I think it’s that you don’t feel older mentally. I though I would feel a certain maturity once I reached an age where I had a solid, advancing career and owned a house. Turns out, I feel pretty much the same and am just better at dealing with things that arise and pretending that I’m mature. My body hurts more and my face looks older, but I don’t feel all that different. I’m sure I’ve mentally changed to some extent, and I notice it more when I talk to younger people, but I still feel the same.
This. Still feel and act as I did at thirty. This is going to get sad eventually.
So far nothing like my ‘parents’ thankfully.
I used to think this. I was in my late 20s but still felt like a teenager in my head.
At some point in the last few years, after I crossed into my early 30s, I realized that wasn’t true anymore. I don’t feel like a teenager, I just feel like a 20 something now. Which is still incorrect but there’s definitely been a shift.
Maybe it stopped because when I’m around teenagers, I realize how much distance I feel from them. Not in a “kids these days” way, just in a general sense. A feeling like “…oh…I’m not like this anymore. I remember being like this, I still kind of am, but I haven’t really been like this in a while.” The juxtaposition is so evident that my unconscious self-perception can’t maintain the denial.
I certainly don’t feel my age, but my “internal age” (so to speak) has progressed a bit. I guess it’s a sliding scale.
I’m in my sixth decade. It’s not bad. Finally not giving any fucks at all. It’s a sliding scale.
Being Gen X is pretty good.
Enjoy.
I think that you don’t even notice yourself maturing because it is so gradual. It comes very slowly with life experience. You don’t do something impulsive or you handle an emotional situation a little better or you make a difficult decision that younger you wouldn’t. I think back to even just a few years ago sometimes and think “What a fuckin idiot that guy was”. Sounds like pretending to be mature is almost the same thing as being it
I don’t really feel different or more mature or smarter or something, but starting to notice just plain… I dunno, experience? Like I see an 18 year doing something stupid, and I know it’s stupid because I did the same thing.
Thankfully, I also still realize just how useful and appreciated my advice will be, so I keep quiet.
But yeah, the BIG generational gap I’m noticing is that I’m okay with playing. Like, gaming, rpg, boardgames, larp. That’s cool with my generation and the newer ones. But for the vast majority of 50+ people, admitting that you like having fun is anathema for some reason.
Like I see an 18 year doing something stupid, and I know it’s stupid because I did the same thing.
It’s weird becaude I never identified with any of this. I never did anything wild and crazy in my teens and so I’ve never understood when people excuse wild and self destructive behavior as “they are just teens and they’ll learn”.
I don’t mean to say that I’ve always been more mature than my peers (my humor is very crude and immature)…just that I have never understood being impulsive and reckless, even as a teen.
It’s very common for teens to be impulsive and reckless because they’re basically biologically programmed to be so. It’s not something they can control, really, it’s something they’re experiencing. If you didn’t go through that, it’s all good, probably safer frankly, but it’s not like people are aberrant for being reckless while maturing.
But yeah, the BIG generational gap I’m noticing is that I’m okay with playing. Like, gaming, rpg, boardgames, larp. That’s cool with my generation and the newer ones. But for the vast majority of 50+ people, admitting that you like having fun is anathema for some reason.
I’m in my 40s and noticed that as well. People 10 years older than me (now in their 50s) have been telling me I’m too old for games for over 20 years now. I kind of feel bad for them, like they just missed out on being able to enjoy games. Personally, I’m looking forward to LAN parties in the nursing home.
Preach. I just turned 45 and I’m finally starting to physically feel older, but mentally I feel better than ever. I had a lot of mental issues due to being raised in an abusive household and I finally buckled down and got a lot of therapy. I’m not 100% and never will be, but I’m 90% and fighting for more every day. It’s great, feeling like I actually have my shit together.
Talking to younger people, people in their twenties mostly, is a bit depressing, though. I’m so out of touch with their culture and I don’t know where to even start to get caught up. One lady offhandedly said something “slaps” and I had to ask if that’s good or bad. Ughhhhhhhh.
This hit me more than a decade ago but the realization that nobody really knows what they’re doing. Most people wing it their entire lives.
This one, everyone is winging it, and hopefully you get enough smart people in a room together they can come up with a solution.
Cooperative smart people. (someone who works with a lot of uncooperative smart people, smarter than me at least)
Don’t. I manage smart people. Divide the territory up. Getting them to work together at the edges. People are territorial, smart people are harder because they can give good reasons why they should get more territory. Everyone has their zone of control and everyone is happy.
Also reminder: it is almost always better to have someone in pissing out vs out and pissing in.
How fast time passes. Years pass very quickly now and the view of the end is approaching faster than I would like.
You didn’t ask for advice, but please consider journaling or writing a personal blog. I find that the time passes faster because I have fewer novel experiences as I get older. If I put a dedicated effort into remembering what was unique about my recent days, it feels like I live more of them.
Each time period (week, year etc) is a smaller proportion of your life.
Anything that happened when I was much younger can’t be resolved easily to the nearest year, unless I can identify a specific immutable event like a specific birthday.
I’ve found making playlists based on music releases from each year helps with this… for me I can almost immediately remember a year or time period just by hearing a song
Quite a few tracks - does one say that anymore? - I am convinced are 1980s are actually 1990s. I’m Gen X so I should be getting that distinction right!
Mentally, I still feel like I am the same person as back when I was a teenager, until I actually meet some real teenagers and thought “oh, they are a bunch of children.”, and then “wait, was I actually as immature as them when I was a teen? That’s not the way I remembered it.”
Exactly! When I was younger I wasn’t that immature and stupid… Thinks back to when I was younger. OH! Shit. Yes I was.
The toll of core life events. Having a child, taking care of elderly grandparents/parents. I thought it would be easier. Not easy but “he’s not heavy; he’s my brother” kind of easier. Maybe it’s me, but it feels like I’m constantly running on empty. Caregiver burnout is a real beast.
Yes, being someone’s caregiver can burn you out in ways you didn’t know you could get burnt out. I’ve had the unfortunate experience of being in two end-of-life care giver situations for immediate family in my life and I still haven’t fully realized the complete toll that has had on me.
I’m constantly telling my wife that I feel like I’ve been in emergency red alert mode for the past year and a half and the idea of another child just frightens me. You want to do this shit again? This has been the worst experience of my life. She keeps saying the next one won’t be special needs but I’m good, no more kids for me, divorce me and marry someone else if you need to do that.
