I have most of the big details sorted, but because I am going to be new in the country aside from a few family visits and one business trip, I have far from expert knowledge on living in the UK. I try to research as much as I can, but there are limits.
These questions are going to probably be subjective, and some may be dependent on where we’re going to live in Britain long-term, something I can’t tell you until I get a job, but I trust people on Lemmy more than some random Google search to tell me what they actually think.
So, here are my 20 questions- although some are really multipart questions- and I will probably end up asking more based on what I find out. I felt like 20 was an exhausting enough number. They are not in any particular order, I had about 8 and then I kept thinking of others and stopped trying to organize them. Please feel free to answer as many or as few as you like. Assume we won’t be getting rich off of my salary, but also won’t be living in a council flat.
- Which mobile phone company would you recommend and why? Getting a UK phone number for both me and my daughter is going to be one of the very first things on my itinerary.
- Obviously, I will need a place to put my money. I would rather go with a building society than a bank. Which would you recommend?
- Which supermarket(s) would you recommend? Which should we avoid and why? Believe it or not, my daughter is happy to eat the cheap supermarket sushi they have in supermarkets here. Is that available there?
- What should I think about when getting us a GP? I have health issues and need to get a National Insurance number as quickly as possible, but should I wait until we have a more permanent place to live? What are my options there?
- My daughter is a 14-year-old neurodivergent lesbian who has no problem letting people know exactly what she thinks and also likes to go on long tangents about esoteric subjects that interest her, which makes it difficult enough for her to find friends in the U.S., but I have no idea how she’s going to find friends in the UK. She will hopefully make some in school (it’s sure as hell been hard for her here, and it’s going to be hard on her there being foreign), but I’d love other suggestions on ways she might make friends in the UK that might not be a way in the U.S. She is super into Japanese stuff, but slightly off Japanese stuff, like obscure anime and electronica bands from the 1970s and 1980s, although she also loves punk rock and Hello Kitty 🤷. She also is a very talented artist and spends all day sketching in sketchbooks and on her iPad.
- This is going to sound really stupid… do I just carry around my passport or how do I show ID if someone needs it? I’m not going to have a driving license.
- What difficulties do you think I might encounter trying to rent a flat or house? I really don’t know how the process works in Britain. In the U.S. they often do a credit check and you provide first and last month’s rent, plus a security deposit. Utilities are not always included.
- Once we get settled, is Ikea the best place to go to get furniture (I don’t find what they have to be all that comfortable), or are the similar affordable options?
- How about house wares? We care much more about utility over aesthetics, especially when getting established. I’d rather have cheap, durable plates and bowls and pots and pans than pretty, expensive ones.
- And how about clothing? I do not care at all about fashion, I just want decent clothing that will look appropriate at a job. Obviously, I have plenty of that already, but it will need to be replaced eventually. Where do I go for cheap and durable over expensive and fashionable?
- Are ISPs as dependent on where you live as they are here? We have very few options available and they are entirely geographically dependent. ISP recommendations would be great. I would especially love an ISP that didn’t have data caps.
- If I watch everything on a monitor via my computer, do I still need to pay a TV license fee or do I only need to play it if I want to use iPlayer? How does that all work? I definitely will not have an actual TV for a while.
- My daughter’s absolute favourite breakfast treat is going to a diner and getting corned beef hash. Is that a thing over there? Is there an okay breakfast place to take her to so she can have it once in a while?
- I’m guessing this is a no, but if anyone knows of anywhere in the UK that serves decent Mexican food, even if it is just somewhere I can take her to as a weekend treat, please tell me. That is her absolute favourite kind of food in general. By “Mexican food,” I mean “the shit they call Mexican food in America which isn’t really Mexican food” (you might notice I’m not a fan), so you would have to be familiar with both in order to answer this.
