I am also willing for you to go to jail.

And I’m guessing the judge also plays racquetball or something.

182 points

“If I lose to [Joe Biden], I don’t know what I’m going to do – I will never speak to you again. You’ll never see me again.” —DJ Trump

“I Am Willing to Go to Jail”

The master spinner of lies and deceit shits out just another lie.

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32 points

He’s a tease, never delivers the goods. Well, he did get fastfood delivered to the White House that one time. Food orders taken, food orders delivered.

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2 points
*

DJ Trump - “Master Spinner of Lies and Deceit”

I can’t help but read that like it could’ve been the name and motto of some alternate universe DJ that can’t stop scratching those discs in the club.

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2 points
*

I can think of maybe one way to get him to actually go through with it. Have NBC get in contact with him. Tell him they want to do a new season of the apprentice. Apprentice Reikers island.

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137 points
*

I’m down for seeing it. I’m betting he will sob like a fucking baby.

“But he has a Secret Service detail! It can’t be done!”

Sure it can. Solitary confinement with a Secret Service agent right outside the door in rotating shift.

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73 points

Heh. I’m not sure the secret service even needs to.

At a certain point, “we’re withdrawing protection” needs to be on the table.

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69 points

Unfortunately, secret service protection isn’t just about physically protecting him. It’s also about protecting the information that he knows.

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86 points

How’s that working out? Pretty sure that they didn’t protect a bunch of info at his home.

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11 points

Seems like the simplest method for dealing with traitors goes back to a long drop and a short rope.

If done right it can be relatively quick and painless. I have never felt the need to learnt to tie a noose, but I’ll give it a shot for that piece of filth.

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7 points

I’m willing to gamble on him not actually remembering anything useful to those who would pay for it, hence the document hoarding.

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6 points

Ah. Good point, yes.

Though… I can think of cheaper ways to protect that information. We won’t talk about that, though. Don’t need a visit from the FBI.

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4 points

That’s why he needs to be locked up at ADX Florence.

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16 points

I believe legally the President and their family get SS protection for life.

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32 points

We also have never had a president end up a convicted felon. Personally I think that should warrant withdrawing secret service protections. Obviously he probably should keep the detail. But also fuck his traitor ass.

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6 points
*

Huh I thought it was changed to 10yrs, but it was reverse in 2012 to be permanent.

For those who thought like I did.

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4 points

They use the phrase, ‘by law, the secret service is authorized to protect…’, but it only lasts until his children are 16. The spouse is authorized until they remarry (i never understood that,).

I don’t know what it would take for them not to provide that protection… but… I don’t know that it’s actually obligated so much as… heavily insisted upon.

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1 point

USSS is the abbreviation for US Secret Service.

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3 points
*

They probably don’t allow clown makeup or tanning machines in prison

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132 points
Removed by mod
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36 points

He’s trailer trash that just happens to have money.

Have had money. Past tense. He’s flat broke now and probably spiraling in debt, especially now that New York is deleting his businesses there.

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9 points

I just imagined the Sims and delete delete delete

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4 points

I love reading that phrase: “deleting his businesses there”. I love to see it.

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14 points

Growing up his mom got off on getting him to do crazy shit to end up in the NY tabloids.

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4 points

Add to it, this judge still has other cases. Just because baby use to be president shits his pants doesn’t mean judges get a vaca.

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2 points

He’s trailer trash that just happens to have money.

That’d certainly explains his gaudy taste in… Everything.

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0 points

He’s a nepo baby. All that money came from daddy. He is a gigantic failure.

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2 points

What’s funny is watching his nepo babies slowly realize that their daddy is burning through all that money so quickly that they won’t be getting an inheritance. They’ve been showing up in the news and they just look completely deflated.

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104 points

In his defense he has been unlikable for the entirety of many people’s lives

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20 points

When folks claimed, in 2015, that no one hated trump before he ran for president (also forgetting he ran a sweaty napkin of a campaign years prior) I always loved playing a couple songs by the Coup.

They had someone pretending to be him rap in one from 1994 (the joke being that he’s hated even by other rich assholes): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrSk8Um2Sso (lyrics here: https://genius.com/The-coup-pimps-free-stylin-at-the-fortune-500-club-lyrics)

And in a powerful line in a track of their 2001 album: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84bJG5qj96w (lyrics here: https://genius.com/The-coup-ghetto-manifesto-lyrics)

I practice this like a sport, met Donald Trump and he froze up

Standing on his Bentley yelling, “Pimps down, hoes up”

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17 points
*

When folks claimed, in 2015, that no one hated trump before he ran for president

Of all the absurd claims that Trump supporters regularly make that’s one of the most absurd. Donald Trump hates New York because the NYC elites didn’t accept him as one of their own. The dude was a social pariah that had to resort to crashing parties because he’d never actually get an invite. Even the average New Yorker on the street has known since the '80s that he’s nothing but a silver-spooned fame seeking circus clown.

