I had a drum that was stored on a huge wardrobe and was pretty unstable. One day, as i opened the wardrobe, the drum fell on my head. I laugh about it today because fortunately, the wound was not as severe as i though at first.
Most recently: My white cat was drinking water and my orange cat decided it wanted to attack it, my white cat screams as usual which triggers my dog to go nuts and wants to play as well which causes both cats to run. My white cat runs through the kitchen and jumps on the bench knocking over some containers we had drying out, the containers falling freaks my dog out so he starts barking at nothing in particular, meanwhile my orange cat runs down the hall and goes to turn and go up the stairs but slips (vinyl flooring) and slides into the wall making a loud thud.
This all happened in a space of like 20 seconds, while my family and I are sitting in the middle of it all eating dinner - absolutely perplexed at what just went down.
Every moment, Existence is some cruel joke.
Working at Dairy Queen when I was a teen. I was cleaning the soft serve machine and forgot to depressurize and drain the machine before i opened the front up. As soon as I loosened the last bolt it exploded gallons of chocolate and vanilla soft serve ice cream. In an instant, the entire mall food court was sprayed in a fine mist of soft serve. Once I wiped the ice cream from my eyes and realized what just happened, I looked around and there was a perfect outline of my silhouette on the wall behind me.
Reminds me of a guy I knew who was in the navy on a “boomer” (nuke missile) sub. The toilets on it had special pressurization systems to force the contents out into the ocean when underwater. Well you had better follow the instructions if you used them, part of which involved closing a ball valve before flushing. If you didn’t do this the pressurization would force the contents back up at the flushee resulting in “blowing shitters”. Since you had to clean up your own mess nobody made this mistake twice.
Stepped on a rake, smacked me right on the forehead. More plausible than you might think.
I saw a cop pull up and park illegally to go into a Dunkin donuts. It was like seeing a political cartoon in real life.
Childhood memory from Munich: We’re sitting at a table eating breakfast when a patrol car parks right outside and two police officers exit (you know how they look in their Bavarian uniforms, boots, belts and all), they’re both in the prime of their lives, tall and strong, walk straight up to the counter and say nothing more than a good morning before a breakfast spread magically appears on the counter before them, with two Maßkrug of beer. The police officers devour the breakfast and down the beers faster than I can breathe, before they say a simple thanks and go out to their car and drive away. No visible payment. My little brother and I just looked at each other, both knowing that we had just seen something one doesn’t see every day.
These little bribes are very common in the US. Shops/restaurants give cops free food/drinks to stay on their good side, and so the cops will “patrol” the area more.
I gave the small town police a dunkin gift card for taking the time to drive up to a trail head parking lot in the mountains, in the winter, and pick up my expensive crampons that I had left there. I figured they didn’t have to do it for some forgetful tourist. They said “no no” to the gift at first but I insisted.
