Why YSK: These tips may help you pick a more ripe, juicier, sweeter watermelon.

18 points
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13 points

Never eat them, horrible watery bullshit and more effort than they’re worth.

However, a very much appreciated post because my wife loves them and if this is true, I can become the Watermelon Wizard

Thanks, possibly:)

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2 points

I’m not sure what the effort you’re taking about is. Don’t you must cut off a hunk and then cut it into chunks? Seems like one of the easier kinds of produce to prepare.

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13 points

If you do become the Watermelon Wizard, will you be getting a cape? Or what do wizard wear… a mantle?

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0 points

You get two massive melons on your chest

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34 points

I was thinking about just painting my balls green tbh

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9 points

Make sure to put a large, orange blotch on them to indicate they’re delicious!

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17 points

She’s going to love it.

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3 points

Watermelons are the closest thing to biblical mana in these times of extreme temperatures. I too aspire to become a watermelon wizard, but for my own benefit.

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2 points

There’s some tools take them easy to prep. I have a tool that’s just a metal loop and it’s amazing. Basically you just slice the watermelon in half then scoop out in either sphere shapes or long strips.

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21 points
*

Finally now I know my melons gender, now I won’t get in trouble on twitter

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5 points

Stop misgendering melons!

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3 points
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you won’t get in trouble on twitter anyways, now

the elongated muskrat has blessed us with “freedom of speech*”

spoiler

*so long as that speech does not in any way offend Elon Musk personally

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1 point

what if watermelons just suck?

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12 points

You shut your mouth!

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6 points

hey maybe I just live too far north to get good ones but now I just avoid them out of spite

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7 points

I can respect that.

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84 points

This was bullshit the first 2000 times it was posted to reddit and it’s still bullshit here.

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38 points

Show us on the watermelon where the internet hurt you

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6 points

I bet it was a pumpkin

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31 points

<shows pale, tasteless spot>

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17 points

I just roll my eyes at it now.

FYI there is no reliable way to tell if a watermelon is ripe after it is harvested. The most reliable indicator is the tendril on the node the peduncle is attached to. When it is fully dry, the fruit is ready.

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