She ate something she shouldn’t have and it’s blocking her intestines. She has to have emergency surgery tomorrow morning and this is all my fault. If my house wasn’t such a disaster, she wouldn’t be in this mess.
I honestly don’t deserve my pets because of this. I can hardly take care of myself. Idk why I thought pets were a good idea.
You discovered the problem in time, and you took her for prompt veterinary care. You absolutely deserve your pets!
The only thing more aggressively suicidal than a dog/cat is a human toddler. It’s impossible to stop your pets from getting into everything.
My cats have eaten more than their share of plastic, mainly because my natural state is “wasn’t there something in my hand a minute ago? Where could it be? And what could it possibly have been?! Ooh look I see snacks!” Luckily they’ve always horked it back up, but I worry that one day they won’t puke in time.
So, I try to be careful not to set down plastic, even going so far as to mutter, “Don’t open your hand. Go to the trash. Do NOT open your HAND. You are going to the trash. After that come back and <finish the thing>. DO NOT OPEN your stupid HAND! You are going to the trash can. Then go back and <finish the thing>. But first the trash can. But DON’T open…” and so on, for the entire time it takes me to throw the thing away and (ideally) return to what I was doing.
It takes enormous effort to keep the house perfectly safe. Making housekeeping my hobby didn’t work well for me. So instead I know my pets and their normal behaviors, keep a good pet insurance policy, and call the vet when there’s anything weird that’s taking too long to resolve.
You’re giving your pets a much better life than they’d have at the shelter. So, yes, you DO deserve them, and they deserve you.
That sounds very stressful, I hope your dog recovers quickly and that you’re not too hard on yourself.
This happens to the most neat-freak dog owners too; dogs can find bad things to eat while on a walk, or by chewing something they shouldn’t.
Being angry at past you also won’t help future you or your dog. Figure out a way to improve things instead, preferably something that doesn’t rely on you never making a mistake.
I don’t know your situation, but perhaps you could have someone help you, or have friends over regularly so you’re motivated to tidy up, or make part of your house dog safe and keep the mess contained?
“Idk why I thought pets were a good idea” … because you deserve to be loved.
This way of thinking only serves to punish yourself and does nothing to actually help your dog. Dogs get into stuff they shouldn’t. The thing you were supposed to do is exactly what you did, get them to the vet when you realize they are sick. You have no way of knowing what life your dog would have had without you. Some people get dogs and deliberately abuse them. Some neglect them and leave them to starve, chained up in the yard. Some let them wander off-leash and get hit by cars. Some take perfect care of them, and the dog still gets sick from congenital issues or simple freak accident.
You cannot undo the past. You can only do your best to be there for your dog now. Let the vets do their work, and trust that they want her to get through this just as much as you do. And I hope she does get through it. It’s out of your hands now.
What you can do is assume she will come through it and plan out how to give her an even better future. If a particular part of keeping house is difficult, ask a trusted friend or relative to come over and hang out while you work on it, and remind you what you’re supposed to be doing if you get distracted or lose steam. If something would be easier to do with a specific tool, buy that tool. If you can keep the mess localized in one part of the house, buy a toddler gate to restrict your dog’s access. Get a set of clothes that are your ‘cleaning suit.’ Wear it when you clean. If you need to clean, put it on. Wash one dish. Pick up one piece of litter. That first step is the hard one. Make it easier on yourself.
You can’t rewire the human brain, but you can plan around it. Make an effort to try and do a little better, and forgive yourself when you fall short. Piling negativity and blame onto yourself may feel perversely correct, even righteous, but it doesn’t actually solve the problem. Be pragmatic in the extreme. Meet yourself where you’re at, not where you think you ought to be.
I believe in you.
I have a very tidy house yet my puppy is always finding stones and bark in the garden to chew on (despite having plenty of other toys). They love it, nothing you can do to stop it.
