I had morphine at the hospital once. It was like a blanket woven with fibers made of love, calmness, and warmth. I would love to feel that again, but not a good idea. I can easily understand how someone can get addicted to opiates.
First time I took amphetamines, it felt like a buzzing I’d had in my head all the time was suddenly gone and I could actually enjoy the quiet for the first time.
It was so great that I swore never to take them again, cause I knew I’d want to take them every day and get addicted.
10 years later I was diagnosed with ADHD. Turns out amphetamines just let me feel what it’s like without symptoms for the first time.
Now I do take them daily (but at a much lower dosage).
My kids are convinced I have ADD, and are probably right, but having used amphetamines recreationally and enjoyed them too much I am afraid of the meds. I told the one still at home to hide them when she asked if I wanted to try the Adderall.
How is this going for you? I don’t feel addictive in general, but speed? Oh my that is some good stuff.
Typically if you have ADHD then stimulants just make you feel “normal”. Like, when I take my meds it just helps me stay on task and focus on what I want to focus on.
My non-ADHD friends who have taken the same meds recreationally have said they feel euphoric when they take them, which I do not get at all. For me it’s just like… Strong coffee? (Then again, maybe lots of people are euphoric when they have their morning coffee?)
All this to say, get a real diagnosis, because there’s a real chance that you don’t have ADHD. Lots of other disorders can cause similar symptoms (e.g. chronic stress, generalized anxiety). Stimulants really fuck with your sleeping patterns which is absolutely terrible for yor health.
If I could hold a job without my meds I would probably stop taking them. I recently had to stop them temporarily due to another health issue and within 2 days my insomnia was gone and I was feeling healthier than I had in years. Yeah, it’s been a lot harder to live my life, but I had forgotten how good a nice, deep sleep feels
Same. It felt like heaven and you just felt perfect all around. And that was just a dose of pain relief. I tried LSD last year which i enjoyed, so i‘m sort of open to try new drugs in a controlled environment. Opiated however, never. I was lucky to experience it in a controlled environment like the hospital to realise this drug is not for fun, it will make an addict of you.
Yep, dangerous stuff. I once had some minor surgery done. Afterwards I was sitting outside in a patient waiting room in a bed waiting for the drugs to stop working.
I brought my laptop and watched some episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm. It was hilarious and super comfortable.
I can never do that again, it’s obviously super addictive. The medical professionals are right in being really strict when giving out opiates in my country.
Apparently people’s responses in this situation are a good indication of their vulnerability to addiction in general.
Anecdotally it makes sense. I’ve had morphine multiple times (after accidents) and found it meh. I certainly wasn’t asking for more. It so happens that I hardly ever drink and I’ve never done drugs of any kind or even wanted to*, despite having no moral objections to them and being around a ton of people who do them all.
*Okay, except psychedelics.
I think it varies by class of drugs (edit: and how they interact with your personality). I’ve used opiates and benzos before and enjoyed myself without feeling like I’d really care to try it again, but I definitely flirted with disaster/addiction with stimulants for a decade plus and alcohol for my entire adult life.
And it didn’t take long; the first time I tried any stimulant, I chased it (and I’ve tried a lot of them).
Psychedelics, on the other hand, I love and in most people there is little to no danger for addiction. I’d go so far as to say that unless you have a family or personal history of schizophrenia, psychedelics are almost a must for understanding or coming to peace with life, death, and society.
A good psychedelic trip is literally life-changing, and even a bad trip is life-changing if you go into it with a decent trip sitter and the attitude that a bad trip is still just showing you yourself and the things you need to work on.
If you told me I had a week to live, I’d do everything in my power to obtain clean heroin to find out what that’s about.
I think of heroin addiction as a yes or no question. I’ve tried it and it was nice (same with other opioid meds I have had to take) but some people, they try it and it’s like they have never been whole before that point, or never been without pain - if it “fits” like that you will miss it so much. It was not that for me. I can’t find the high in pot at all, either. I think it’s a genetic difference, not a psychological one.
I did love the sleep you can get with morphine, that soft pillowy comfort. I don’t want it all the time but it would be a great way to die, and it’s great very occasionally, like once every five years.
