Recently had to move back to my apartment cause I broke up with my bf. To start MOVING IS IMPOSSIBLE for many reasons, please don’t even ask.
Was hoping for a fresh start with the psychopaths who live below me. I did everything possible to gaslight myself into thinking it was all just a big misunderstanding and that there was hope to repair our relations.
Basically the first day, I had ptsd from before. I tried my hardest to tip toe the entire day, and to never walk quickly so that I don’t bother them (dress despite hearing them stomping and walking aggressively).
The entire time I am on edge because every time I make the smallest noise they counterattack it, doesn’t matter if it’s an accident or once per day. So basically my body and mind is always in a state of fight or flight, bracing itself constantly for a reaction.
Even then, I had to listen to them being noisy af. At one point I tried to turn on my tv on THE LOWEST VOLUME and it wasn’t in response to anything they did. They immediately but some vibrating device on and it kept buzzing it sounded like a drill but it was just a ceiling vibrator and I recorded it. They stopped since then I think they realized it’s too obvious or they could only use the plausible deniability to confuse it with some dude that was renovating for 5 minutes.
After 3 days have passed of living here, I’m realizing there seems to be no winning.
Basically their rules are, that they can make as much noise as they want, but if I make the tiniest noise I will be punished.
Not only that, but they also attack unprovoked. I feel like they are genuinely trying their absolute hardest to get a reaction out of me, it’s like their hobby or something. The third day I put my earplugs in, and even when I was COMPLETELY SILENT LYING ON THE COUCH FOR HOURS, they started escalating and they dropped a really heavy object to the point where the whole apartment building vibrated. They also hammer all day at random times including quiet hours but they do it really quietly, to the point where it’s legal. Like its enough to drive you literally insane.
They also randomly aggressively stomp and they also do stuff to imitate me. Like if I read something funny and laugh (im not obnoxious) right after they will slam stuff or stomp aggressively. Keep in mind I literally laughed once not like I’ve been annoying them 24/7.
Now everyone will try to gaslight me but there’s a lot more that proves they are doing it on purpose, and I’m NOT delusional or imagining things.
Is there actually nothing I can do? Like I don’t even think sueing them would help cause they’re not gonna move out.
I just don’t get why they’re doing it. I’m also worried about them framing me. I feel like most people in the apartment have already turned against me cause I’m the only foreigner who speaks with an accent here.
For example, once I tried going to different floors to see where the sound was coming from, and 2 different people complained immediately and reported me saying I’m “creepy” and “invading their space” and need to stop immediately or they’ll call the cops (I was a 26 year old girl at the time)…
They immediately threatened they would have a meeting with me and the property manager and the other 2 people to have a “talk” with me
I just don’t know wtf to do anymore and I don’t understand why I’m the target of everything
It’s an apt: shared walls, shared noise. The only way to avoid this is to move into a home that doesn’t have shared walls and even then you’ll have noisy neighbors.
Be as loud as you need to be within reason.
Don’t worry about how loud they are, and ignore any retaliation until someone talks to you about your noise levels.
Consider wearing slippers indoors.
Consider buying a rug.
It sounds like you have a psycho living beneath you and they have one above them.
First, you should probably lessen with the therapy speak. This is a personal thing but the commodification of therapy is actually a huge problem that we should talk about. But I digress.
Second, maybe clarify this up a little bit? Are these people your roommates? Your upstairs neighbor? Downstairs? Next door? I genuinely don’t know who you’re talking about.
But (I’m assuming these are your up or downstairs neighbors?) I had a buddy who was in a similar situation where even the microwave beeping would cause the upstairs neighbor to thump on the floor. He just had to complain to the apartment complex a bunch (basically every time it happened, as it happened) and eventually they got it sorted. The upstairs neighbor stopped being annoying and moved out shortly after.
In an apartment you will hear your neighbors and it’s unrealistic to expect them to be perfectly silent all the time.
To me it sounds like you may be assigning motives to things that aren’t as evil as you perceive. Just live your life and be a normal, respectful level of loud. You’re going to hear your neighbors in an apartment. Accept it and move on. Unless it’s past quiet hours and affecting your sleep I don’t think there’s much you can do, practically.
Are they confronting you in person or something? Have they said anything to you or do you just hear noises?
I lived with someone like op described.
He was my father in law and I had no other choice than to suck it up for years. When I left home, he transfered his insane behaviour to his own daughter, who eventually went no contact.
Nobody would believe me, he was so good at making me look like the problematic teenager (good fucking riddance, François).
Some people ARE motivated into making a living hell for you. I know it is hard to even imagine it, because most of the time we live with (to some extents) reasonable people.
But these borderline psychos exist and often target those who are hardly believed by others.
Anyway, my advice to OP is as most said on this thread: document everything, up to the hour of occurrence.
Edit: forgot that post was about neighbors downstairs and not a roommate
Go on the offensive, record every sound they make, catalog every interaction ,aggression,etc in a journal.
You live above them, you have the advantage in any sound based battle.
If they make noise record and report and then follow up on each of your reports. Call the leasing office every fucking day until its resolved.
