This reads a bit like satire. Really good satire!
The “girlfriend-zone” is a word im stealing from this…
Oh, it’s definitely satire, making fun of “nice guys” who complain that they’ve been “friendzoned”.
The horror, friendship!
but I’m NICE! How couldn’t she love me?
Congrats on meeting the bare minimum of being a decent human, fucko.
Also so often they aren’t nice, they just think they are.
But for real. Wash frequently, groom yourself, get out of the house, and start making platonic friends. From there learn to flirt. Oh also, acknowledge the reality of how attractive you are and while it’s totally cool to shoot above your range, accept that you’re probably going to get someone similarly desirable to you. Oh and get your mental and emotional health under a certain level of control, emotional labor is part of a relationship but so often I see lonely people seeking codependency.
I was once a weirdo loser who couldn’t get a partner, and anyone who can’t do the above needs to take a good long look at why and resolve those issues. If you can’t be happy single a relationship won’t make you happier, they’re more of happiness multipliers.
Hopefully as they age they realize the friend zone never existed and these people either never saw them as potential mates/dates or they did and the guy did something to change that.
Eh i would say the friend zone absolutely exists.
My wife tried to friend zone me early in our relationship. She wanted to date around and still be friends with me. I told her that wasnt ok with me because i had stronger feelings for her than that and id be miserable. I cut ties.
A few months later she asked me on a date out of the blue. I spoke my peace that to me, this was a real date. Well, that was almost 13 years ago and we just had our 9th wedding anniversary
She’s being too nice.
It’s the Fuck Zone,and too many guys put all the women in it who aren’t in the Mom Zone or the Bitch Zone (and there’s some overlap there).
Do what I do: Be fat and ugly. Not only will you not be in the girlfriend zone, men will go out of their way to make sure you know they “don’t see you that way” regardless if you were interested or not.
Yey to us fat chicks! for real when I was super fit and beatiful having friends was hard, even at work! Now that I’m fat I’m much more relaxed, have a nice mixed (men and women) group of friends and don’t worry about bosses wanting to fuck me
Edit: Also I want to add 2 things for the younger ones:
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A bad relationship is worst than no relationship
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If you are not happy and confortable by yourself you’ll never be happy with someone else
I don’t think I’m fat and ugly but I did start putting out mad lesbian energy (I’m queer but not strictly into any one gender) and men now just think I won’t be into them either way so they just talk to me like a human. To think of all the friendships I lost to shitty guys in my 20s when I could’ve just said I was gay the whole time…
Meanwhile I had the opposite problem. Lots of friends that happened to be girls. Then they find a partner, and the conversations, meetups and discussions fizzle away, especially if I stop initiating contact. I then learn years down the line “oh yeah I had such a huge crush on you” or “I’da fucked your brains out” or some other combination. And then general blaming for me not “making the move” like no shit, I treated you as a friend. If you wanted that, just say it openly please
So many opportunities are passed by on both sides because of this miscommunication.
Men hear women’s don’t want you to go in with the expectation of anything other than friendship, while also expecting men to know their subtle hints that they are interested so they can come off feeling more desirable.
Women on the other hand don’t trust most men because of what they see around us, their past interactions with men, and for the above stated. They don’t want to feel like just meat for the dogs.
If both sides would be more open instead of all of this beating around the bush, I feel like most people would go in with better expectations and maybe even better experiences. All because they were open and honest from the beginning.
Just my thoughts, as I’ve been in both positions before as a teen, and definitely regret not being more open with the people I was interacting with!
Unbridled proof that young single hetero-males and young single hetero-females cannot just be friends.
Most of my friends are women and I’m a hetero male, guess were not friends then?
I am a 40 year old man and I have multiple lifelong female friends.
Sure, I bumped into the problem of a one sided romantic interest a few times in my life, but I have lifelong platonic female friends.
I also have lifelong female friends who I have slept with. The stars aligned to make it happen (like both of us going through a breakup) but we knew it wasn’t going to be anything else and we talked about it and never mentioned it again. That’s a rare, rare, rare thing though. It probably could have developed into more if we had wanted the same things, but we didn’t and we discussed it.
It is possible. I’m living proof.
Hell, I’ve shared beds with some of these lifelong female friends and nothing happened. We’re still friends today. I got lucky and landed a woman who trusts me and doesn’t question my intentions because she knows that I wouldn’t cheat on her for all of the gold on the planet.
One of my lifelong female friends is a bit odd though, and she always messages my wife to let her know she’s about to contact me before she does. We’ve both told her she doesn’t have to do that, but she’s a very pretty woman who is used to making jealous women suspicious.
I mean sure. It’s a bit more to navigate at times but it is doable.
I have an opposite problem. When I (I’m a guy btw) was in school, I sometimes just want to have friends but whenever I talked to girls, I worry that girls would just think I have some other motive (which it seems to me like every boy in my class do just want romantic relationships). Like maybe I’m asexual/aromantic, but I never wanted those types of relationships, I prefer a long lasting friendship.
(I don’t have much friends either way, regardless of gender; current amount of friends is: zero; because I just stopped talking to people after highschool, oh well 🤷♂️)
I (straight male) always found it easy to connect with girls, but I was also raised in a very feminist family (despite my mother being nominally conservative).
Dating is a lot of work and vulnerability and an attempt at ‘clicking’ on many more levels than friendship. It definitely wasn’t that I wasn’t interested in dating (I very much was), but ‘Gorl fun AND pretty’ just wasn’t enough to automatically spark my interest in romance. ‘Gorl fun’ meant possible friend; ‘Gorl pretty’ was most girls, because girls pretty.
I got spontaneously voted the most handsome boy in the class when I was in 10th grade though. Always burnished that particular memory on the Altar of Ego.
God, that final bit. I was a resident assistant for my dorm in college for a year. Didn’t date anyone that year. Had plenty of crushes, including plenty from the dorm. At the end of the year, my coworkers (female RAs) were like, “yeah we were all so surprised you didn’t go out with anyone, like, half the girls here were in love with you.” And I just stared into the middle distance, “and you didn’t think to tell me???”
“We thought you knew!”
“I DID NOT”
How were you supposed to know? If half the girls acted the same then how could you know that anything was afoot?
Was your grandma allowed to vote, and how many times did she vote? I kid ;)
I ended up marrying my best (girl)friend from high school. We both went into it wanting friendship, were attracted to each other (while in relationships), and ended up getting pushed together by a mutual former friend.
I honestly think this was the best way for this to develop, because we were already close and good friends before we dated, and didn’t try to make a relationship out of it.
Hey, as a flavour of aro ace myself the feelings of not wanting those types of relationships and not knowing specifically took a long time to figure out. If you want to talk about it, you can DM me or come over to !asexual@lemmy.world or !asexual@lemmy.blahaj.zone there are slao aromantic communities on lemmy as well.
That was pretty much it for me with a few different female friends. It wasn’t so much “hey you’re hot and I wanna sleep with you rather than just be friends” it was “hey, I really enjoy spending time with you and I’m happy being around you, but I’ve been down this road before and I know it probably ends when you get a new boyfriend so… maybe I can be that boyfriend and we can continue to enjoy spending time together”
This a premium shitpost. I fucking love it
Hits too close to truth to qualify for a shitpost. And I am saying that as a man, observing…
Who says satire/shitpostery can’t cut close to the bone? The best ones are the ones that make us evaluate ourselves under a critical lens.
I don’t dispute the point for satire, but shitposts never struck me as being concerned with reality… Maybe I just misunderstand the genre.