- I have been looking for a long time and I just haven’t found anything good- does anyone know a video or series of videos I can show to my kid as a basic “life in the UK in the 2020s as a teen” primer? I try to tell her all that I can, but it’s not like I can tell her what it’s like to be a teen in the UK in 2025. I was last there as an adult in the 2000s, before she was even born, and Britain was already a noticeably different place from the last time I was there in the 1990s. I mean I know she’s going to make a lot of cultural faux pas, but it would be nice to find a way to minimize them beyond me telling her things like what “pants” means in the UK and that “cunt” is not thought of in the UK as the horrific word it’s considered to be in the U.S.
- This is just something I’ve been wondering from job ads: when they say “casual dress,” what do they mean? In the U.S. that means you can show up in a T-shirt and sweats. I don’t want to make my own faux pas there.
- If we end up having to move to Wales- I am interviewing for a job in Swansea this week- it’s my understanding that my daughter will have to study Welsh in school. Does anyone have any experience moving to Wales with a teenager who is suddenly put into a (what I assume would be very remedial) Welsh language class? Any advice there?
- I basically never carry cash on me in the U.S. at this point. What might I need to carry it for there or is it also unnecessary?
- Do UK institutions care about your US credit rating?
- I hate Marmite. Is that still a capital offence?
For the first couple of points (and loads of financial stuff in general) check out Money Saving Expert. It’s a pretty comprehensive and well-respected website which will explain how a lot of UK financial things work as well as highlighting good deals and providing tools to compare other services.
Aside from that, IKEA is great, licence fee is just for watching any live TV or any BBC iPlayer (but don’t be afraid of the scaremongering letters), and while some people will say “cunt” in every other sentence it is still the worst swear we have and if she calls someone a cunt at school then she’ll probably be in deep shit!
You’ve had a bunch of good answers but I’ll chip in with a couple of additional thoughts:
Three. If you’re not planning on driving then location will probably determine where you shop more than almost anything else.
Six. I haven’t shown anyone ID in over a year. Apply for a provisional driving license as soon as you can and that will be fine for any need. Keep the passport at home!
Twelve. Channel 4 is also a beneficiary of license fees so you may need a license if you watch that. But as others have said, the TV License people have very little power to actually do anything.
Thirteen. I’d guess there’s, at most, a dozen restaurants in the entire UK which will serve what you would recognise as a corn beef hash. So break that bad news to her sooner rather than later. There are places you can get a good breakfast (and a gazillion pubs and cafes and restaurants where you can get a full English/Scots/Welsh/Irish). Many places will also do American style pancakes) but, otherwise, cooked breakfasts will not be a taste of home.
Fourteen. Equally you won’t find much ‘proper’ Mexican. You can find crap Tex-Mex places in most cities but I’ve only been to one Mexican restaurant (in London, not open any more) that was anything like as good as Mexican restaurants I visited when living in the US.
Sixteen. Jeans or chinos paired with a shirt (not a suit shirt but also not a Hawaiian shirt), plain t-shirt, polo shirt. Shoes or smart sneakers. On day one I’d go chinos, shirt and shoes then dial down depending on the culture of the office.
Eighteen. Cash free is easier here than in the US. I haven’t bought anything with cash in over a year. If you have a cell phone with Apple Wallet or the Google equivalent, you can pay for almost everything anywhere using that.
Twenty. Meh. The whole ‘love it / hate it’ thing is an advertising slogan. Some people like it, others don’t, no wars are fought or lives lost over Marmite. You’re more likely to get into a fight if you pronounce scone as scone.
- There are coverage maps by different networks, so check them for where you’re going to live. O2, EE, and 3 are probably the main decent networks—a lot of other networks piggyback on their transmitters and may be a good price too, but make sure you’ll get good enough signal where you’ll be. You will get good enough signal in most places with any of those, but they do have some bad areas and you don’t want that to be your home or work!
- I like Nationwide, which is a building society (largely due to ethical reasons but they also have a better high street presence than most banks).
