No matter what you use, it seems they always fail and no one is interested.
Even a free app like duolicious has this problem.
Profit is gained by engagement.
Engagement is the opposite of solving the problem.
So an intermediate platform is not a working solution for dating.
Best interests of people looking for other people and the intermediary are in direct contradiction.
Duolicious? That owl has been busy, I see.
Dating apps are SUPER saturated now. Didn’t used to be like that way back in the beginning. OKCupid was cool because it was free and had no limitations. Bumble is one of the better ones these days, as far as I’m concerned.
Sorta related, if you’re really interested in using them and are a straight cis person I highly recommend trying them out from the other side. Create a more or less generic account of the opposite gender and see what kinds of messages, likes, or whatever you end up with. It will be mind boggling how different it is from what you are used to and give you an idea of what you will need to do to actually make a match.
I think apps and websites where you can see everyone without limits or algorithms are fine. Apps like those still exist. They are just like social networks with no gamification.
So I don’t think it’s the apps, friends. If it hurts no matter where you touch, maybe it’s your finger that’s broken…
I generally hate thinking like this, but ultimately, as with everything, there comes a point where it’s actually beneficial and probably the only healing move left, to admit that the problem might be in one’s self, not others (or the tools used, as in this case).
But that does not mean that the metaphorical finger is inherently fragile or unavoidably always broken. Just realizing this, as much as our psyche fights against it both to avoid admitting fault or conceding that there’s a lot of work to do, can start the processes to get the finger working and healthy.
I also don’t like how often this line of thought is turned around and used as a weapon, when it can actually be very hopeful and healing after the initial struggles trying to accept it (and failing to do so, defensively fighting against it with all your cells for a good while).
Well put. And let’s not forget that society is in many ways against us and expectations are high. Are you fit? Do you have good hair and teeth? Do you already have children? Are you in finance? Etc etc. And this is true in apps and irl. So the only thing you have control of, is accepting yourself, loving yourself, and growing for sake of yourself. With some luck, you grow into someone that someone else also loves.
I almost rejected someone that was truly into who I was as a person. I almost shrugged it off as them just being horny all the time. It’s almost scary to find someone that actually likes us and all our weird quirks.
