I am quite good at talking to people. But I want to step up my flirting game. So what are some relatively “safe” ways to flirt?
This isn’t really answerable in a forum discussion, as it all varies too much depending on circumstance.
I guess the basic idea is to make someone feel good and wanted without going overboard and coming across as any sort of creepy. This is a fairly fine line, though, and where it is fluctuates wildly depending on the person, situation and expectations of the moment. You’re also juggling body language and tone in addition to your words, so really anything can be made flirty, or go overboard, all depending on recipient/mood, delivery and circumstance/timing.
The first thing I’d probably start thinking about is how to identify the times and individuals where any flirting will be welcomed, which is also going to vary quite a lot. Dates are a pretty safe place to start, for obvious reasons.
The other people in the thread provided some solid advice that included some loose examples. It’s a tough thing to go into detail on without writing a book half full of caveats though. I don’t want to try recommending a method or anything, because there kinda is no method to it. That I can think of anyway, that will be any sort of consistent.
I don’t endorse much of anything in The Game by Neil Strauss, but for the discerning and critically-thinking mind it can provide some useful advice for flirting unawkwardly.
Started? I think the culture was already there and well established. The book just shone light on its existence to the mainstream, and yeah, probably accelerated its growth.
Edit: the irony being it was, kind of, trying to help involuntarily celibate men to figure out ways to be less celibate through seduction (vice even less moral, and more illegal, means).
Edit edit: a far, far worse book is The Professional Bachelor by Brett Tate. Anyone who ever wants to taste their own vomit should give it a glance.
Low-stakes banter and attention and see what is reciprocated
For a while my go-to move after leaving a restaurant with a date was to say something to make us both laugh, and then put an arm around them and squeeze a bit in a friendly way.
If they lean into it, keep the arm there, physical contact makes it much easier to flirt.
If they don’t lean into it, just let go and drop it for now. It’s easy enough to brush off as a friendly gesture.
I also found that it’s generally very sexy to actively make it easy for the other to say no. The easier they feel it is to just shut things down, the easier it is for them to keep exploring where things might go.
Offer a piece of cheese
