil and one of the issues is that I have had (extremely) poor responses to a whole bunch of medications. The worry is that I will get one of the more severe ones given my past experience, sadly :(
Thanks for your response though, I’ll try to get another doctor appointment and discuss those drugs as soon as I can.
As @will_steal_your_username pointed out, there are hair-loss treatments, but they can’t reverse hair loss after it happens so you should act quickly if you’re going that route.
I’ve heard that feminizing HRT can also cause some head hair to regrow as long as it isn’t completely gone. But since you’re enby you might not want to go that direction. I think even a small dose can have a pretty big effect but I’m not sure, you should ask a doctor if you’re interested in that route.
You might also buy a wig. But I would seriously recommend not getting a cheap one because they always look bad, imo. It could be an option until you can afford hair transplants or whatever you decide.
Also, there are absolutely some women who experience baldness. It’s not as common as with men, but it happens.
I hope any of this is helpful!
Thank you for the response :)
My hair stylist actually mentioned HRT as a method haha so you aren’t the first. I’m honestly on the fence about it, which is surprising because I didn’t expect that from myself. I’m fine with most of my body, just not my hair haha. I will ask my doctor, thank you :)
I’ve heard from friends of mine that given how warm I tend to run that a wig would be tough, but yes, I am considering it. It would be a holding action, so to speak, definitely.
I understand other people could/might be fine if I am bald, but it’s more that I am losing a rather large focus of my femininity, and have to work around that. I mean that’s getting older, this is just more… extreme. I wish I had just gone entirely gray early, that I can work with.
I do appreciate it, thank you.
If you are considering HRT on some level then I recommend you check out this link: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/second-puberty-fem That website helped me a lot personally! It goes over the effects of E on your body
Hi, I’m also cursed with MPB.
You can get minoxidil (the active ingredient in the foam) as a pill from a dermatologist.
I am considering the pill form, am worried about the side effects. The list of drugs I’ve had negative side effects to is longer than the one of drugs I haven’t. :( But we can still try! Thank you <3 and I’m sorry for your loss as well. People are shockingly callous in person about this issue.