- Supermarkets do have sushi. There is a hierarchy of quality/cost. M&S is very expensive and sells all own brands. Waitrose is fancy and can be expensive but their veg does last better and the food is higher quality, plus they do have their more basic range so it doesn’t have to be ridiculously costly. Both Tesco and Saintsbury’s are decent, usually are either huge or little local stores, and like most have a basic range. Morrison’s are similar to Tesco and Saintsbury’s. Iceland focuses on cheap and frozen goods. Aldi and Lidl are pretty good, a bit of a random selection at times but cheap for what you get.
- It’s fairly easy to move GP, so long as you find one that has space. I don’t see a downside to getting one ASAP.
- That’s a rough age to be different, and it honestly depends on the location as to how easy that’ll be. I’m afraid I don’t have any ssuggestions other than look into clubs and activities outside of school to give her a wider net.
- There are CitizenCards that can be used, which is safer than potentially losing your passport. In the past people have got provisional driving licences for the purpose of an ID, which could work too.
- Utilities are often not included and you should only need a deposit (around 1 months rent). Protections are better here but you can still get screwed. Make sure the deposit is in a deposit protection scheme, and make sure the state of the place is properly documented (they should do this as part of an inventory but make sure it’s accurate). Look up your rights to avoid being swindled.
- IKEA is good. Second hand is more of a gamble but cheaper. I know many use FB marketplace, but eBay and Gumtree are both options too.
- IKEA is one of the better options for basic but decent housewares. Supermarkets often do some stuff too.
- M&S do some basic but decent work stuff that is more affordable. I believe the quality has gone down a bit but they are still better than most that I’ve found.
- They are a bit for fibre but not for regular broadband, though that is changing. Some rented places don’t like you to change utilities, so it may be easiest to stick with what’s already there.
- I believe it is for iPlayer but you’ll find good articles online for this.
- Corned beef means a different thing here—I believe what you call corned beef is what we call salt beef. Getting breakfast out is less of a thing here but there are decent “greasy spoons” (cafés that do good fried breakfasts) in most places.
- Taco Bell has started to exist in the UK but it’s not exactly good. There are some but you’ll have better luck in bigger metropolitan areas. We have different cuisines here due to the difference in historical immigration, so hopefully you’ll find some stuff you like there too.
- No idea, sorry.
- It depends. Start off with smart trousers a shirt and you can always dress down from there. Hopefully you’ll get a sense from interviews. It might even be a good question to ask during an interview, as it shows you care and are willing to fit in.
- No, sorry.
- Some public toilets require a few coins, a pound is used for unlocking trollies (shopping carts) at some supermarkets, but most places don’t need cash. Some places do prefer it though, so I like to carry a bit (£10-20 plus coins) with me just in case.
- It is less of a thing here but I suspect it’ll be relevant for loans, mortgages etc.
- Oh fuck, I guess I regret typing all of this now, you heathen (honestly, it’s polarising here and I like it occasionally but don’t love it).
I didn’t mean to go through all the questions but I got carried away, so hope thay helps!
Everyone has done a cracking job of the questions, so all I’ll add is:
ISPs:
Most ISPs are nationwide.
Almost all fixed lines have no data caps.
If you’re in a standard area, go with a provider that costs a little more, but have good customer service, and know their arse from their elbow.
Zen are good imo. https://zen.co.uk/
If you already know your address, their site will check what you can get, and how much it will be.
If you get a friend to refer you, you also get a £25 love2shop voucher.
Fixed line contracts are usually for 12-18 months.
You can get one month ones (give me a shout if you want them pointing out), but you may be better off with a 5G dongle for short term accommodation.
Further detail:
Most ISPs use the same physical wires/fibres owned by OpenReach, or an altnet, which go from your house to the nearest exchange.
You normally cannot speak to the wire/fibre provider directly, any maintenance request has to come from your ISP.
So if there is ever a problem, you’re relying on the ISP doing the legwork. So good CS is critical, imho.
You pay the provider, they pay the cable owner to get it to them, then provide the backhaul.
There are some area based exceptions, like single-provider fibre.
And there is also Virgin. But I wouldn’t go with Virgin.
