it is yet another week at the Beehaw factory so it is time for yet another of these threads…
On day 8 out of 8 in a row at work. Got 3 days off starting tomorrow and Cities Skyline 2 to dig into.
It’s going. I’m really tired of working in IT and I want an exit from this career field so bad. I’ve been doing this since 1995 and IT has become the bane of humanity. In the '90s we all had pie in the sky dreams about the ways we were going to make the world better with computers and programming, and it’s just turned into lots of complicated ways to take money from people.
I learn languages very easy so I’m going to go to a local community college and just start taking language classes. I can speak three languages right now, but for the next semester I’m going to go back and take Latin. That will give me a reading boost for Spanish, Italian, and French.
Will I ever do anything with it? Who knows. But I’m so tired of IT that I am almost thinking about going to the airport and working a ramp job.
I can really empathize with this. I only spent a bit under 20 years in IT and I fucked off a couple of years ago, after I realized I’m going to jump off a cliff if I don’t. I unironically think that the Internet has turned out to be a huge mistake and that our plains ape brains just aren’t ready for any of this, and that IT in general is largely making things worse for humanity.
I still really like computer science though, enjoy coding (but only personal projects with questionable utility, more code-as-art than anything goal-oriented), and think that computation as a phenomenon is absolutely fascinating. Went back to university a couple of months ago with the plan to maybe nerd out on things like cellular automata and evolutionary computation, but very quickly noticed that – thanks to some newly acquired autoimmune problems which led to things like me having to get a fairly relevant internal organ yanked out – I can’t concentrate worth shit and eg. studying mathematics just isn’t happening even with ADHD medication (which I’ve been using on and off ever since my diagnosis in the early 00’s).
I’ve been living off savings for the couple of years I’ve been out of IT, but I really have to start thinking about how the hell I’m going to keep on living and I’ve also thought about just doing pretty much any job that wouldn’t require anything except rudimentary cognitive input from me, something like sorting mail or whatever.
I hope you find a new path for yourself. Explore the language idea? Maybe there’s something there
This week is going great actually. I’m on a beeline for graduation this December and so I’ve mostly got my head down currently. Hoping to get admitted into grad school to keep going after this.
Some interesting things about my week: I spent most of yesterday modeling aquifers and aquifer systems. I know most people probably don’t know much about aquifers or how they work but it’s a lot more complicated than being an underground lake.
And anxiety is getting to me about graduation. Mostly because of family. Half of which do not know I’m bisexual and are pretty homophobic, so I’m thinking it won’t be worth it to have my boyfriend in attendance. Which is really rough on me. I know I should just tell them and they can pound sand if they don’t like it, but at the same time I don’t see them often and it puts my bf in an awkward spot. So he’s urging me to just let him stay home so he doesn’t have to be around that. And that’s a lot to process. I’m also inviting my dad who hasn’t talked to me since May when he found out. Who knows if he will show up.
And before anyone worries too much, I’m not like heartbroken about this. Homophobia just confuses me. All I can do is mitigate its effects but I’m always very confused why I even have to deal with it.
I’m on a road trip for my partners father’s wedding that was on Saturday. We road tripped from the west coast to the Michigan and we’ll be leaving tomorrow morning to get back home at the end of the week.
I miss my dog <3 I’ve been having a good time though, despite the lack of sleep and extra aches
chuck (foster dog) got his stitches out last wendesday. he came to the office with me on thursday morning, ate lunch with my coworkers and me outside, and then we headed out to meet a family. he was so tired by the end of the day. and the best news: he is going to his new home on wednesday evening! they already have a ramp from their last dog, a large fenced-in yard, and they want to play ball and go on walks with him. i couldn’t dream of a better match. 🥰
i have been (lazily) looking for a new place to do yoga, and i took a class friday evening that was great! very chill, not hot yoga, and adaptable/calm. so many places around here are GET RIPPED, HOT YOGA, WORK YOUR BOOTY OFF, which is not at all what i want in a yoga class. i want to relax, do a lil’ strength and balance work, then spend 5-10 minutes laying quietly. i bought a 2-week intro membership, and i’ll probably end up with their 4 classes/month plan, since i can’t imagine i’ll go more often than that.
my old roomie/friend and one of my other friends had their wedding reception party after eloping across the country a little while back. my ex was there, and it was really validating to know i made the right choice. i don’t think i would have been happy with him where he is in life now. but also: his new girlfriend is super cool! i want to be friends with her, haha.
i have got a zillion social events available to me this weekend. hoping i can make most of them!
