I’ll start.
My then gf and I had a chihuahua that just happened to be the most tiny and most diva and most clever little dog I’ve ever met. Tiny, incredibly cute, extreme ego and confidence, a terrible piercing bark and had some wild mood swings on top. He’d go from cuddly to nuclear warfare in a second of something displeased him. He was the eldest and the leader of his little pack and he kept all of them wrapped right around his paw running a little dogmatic terror state. But he took his responsibilities seriously and was always up in front if there was a threat to them. Be it an angry German shepherd or a double parked electric scooter. Nobody messed with his pack - except for him, obviously.
Our little beast was very well aware of his cuteness, and his craving for adoration knew no end. He’d be walking down the street next to me, obviously refusing to yield for anyone, and as we pass some café tables, he’d throw himself flat on the ground, legs pointing in all directions. We called it that he did a doormat. The intent was to throw us under the bus as his keepers so that he’d maximize the aahs and oohs and attention went compliments from the people sitting in the café.
But this is just the backstory. He was vain, and we knew he was clever, but also of this is still learned behaviour with a previously verified outcome.
No, what really set it apart was that one time we were at home, the entire couch occupied by humans, dogs, and generally not him in particular. He was strutting around, being grumpy that others had taken his rightful seat, and nobody would disappear into nothingness for his approval. Not an uncommon thing, but he has plenty of other comfy spaces to be, communal and his very own. We know if we lift him up now, he’ll try force some other dog down just because he wants space for himself, and we weren’t having it. The other dogs were there first today and it’s their right as much, so tough luck bud.
After some time, I notice him staring into the lights off bedroom. He looks at me, turns back to the bedroom and just keeps staring at it. I tell my gf that he is staring into the void and it seems to be staring back at him. We watch him as he keeps staring at nothing.
By now he is an old dog and has already shown signs of deterioration. I ask him what’s up and he shows some signs of anxiety, tail down, tapping feet, mild whimper. I call for him, there’s nothing there, come to daddy. No response. We figure he’s lost it now, the creeping senility we’ve suspected is real.
So I keep talking to him, calming him, approach to turn on the lights and show him around that there is nothing there. He stands eagerly waiting, full focus on me as I come closer. Then - tail high, he runs as fast his tiny legs can carry his body, to the seat where I was sitting, barking at my gf to be picked up into the couch.
And it dawns on me. It was all a ruse! He came up with the clever plan to lure me away from his desired spot. If he acts anxious I’ll get worried and get up, freeing up a vacancy on the couch, and then it’s a fair race who gets it first. His smug posture standing in my seat was what gave it away. He was not anxious at all, he was not afraid, that I’m not anthropomorphizing but that he knew exactly what he was doing.
A multi step sequential plan with a clear goal in mind that he came up with from no be prior training. If that is not intelligence, I don’t know what is.
My pig is a trip. Smartest animal I’ve ever been around.
He had never seen the front-porch gate removed nor had I ever seen him test it. He knew it was a block he couldn’t resolve.
Removed the hose clamps that hold it to the pintles. Pig walked up took a look, stuck his nose under it, lifted the gate and cruised right out, just like he’d done it 100 times.
I feel like I would have to point out how the clamps work to a non-mechanically inclined human. Homeboy didn’t study it at length. He noticed what was different and instantly understood the implication.
My parents dog. There were two of them. The older was almost blind at this point, but the young one was smart. She was taking care of the old dog most of the time (like barking so he knew to come back in the night for example). Once the old dog had a bone to chew. She barked at the horizon as if a cat was there, so the old dog run to it barking. She immediately stop barking and take the bone for her.
Now she’s older and the old one is no more. She manipulates my parents now. To get carried instead of walking for example.
Not genius tier but my Dolly loves to look out of the window when in the car (she’s fastened to an isofix safety belt on the back seat). Once we get over about 30mph whoever’s driving will close her window as it gets really noisy. Occasionally we will forget to open her window when we come to a 30 zone again so she has learned to open her window by herself.
Our Golden taught himself medical alerts. My wife broke her ankle when he was 6 months old, and the little glue puppy who followed me when I gave her meds started to let her know ahead of time that she would need meds, and even proactively bring her pill bottles.
Some refinement let him proactively stop mom from overdoing it, so he’s been instrumental in her recovery and PT.
Then like six months ago he started giving me pain alerts from no where when I was feeling ok. But invariably, every time he did, 30-60 minutes later I would get a headache. So now I just listen to him and my bad headaches have dropped to almost zero, because I’ll take some coffee and NSAIDs when he alerts.
He also broadly gets the concept of “pills make people feel better in a little bit”. He’ll stop alerting for about 20 minutes if you take pills (or pantomime taking pills because you’re busy or something). Then if you faked him out he’ll alert again in 20-30 minutes lol.
He’s one of the smartest dogs I’ve ever met in the “cause and effect generalizes to X” sort of way. (He also is super confident and pretty sure that the world is made of sunshine, rainbows, and friends so is conversely really dumb in risk assessment, like will fall off the bed because he’s sure he’ll be caught kind of way)
I watched my Pekingese figure out a problem and use tools.
He wanted on the table where we were setting up for Thanksgiving. The table was stock full of delicious smells. Pekes are shaped like fat egg rolls with flipper feet. There was no way he could jump that high. But ohhhh… He wanted on that table. He just sat there, like a chubby kid staring at an unguarded cake three balconies above him.
After driving himself mental, pacing in place, whining, he sat down and started looking around, thinking about his plight. He saw a spare dining room chair we brought out to accommodate guests. He passed the usual heavy oak chairs to this cheap, IKEA spare chair. He scooted it with his face towards the table. He’d stop every so often, to see how close it was. He was gaging the distance.
Then, at the proper distance, he hopped on the chair and onto the the table before I grabbed him. It wasn’t so much “NO PUPPEH MAH PAHT PIAH!” but I knew he’d grab a slice of meat too big for him and choke on it trying to swallow it before I got it from him.
Later, I gave him his own plate with dog-appropriate and safe food on it.
But my Peke was now another tool-user in my house.
