I don’t usually ever talk about things like this, especially to strangers and I will probably delete it eventually but….
I’m 21. And from like age 8-20 I had a problem with stealing. And it was not because I necessarily needed to but I would usually just take candy from stores. Only time I took something I actually needed were some batteries and a phone charger but nothing beyond just that. I also took money from my classmates lockers and I even once almost took someone’s iPod, but I was so afraid that I ended up giving it back the next day. But what’s even worse is the fact that I have taken some of my brother’s birthday/Christmas money that he keeps in a stash. Rough estimate at least $250. Could be less. And yes I do feel horrible about it all. And I wish I could go back in time and have never done it to begin with. Fast forward to now I have successfully fought off the urge to shoplift because I know how bad it can be for your career if you get caught. I’m currently a full time college student so I don’t work. My dad gives me a certain amount of spending money every week to kind of help me. And I have been putting a bit of it back in my brother’s stash as restitution. And no I haven’t told my brother because we do have a good relationship and he’s one of the closest people to me. I appreciate any advice. Feel free to call me a pos as well.
Edited Update: thanks for the advice and support. So basically after going back and forth about it I decided to tell my mom pretty much what I told this thread. I didn’t go too deep into detail in terms of listing every single thing I took but I told her enough to know what’s going on. Surprisingly, she didn’t get angry about it. Disappointed, yes. But I know she was glad I told her. She reminded me in her humorous fashion that she “reserves the right to get mad.” So this weekend we plan on going to the bank to get money out of my savings and give it to my brother. Right now, he’s at school in a difference city and won’t be back until Spring break. That’s when I plan on telling him and giving him the money and will offer to buy him lunch afterwards. I do feel better now that my mom knows but the mission isn’t accomplished until my brother knows. Like I said, him and I are fairly close and we rarely fight over anything besides petty stupid stuff, so I don’t know how he will react. Prayers and good luck would be appreciated as well as any additional advice.
Something I’ve heard in different ways goes something like this: A young man wanted a bike so he prayed to his god for a bike but never got it. So he stole the bike and prayed for forgiveness.
You already know the answer to your question. The (rhetorical) question now, is what will you do going forward?
Okay I don’t have any advice except this:
If you have to steal, please only steal from big corporate chain stores, not the small bussiness.
Also, be careful, cameras are everywhere these days.
I’m not judging the act of theft, just where you steal from. Please only steal from the rich.
Edit: Btw, I also really want to steal stuff… just because…
The only thing stopping me is the legal punishment. I hate the rich for what they’ve done to society and I’d love to steal, it makes me happy.
I already do a lot of digital piracy. I feel so good. Its a victimless crime. 🏴☠️
Also, spread theft around… A guy in Lowes was telling me they don’t try and stop thieves until they rack up $10k of stuff so they can hit them with a bigger charge. Said they are using facial recognition and tracking that way now. Might have been full of shit but my dystopian mind thought it plausible.
I’ll tap in for Brother Bear!
What are you trying to solve here beyond indulging guilt? Your last sentence is outright asking to be told you’re bad. If you want validation or excuse for that you can go to confession or seek diagnosis (which might fairly fit into your plan, I’m not judging).
You say, “If you steal from someone … saying sorry doesn’t do much for me because if you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.” I hear, “avoidance”. Apologies are promises, commitments, and covenants, not regret and remorse. Simply Feeling Bad is the relinquished barfly’s philosophy and doesn’t accomplish much but prolonging the bad feeling.
Talking anonymously online or in person can be a healthy start to validate and work through both the stealing and the secrecy, but growing beyond those releases all The Stuff so you can exist honestly and authentically with your pack.
You gotta talk to a psych and get diagnosed
if you are really worried about it have a session with a mental health professional. Kleptomania is a type of OCD and can and should be treated
I heard about kleptomania but I don’t have the desire to steal as much as I did when I was a kid.
Yeah, but I’d aggree with MissJinx. Lots of teenagers occasionally shoplift. But stealing a significant amount of money from your brother is imo defintly a big red flag.
Still, going open with it is a really great step imo. But I’d also say, that if you ever again feel that urge, professional help would be a good idea.
Doesn’t hurt to talk to someone about it, maybe you’ve aged out of it, maybe it’s slowly manifesting itself in a different way, there are professionals that can tell the difference.
Nobody is going to hold a young adult accountable for minor things they did as a child, especially not a psychiatrist. It’s better to get checked when you have the awareness that something night not have been right, because when things are very wrong you won’t have the desire to get checked.
