I’m an older transguy and “pass” very well but I’m considering detransition due to the dangers of the world. I’m in the US and it’s no secret that trans people are being targeted. I’ve been considering if it would be worthwhile to stop testosterone, don a wig, and play dress-up as a woman until this trans witch hunt is over.
I’m solid in my identity, not depressed or panicked. I’ve been in many dangerous situations in my life and know how it feels to make decisions strictly for survival. I know I can withstand detransitioning temporarily or permanently if needed. Not being on T and dressing a certain way won’t make my identity any less true or valid.
I’m at the age where I really don’t care what my outer appearance is or how people perceive me as long as I’m safe.
I could use some feedback from the kind folks here, especially any older transguys.
Disclaimer: no part of this is meant to imply that there is a right or better path for my other trans bros, sisters, and siblings. There is no right way to be your true self beyond what you deem it.
I’m not trans but I am gender non conforming. I don’t think you’ll be in better shape. I was attacked back in 2013 for being perceived as trans despite not being trans.
You’ll be in the same boat. If anything, pass harder?
(Btw don’t mean any offense about “pass harder” but like grey man that shit? I think trans men tend to fly under the radar about what chuds care about)
I hate that I keep seeing these posts. I’m so sorry you are not feeling allowed to live your own life happily and in-harassed.
Thank you. Honestly my life has been so difficult that this feels like no big deal in comparison. I’m certain that I could “pass” (hate that term) as a cis woman if necessary.
If you get mistaken for a trans woman that might be worse for safety. I guess it depends if your threat model says the law or random people are a larger risk.
Nope, that’s not how this works. Being even more visibly gender non conforming, especially in women’s spaces, puts you in a lot more danger. And if you’ve already jumped through the hoops to change your documents, you’re going to draw more attention changing them back - and if the absolute worst we can imagine happens we might not even be targeted in the first round, in Texas when Abbott started compiling a list of trans people he looked at document changes in the past five years. I’ve been on testosterone nearly as long as you have, and the changes don’t just reverse like that.
From a trans woman’s perspective (mine), I think you’d be better off remaining and presenting as yourself. Both from a practical safety standpoint and a moral standpoint. Much of the legislation is targeted against trans women currently, so trying to present femme after going through such a long masculine transition will likely get you put in that bucket and put you in more danger. From a moral perspective, you should not have to hide who you are.
I think it’s very valid to want to stop for safety right now. I’ve thought a lot about that too. Maybe you had the chance to be you for long enough, that you forgot just how terrible it was to hide before? I am not a passing trans woman, and although it’s terrifying, even the worst days like this are better than most of my good pre- transition days.
Either way, make the choice that’s best for you. We all have different degrees of support available and are facing varying degrees of threats (I’m in a blue state for example). Please be safe. If you ever need to vent or talk, consider my DMs open.
