113 points

[off topic] There was a comic where someone slips Clark Kent information about an illegal plant dumping chemicals. He shows up as Superman and stops the crime, but the whistleblower is angry that Kent informed Superman instead of digging up the names of the real owners.

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56 points

This is off topic, what does that scrawny journalist Clark Kent have to do with Superman?

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23 points

Scrawny? Looks a bit overweight if you ask me.

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16 points

He’s a corn fed Kansas boy, that probably all muscle.

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44 points
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Conversely, there have been quite a few stories where Clark basically decides Superman would be inefficient at actually solving the issue, so he either busts out the handy dandy notebook and takes them down with his pen, or he calls in the big guns and tips off Lois (because the only thing more satisfying than smashing a corrupt asshole’s things is siccing your Pulitzer winning wife on them).

He’s a very good reporter. Got a real nose for a story, like he can see through walls or hear conversations behind closed doors or something. It’s weird.

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7 points

I think that George Reeves had the best Clark Kent. Most other versions play Clark for laughs. Reeves played him as a day-to-day reporter, easy going but not a chump.

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3 points

I wouldn’t say “most” versions play Clark as a chump, though Christopher Reeves is clearly playing up the “mild-mannered” schtick quite a bit in arguably the most well known depiction in the last 50 years.

Most versions play Clark as competent, they just don’t bother to really dig into Clark as the crack reporter, because that’s Lois’ primary thing, so they give her that screentime.

The most recent animated show, My Adventures With Superman, actually does a good job of making Clark the reporter an integral part of the story.

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3 points

I think folks don’t appreciate how the DC big characters actually work outside of their superheroics to fight the badguys.

The other example is Batman, People watch the Nolan movies and don’t realize that 99% of the time Batman is doing detective work following up on leads from other super detectives, including Clark, or putting his vast wealth to work trying to uproot the poverty and corruption in Gotham without getting killed by the entrenched interests making use of that poverty and corruption.

His supporting cast is literally just him being the world’s most over the top big brother program member, save entirely other lead superheros, everyone in Batman’s belfry is some degree of rescue case from the streets or an abusive past life.

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86 points

The CIA being completely fooled by the pair of glasses would be a pretty good take for a show series.

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7 points

Don Adams was born too early

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64 points

Make it a movie or series and I’ll watch it. Only problem Henry Cavil isn’t good in comedies

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72 points
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He might still fit because you would think clark Kent’s humour would be very dry and mostly rely on timing. The contrast would be great having the silliness come from the CIA characters who could be extremely animated and frustrated. I can only imagine the scenes about the CIA agents trying to explain to their boss why they keep failing

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25 points

Yeah he could be a good straight man.

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19 points

That would be the best way for it to work. He barely notices these guys, and they keep failing…. Like Michael Palin in “A Fish called Wanda”

Not a bad idea actually

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8 points

23 Jump Street

It absolutely would work.

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3 points

Directed by the Coen Brothers

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3 points

Directed by Wes Anderson, with Jason Schwartzman playing Superman/Clark Kent, Saoirse Ronan as Lois Lane, Bill Murray playing Perry White, and Owen Wilson as Luthor. CIA boss played by Jeff Goldblum, vice-President of the USA played by Anjelica Huston, and President not seen on-screen but voice acted by Ira Glass.

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3 points

Yeah Jim Carrey would be a CIA agent here not Clark Kent.

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2 points

I’m picturing something like Lilo and Stitch lol

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33 points

The man from uncle was great as he just played a straight face man and the comedic stuff happened around him

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1 point

Yeah comedy doesn’t need to be about acting funny. Put Jim Carey in the same role and it’s a flop (that the reviews would call being carried by Jim, eh).

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1 point

Jim Carey is great in serious roles though, right?

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12 points

Wasn’t Justice League a comedy? I thought it was pretty funny.

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7 points

It might with Superman being completely oblivious that they’re trying to kill him so he’s just playing it straight. The CIA would be poisoning him and stuff and Superman would just not even notice.

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6 points

It’s funnier if he plays the role completely straight anyway.

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2 points

Jon Hamm is though

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44 points

Hell the CIA had enough trouble trying to kill Castro, exploding cigars etc, etc etc, that this would almost write itself. And since they were so bad at killing a normal human I doubt they would ever get suspicious that Clarke manages to avoid every trap they set for him.

Alternate take. Castro was an alien…

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16 points

You make the wrong assumptions there. The truth behind why we hear about laughable attempts for Castro and not much more isn’t that this is how the CIA rolls. It could also be that this is one of the few times they failed at all.

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5 points

Issue there is that they couldn’t try to kill him directly. Always had to be by proxy.

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-3 points

With Che they learned from all the Castro attempts and just straight up tortured him to death

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9 points

Huh? Che was captured and executed by Bolivians.

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4 points

Bolivian funded by and answerable to the CIA. The CIA funded his hunt and capture but conveniently claim they didn’t want him dead. In the end it was the CIA money that killed him

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8 points

But Che was executed by the Bolivian army before the CIA could interrogate him? They didn’t get a chance to torture him.

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32 points
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One scene could be where they’re in the office and the facial recognition software keeps trying to identify Clark Kent as Superman, but they just can’t believe it, and one guy says “That’s not Superman just look at him. This guy wears glasses!”.

Edit: In case anyone out there reading this is actually from the CIA, we’re just kidding guys/gals, we believe in you.

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