How did it play out?

29 points
*

That basically describes 9 out of 10 times I try to make an omelette. I call the failed attempt “scrambled eggs with benefits” and they’re usually just as good as or better than the omelette would have been.

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6 points

I find it hard to mess an omelette up after the first few you make in life. Of course I load mine with more cheese and usually make it with six eggs and veggies so it’s just like a big thick pancake. All I have to do is slip the spatula under and fold over lol.

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8 points

I have to use the dairy-free cheese (lactose intolerant), so perhaps it doesn’t bind it together as well? I do know I used to be a lot better about not ruining it during the flip lol

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7 points

I’m also lactose intolerant. It used to be bad but now I can tolerate it.

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5 points
*

Regular “lactose free” cheese won’t be any different from an ordinary block of cheese.

All they’ve done is added lactase to the product. Similarly how they add bacteria to yogurt to make it probiotic yogurt.

Edit: but vegan and dairy free cheeses aren’t cheese and do have wildly different cooking profiles dependent on the goal.

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5 points
*

I can relate…I went to cooking school and now I have no problem making food for like 6+ people at a time, but when I try to make portions for just myself it’s SO much harder. Every little adjustment makes a difference.

ETA: I mentioned cooking school just because nearly all our lessons / recipes there were for like 15+ people. Not quite the same as having been taught in a home kitchen.

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3 points

It is incredibly hard to fold a 2 or 3 egg omlette in half in my experience. The fold ends up pushing even a small amount of filling out unless I get lucky.

I could see a much larger circle folding easier.

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2 points

It’s never satisfying to eat only two or three unless I am putting on a bagel or toast. That’s why I always eat six. Three or four slices of white cheddar or pepper jack, jalapenos, black pepper, a bit of milk, chopped onions, fresh baby spinach. Roll it up.

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2 points

Same here… I’ve screwed up trying to make an omelet so many times, I just gave up and started calling it “Dirty Scrambled Eggs.”

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7 points

I fail successfully every other day, it’s like I was raised that way

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5 points

Well if you fail, you always learn something.

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35 points

I accidentally broke up with a girl once. We had been dating a few weeks, and it was going OK. I was young and she was super cute, so I was ignoring a few red flags. This was early days of texting, if anyone remembers T9 Texting which was basically predictive numberpad texting. I forget the details, but she asked me about making plans for the weekend, and I was trying to write back “Oh Yeah” and accidentally selected “Oh Why” or something along those lines.

So she freaked out at me, made a whole big scene in public, dropped a bunch of insults, and never spoke to me again. As she was leaving, I was like, “But…” and she said “Save it.” and left.

I was with some friends who had been fully aware of the red flags, and they were all very supportive at every step. They thought I was going to marry her, and were planning an intervention. They were over the moon that I recognized the problem and ended it, and then gave me a ton of well-deserved shit for fucking it up with a text.

Later I met my now lovely wife and we have two beautiful children, so alls well that ends well. I still feel kind of bad for the mistake, though. Jess, if you’re reading this, my bad.

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12 points

Well, good thing you didn’t follow up with it was a typo. Lol. It still happens today with my wife, no T9 nowadays but fkn autocorrect, mannn…I figured out that there is a setting to change how aggressive the autocorrect is without completely turning it off.

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9 points

I have those generated quick replies and accidentally texted my wife “Good Job!” when she was letting me know that we had to transfer money between accounts to cover some bills. Like wtf auto-suggest?! How is that a “Good job” moment?

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25 points

After college, I was about 26 or so, and I was in NYC. I thought to myself, “Why not assassinate the CEO of UnitedHealthcare?” At first I thought I was alone in this and people would hate me. It turns out I’m a hero.

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12 points

Damn put spoiler text on this lol. Led me on like a gullible mf.

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8 points

Actually, we’re still waiting to see how it turns out.

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7 points
*

Luigiiiii be careful

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Mama mia! It’s a Luigi!

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6 points

It’s called doing a Homer

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