I think it’s a genetic difference
I’ve read that alcoholics have a higher release of dopamine than non-alcoholics when they drink. I don’t know how that’s measured or how true that is, but it makes sense to me that something physiologically different is happening.
I’ve also had reduced effectiveness of party drugs when I was on meds to treat bi-polar.
Oh hey I was just about to comment that the one time I got morphine in the hospital it absolutely did not make me feel like this. It didn’t feel like anything except “thank god the pain stopped, now I can rest.” But it didn’t make me feel good above my baseline and I was about to wonder if something was wrong with me? Now I just feel lucky.
Weird. I’ve gotten oxy for a surgery, and it was just meh. Didn’t make me feel tired, didn’t really do a lot for the pain–which wasn’t really that bad–def. didn’t get me high. OTOH, I’m allergic to at least one opiate, so IDK.
I got dilaudid in the hospital after surgery and thought “Hah! What can this tiny pill do?”. Well within minutes I was in a fetal position on a cloud. My wife said I was the nicest I’ve ever been. lol
Yah, I can see the addiction potential there.
Damn, is that one supposed to be that good?
I got some a few months ago. It took the edge off the pain I was in, but I was still far from comfortable. I also had access to a fentanyl drip later, and I don’t really like the feeling of that either. I pushed the button like maybe 3 or 4 times total over the next week, even though it was probably the worst week of my entire life.
Morphine and laughing has have me curious, though. But I guess pain meds just aren’t my vice. Knowing how dangerous opiates are makes me way to nervous to enjoy anything but the lack of (or really just reduction in) pain.
All alcohol is fucking terrible, bar none ever.
Weird to me how 2 of the most popular addictive things just make me feel gross.
Weed though gives me a better version of the alcohol high with absolutely none of the downsides. Never had a hangover, but I would throw up almost every time and had an annoying headache that wasn’t debilitating, but hard to dull.
I’ve never done opiates, but that sounds kinda like just the right amount of alcohol and weed. It’s a tough needle to thread, but I have fond memories of nights drifting off to sleep perfectly content, perfectly warm and comfortable. The brain is tingly and fuzzy, the body almost feels like it’s on the edge of vertigo, in a cozy falling-twisting sort of way; like sinking into an impossibly soft mattress that just keeps going. Warm but not sweaty, calm but not numb, everything exactly as it should be.
Hearing “Highway to the Danger Zone” at a piano bar. It was request night for tips, where the requests were ordered by how much the tip was.
Most of the tips were $1 to $3. I laid down Highway with $5, mostly as a joke.
What I got was a panio cover made up on the spot, and it was the best version of the song I ever heard. Will likely never hear it like that again.
I’d like to be able to raise my children again. I think I could do better.
It’s a constant fear of mine. That I’m not doing well enough. I actually lie awake at nights and that’s not something I normally do. But I know that I can’t do more than my best, I’ll make plenty mistakes, but so did my parents and I turned out fine. As long as you give all the love and support that you can. They’ll be fine. There’s not much else you can do, honestly, they’ll have to find their own way anyhow
They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself.
-Philip Larkin
The most depressing pessimistic view of humanity ever penned. In a nutshell, “You can only make things worse, kill yourself.”
I agree with Katrisia, it’s a never ending cycle. It’s also an exercise in futility though, Too many uncontrollable variables.
As a son… I see it as my parents probably tried to improve what their parents did and it may not have turned out how they would have wanted the intention was good. I hope my kids will also see that even though it wasn’t perfect I tried to improve what my parents had done. The last line I hope some people take seriously. Enjoy your life without kids, parenting is difficult and will bring a life of hardships… But it’s worth it if you put in the effort as long as you know you can’t make the perfect person. No changing your mind once you start. If you do go out for milk and never come back then the poem was true.
Looking out over unbroken old-growth tropical rainforest as far as the eye could see. It was beautiful and gave me hope for our slowly dying world.
Flying with my father. Flying was his passion and I only ever got to ride with him once. Sadly, he passed several years ago and I’ll never get to go up with him again.