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15 points

folks claimed, in 2015, that no one hated trump before he ran for president

In the late '80s and early 90s, Spy magazine did an annual “Top 10 Worst People” issue and Donald Trump always made it. Hilariously/depressingly each entry had a “mitigating factor” - Trump’s was always “at least he’s not in politics”.

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3 points

Yes, I barely paid attention to such things, and I remember many people dunking on this asshole back in the 80s. I think Stern had him on later because just so many people hate this stuffed shirt daddy’s boy long, long before he ran in 2015.

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14 points

I’ve hated Donald Trump since he ruined our Christmas Eve in 1989.

When I was young, we had a family tradition of buying a new board game every year for Christmas. It was the one gift we would open as a family on Christmas Eve, so we’d have something new and fun to do together for the evening. In 1989, Milton Bradley released Trump: The Game. My older brother, who has always been interested in ways to get rich, was a fan of Donald Trump at the time (he got better), and insisted that we get the game that year. It was awful. We played it once and I don’t think we ever opened the box again. It was somehow simultaneously too confusing and too simplistic to be fun.

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9 points

I thought this was going to go in a different direction. I thought you were going to say that he ruined Christmas because he didn’t pay for work performed by one of your parents. It was a thing! People in South Jersey used to hate him because of that. Many of them now love him and somehow seem to have forgotten the damage he did in the '90s.

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5 points

Oh, God. I asked for that game as well and unfortunately got it. Worst board game I’ve ever played. Thought it would be close to Monopoly… or even Hotels which also came out in the 80s and was decent. Couldn’t be more wrong. I think I still have it in my childhood closet. I would sell it on eBay, but I think I’m just gonna toss it into the garbage… while also letting the pieces fall out so no one else can play it. He’s been grifting people his whole life.

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10 points

I love referencing this Golden Girls clip: https://youtu.be/rkh_Ig7JLLA?si=bFJ9khRA1XHH22qf

“You are bright. You are charming. You are the anti-Trump!”

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9 points

Trump was the inspiration for alternate-1985 Biff Tannen in Back to the Future II.

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6 points

Trump ran as a Democrat in the early years. People love to forget that little nugget

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3 points
*

Also, he just got finished fucking already-impovershed Atlantic City when he started running.

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2 points
*

I think a great many people knew he was a gigantic douchebag in the 80s. People in the region - even sooner; probably knew in the 70s. It was clear he was a total asshat.

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20 points

I remember seeing him in Home Alone: Lost in New York. I screamed at Kevin not to talk to creepy strangers.

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76 points

Fun fact: Donald Trump is the only cast member of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York to be impeached twice by the US House of Representatives

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12 points

That was fun!

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9 points

Yeah, as a French kid I was blissfully unaware of who Donald Trump was, the cameo flew over my head and I found this scene pretty weird.

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6 points

I’m American, it still flew over my head as a kid too. I thought he was the hotel manager lmao.

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4 points

He’s what your people might call

les incompétents

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85 points

He really does seem to be trying to emulate Hitler, right down to running for office while in prison for an attempted coup. The only difference was that Hitler was not quite 40 when he did that. If Trump goes to actual prison (and doesn’t get some cushy house arrest), he is old enough that he doesn’t have much time left after that.

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40 points

This is exactly it, but he foresees becoming some kind of political prisoner ‘martyr for the cause’ that will ‘surely rally everyone behind him’ for the election.

Unfortunately I’m not sure he’s wrong.

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13 points

I guarantee you he is terrified of prison, even if it is house arrest.

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6 points

And I guarantee you no one filthy rich faces a real prison sentence that anyone of us would face. He’d be living better than most of us in prison. Even if he’s found guilty of tons of crimes they’ll find a way he doesn’t have to go to prison though, because all bullshit aside, they’re all friends. Remember Clinton’s secret memo to boost Trump up in the primaries?

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2 points

Though it’d be interesting to see what happens if he’s put in prison. I say we put him in prison and see.

I bet lots of ketchup is on the wall in his trash palace just beforehand, but he better learn really quick not to throw food in prison!

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10 points

Back in highschool i studied ww2 specifically the Nazis. Was was astonished that anyone could pull that off. Used to think “how the hell was he able to get all these people behind his bullshit?” And “people have learned and hopefully it never repeats itself”. Then trump won and it became clear how hitler pulled it all off.

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6 points

He already doesn’t have much time left. Based on his appearance and the news of his eating habits, I’d be amazed if he survives to the end of the year.

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4 points

The similarities are usually astonishing. Like watching a trainwreck in slow motion every time I hear about this guy

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