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It depends on where you end up as the signal strength in the areas you frequent will dictate this to a degree. If you’re in a city or large town then generally it’s down to what you decide to go with, but if you’re more rural there may only be some providers that offer a decent signal. Best to ask the locals what they use.
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Nationwide is one of the larger building societies and one of the more mainstream banks over here too, so always a safe bet. A lot of banks and BS don’t have that many local branches now though, and more are closing every month - that’s not necessarily an issue, as the online services and apps for them here are far better than in the US from what I gather.
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I already answered this one in a reply to someone else.
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Most GPs have catchment areas so see who the local ones are to where you end up living.
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I think schools are a lot more receptive here than in the US to this sort of thing, but someone else may be able to provide a more detailed answer to this.
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A lot of places won’t ask to see it unless you’re buying booze or other certain age restricted things like knives etc. There’s a scheme over here called “Challenge 25”, so if you look obviously older than that you should’t get asked in supermarkets and the like. I’d certainly look at getting a driving licence though, even if only a provisional one so that you can leave the passport at home.
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More or less the same situation here - they may ask for references but when you explain your situation they should be understanding enough, albeit you may need to put down more of a deposit. Any deposit should be placed aside by the letting agent or landlord into a tenancy deposit scheme, be wary if they don’t mention this as it’s a legal requirement afaik. Utilities and council tax (property taxes) will not be included unless otherwise noted and you will be expected to get accounts set up after moving in. Take photos of the meters when you do so you can provide the readings to the companies.
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IKEA is a good starting point, but you can often find cheaper through second hand means (charity shops, Facebook marketplace etc). Bear in mind that your closest IKEA store may be a fair distance away - 20 miles here is not like 20 miles in the US due to our less car-centric road and town layouts and close quarters in urban areas.
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Any of the big four supermarkets offer a range of home wares (Tesco, Sainsburys, Asda, Morrisons). Morrisons range isn’t as good as the others though. Also dependant on the size of store.
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Charity shops are a start, Matalan is a good dedicated shop. Again the big four supermarkets have options, with Morrisons yet again trailing behind the others in terms of size of range offered. Primark is good and cheap enough too but can be limited size wise. A lot will depend on what size you are. There’s a lot of online retailers here that will have it posted to a collection point for you.
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Most ISPs will offer something everywhere, but what speeds you can get will depend where you are. Some lSPs are fibre only, which will need them to already have lines in the area (Virgin Media is one of these) or for special equipment to be installed at the house (which most if not all housing stock built in the last few years should have unless the area doesn’t permit).
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Strictly speaking if you’re watching anything live (I.e. if it’s being broadcast as you’re watching it) then the BBC would like you to have one - a lot of people don’t though and will ignore the letters that come through the door. If you get easily stressed at official looking letters then probably best to pay for it, but I’m not going to tell you one way or the other here.
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Not as big a thing over here, though I’m sure there’s places that do it.
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Taco Bell is starting to make inroads here but is only really in the big cities at the moment - otherwise it’s very much down to if anyone has opened up a place that does Mexican food near to you. Chiqitos is another brand to look for, at least near me.
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Someone else may have to link this.
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Business casual is always a good shout - nice dress or trousers/blouse for women, trousers and polo shirt or just a shirt and jumper/sweater for men, no need for a tie and such nor a full suit. Best to play it by ear and see what your work colleagues dress like.
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This will happen, but by experience it isn’t really a bother if your daughter doesn’t pick it up well. Almost everyone in Wales speaks English and with you having an accent they’ll be more considerate of you.
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Once you have an account open you can just carry a card or use Apple Pay/Android’s equivalent. We’re very much moving towards a cashless society here, although having some on you can be handy for situations or places where they are unable to accept cards.
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I doubt it, you will be a blank slate here I’d imagine, but you should be able to get a basic credit card if you wish to have one. We’re a lot more debit card based over here though, most banks current accounts will provide a debit card.
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Personally I’m not a fan of it so no problems here! You may get some light ribbing though, all in jest.
