Hii,
I am a freshly cracked mtf egg.
TLDR at end
My parents are raging transphobes. Like the level of crazy where both are anti vax, one is flat earther, and I’ve had arguments with them where they claim that there are a lot of people out there who identify as a helicopter and people who identify as something they weren’t born as should be in mental asylums.
My youngest sibling won’t be an adult until 15 months from now and still lives in their house. I don’t know what my parents will do once I’m out, but I doubt it will be supportive and I’m sure it would ruin my sibling’s life. They’re immigrants who hold citizenship in another country, so leaving the US (“which infected me with the woke mind virus”) with my youngest sibling is quite possible. Which is why I want to pass in boymode until they graduate high school (may 2026) and can get out.
My question is, when do I start HRT and at what dose? Do I start low dose at x months before I want to be out? Do I start regular dose y months before I want to be out? I plan to move to a blue State in a few months, so I would be living in a different State for the last few months before my youngest sibling gets out. So I can make excuses and not go home and just need to pass over video call after about feb 2026.
omg, that was so so long. Feel like I had to get some of that off my chest. Thanks for reading!!!
Additional info to consider:
- My weight is about 25% of the way from the lowest normal BMI to the highest normal BMI.
- My natural voice is already androngenous and I’ve been called m’am on the phone many times, so any vocal changes will likely fly under the radar.
- My hair is receding, idk if starting a low dose earlier instead of an avg dose later would help me keep more of it?
- I would be 23 for most of 2025. I heard the body can keep developing until 25, so does that mean I need to start earlier to make more of that last stage of development go in a fem way instead of a masc way? Or does it not really make a difference?
TLDR: trying to pass in person for ~12 more months and pass over video call for ~18. Heard something (maybe myth?) that it would be better to start earlier since I’m still in my low 20s. When do I start and low dose or normal dose?
Hi!
I would suggest you take a look at the following two links:
The first talks about how to do diy hrt, and the second talks about the actual effects.
Hairloss will stop once the dht (a form of androgen/male sexual hormone) in your system is gone or useless (how long this takes varies depending on how you do HRT). You might see some hair come back, but there are no guarantees.
Starting now will indeed make a difference! Any further masculinization will stop, and you will start feminizing instead. Your voice isn’t really changed by feminizing hrt. If HRT is something you want, I would advice starting now. There are no benefits to waiting.
Your dosage will depend on how you take HRT. The typical routes are oral (avoid), sublingual (under the tongue), transdermal (through the skin), and injections. Each has a number of plusses and minuses, but imo the two best routes are transdermal and injections with the latter being the most convenient and cheapest route.
I am personally doing something called monotherapy with injections, which means I take a larger dose of estradiol (estrogen) which suppresses my bodies natural testosterone production without hormone blockers as they can have uncomfortable side effects.
How quickly you get noticeably more fem varies. It can take months for your breasts to start showing, but a loose hoodie can hide breasts for a long time. I’m almost a year in and only those I’ve told am aware that I’m trans. Other effects like a more fem face and body isn’t really something your parents will notice, and can also be easily hidden with a hoodie.
I also recently started a local HRT community where there are even more links and resources for you to check out!
OP may need a binder if she wants to boymode depending on how much breast growth there is. When I started HRT I boymoded at work, but that didn’t last very long because my breasts became quite noticeable rather quickly. Even with a baggy hoodie they are still noticeable, so it’s not a foolproof method for people who end up with larger breasts. Just want OP to be aware of that possibility.
Good point! I understand you have to be a bit careful with binders, and that use should be minimized ?
Hi! Why do you say to avoid the oral route for HRT? (I might start hrt soon so I am curious)
It’s maybe a bit much to say to avoid it completely, but oral is less effective than sublingual (by a lot) in addition to having a higher risk factor. You can typically take oral tablets sublingually as well, making the oral route even worse in that sense.
While I’m aware that sublingual requires a much lower dosage, and obviously oral has the disadvantage of liver strain from estrogen flooding, did you find data that actually empirically analyzes the feminizing efficacy of oral vs sublingual? Or are you just referring to the difference in dosage?
Community link that will work on whatever instance you’re on. Might not be federated yet, so please sub from other instances :)
I’d suggest starting a full dose as soon as possible for a couple of reasons.
First, people who know you are actually less likely to notice changes than strangers. So long as you’re not super close to them anymore, they might not notice that you pass as a girl if you aren’t being overtly feminine. Even if you stop being able to pass as male to the world, you might still pass to your parents.
Second, there really isn’t much benefit to being at a lower dose, as our body prefers to be dominated by one sex hormone or the other. We’re a bit less healthy at lower e in an e dominant system, or lower t in a t dominant system. There is wiggle room, but at the cost of numerous systems that function best in either sweet spot.
That said, e regiments start off at a tentative dose anyways, as that’s both safer for most meds, and how natural puberty begins. There are even arguments that starting lower has better results, but that science isn’t as settled.
You’re probably fine with starting out as is typical, especially since you’re moving away in a few months anyways. Even if you see rapid progress, you’ll probably be able to cover for the effects, especially in winter clothing. It also takes time to find a supplier or a doctor, whether you do DIY or informed consent. You’ll stop hair loss so long as you have proper testosterone suppression, and for that, you want to act quickly.
Start as soon as you possibly can to start neutralizing the effects of testosterone as soon as possible and to have your bones grow in a feminine manner before they fuse such as your hips.
There is some debate on starting with lower dosages or not and how that can affect transition. Every body is different. You will need to take a form of estrogen, this typically comes in tablets, patches, injections and gels.
You will also need something to block your body from producing or absorbing testosterone. There are a few types of drugs you can take for this. The most prescribed one in the US is spirinolactone. Some boards recommend waiting to start spiro and starting at a lower dose as there has been reports of it causing breast buds to fuse too early.
A medicine that you can start right away without having to wait and you can get from any doctor is finasteride. It can help restore your hairline and stunt any masculinizing effects you receive from DHT, a byproduct of testosterone. Once your testosterone is fully suppressed you can stop taking it as there won’t be any testosterone to convert into DHT.
Here is some light reading to help understand the process.
https://diyhrt.wiki/transfem
https://diyhrt.market/transfem-hrt-guide
https://transfemscience.org/
https://transcare.ucsf.edu/guidelines/feminizing-hormone-therapy
You should probably consult with a doctor before messing with hormones.
My hair is receding, idk if starting a low dose earlier instead of an avg dose later would help me keep more of it?
Unambiguously yes. I implore you to start HRT as soon as possible if for no other reason than this alone.
Congrats on the egg crack and I’m so fucking sorry to hear about your parents. But, what you do with your body is your choice and only your choice. Coming out to them, if ever, is a totally different hurdle than taking medication that makes you feel better in your body.
I was so scared of taking HRT at first too, it feels like such a giant step. But my only regret was waiting as long as I did. Just a shade under three years now and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. Physical changes are one thing, and slower than any of us would like but holy heck are mental and hormonal are it’s own bliss!
If you can go to a doctor and get blood levels first, that would be for the best. They will start you on a lower dose that builds up. But, having said that the majority of trans women are on 200mg estradiol and 100 mg spironolactone each twice a day. I hope you do not have to go underground to get your medication, but I urge you to not delay. You’re future self will thank you. If it eases your mind, just remember the vast majority of changes will stop AND revert if you decide to stop taking HRT.
