I’m writing this as someone who has mostly lived in the US and Canada. Personally, I find the whole “lying to children about Christmas” thing just a bit weird (no judgment on those who enjoy this aspect of the holiday). But because it’s completely normalized in our culture, this is something many people have to deal with.
Two questions:
What age does this normally happen? I suppose you want the “magic of Christmas” at younger ages, but it gets embarrassing at a certain point.
And how does it normally happen? Let them find out from others through people at school? Tell them explicitly during a “talk”? Let them figure it out on their own?
Not christmas stuff here but also giftbringer once a year.
Most times the children get to know the truth at 6-8 year. When they are in the year off school you get to write and read… If you don t know yet the others will tell you. And sometimes a bit of laughing. Hardcore believers are like 10. Never saw one older than that.
My sister was 4 she wanted proof. So explained. I was 6 and mam told me cause my relatives got always so mutch more and she did not wanted me to feel bad. Or think i was bad. My niece was 10 and she was like 2 days sad crying in het bed after dhe was told.
I found the present stash when I was about 5-6 years old and spent a few years continuing to go through the motions of Santa, playing dumb. I was also told by a non-Christian kid around that time that Santa was fake (not sure which came first). It made me very upset for a day, which is why I remember so clearly, and then I realized either way Christmas is still great. I’m glad I played dumb, for my sister’s sake, and I think my parents got a kick out of it.
Kids talk at school. Ages 5 to 9.
Saw this on Reddit years ago, and it goes like: You had a great time thinking of Santa. Now you know the truth, and you are now Santa. Same as your parents. Don’t ruin it for your siblings, let them keep the magical feeling.
This. I was eight when I found out. My mother was in denial and kept using santa as a manipulation tool for good behavior until I was maybe 13, but she was an alcoholic with the tentative grasp of reality. I got super bitter about Christmas until I was homeless as a teen.
Christmas was the first major attempt to wrestle back what I felt I was owed as a child. I refused to be bitter, because I saw that as giving in to the people who wanted me to fail. I enjoy Christmas as punk as fuck.
Still hard, though. I can’t find anyone as into it as I want to be and don’t have the energy to really go all in as I want to.
We always said Santa was a fun make believe activity, but then our house has a lot of fantasy media so what’s one more myth?
In our family it was done like this: The story of how the presents get magically to the house was told, just like you would tell a fairytale, in this kind of storytelling way. Younger children believe it, older children begin suspecting something from the tone of voice. We also let some things slip sometimes, like hiding presents and having to go and buy some secret stuff to help with preparing the Christmas. Children of older preschool age really enjoy being able to find out themselves, suspecting you and catching the clues. Then when they confront you with their theory, you can let them in on the conspiration by just a wink, maybe tell them not to let others know. They then tend to start participating, preparing their own presents for others. It works very well.
I like this. in my family, I figured it out at about 3 or 4, promptly told the 2 year old, and broke the reality to the next two before they could even start to believe there was a real Santa.
instead, Santa was the spirit of Christmas, so any of us could be Santa if we gave presents with no expectation of recognition or a return gift. much more Secret Santa than magical man leaving presents.
this did lead to several years where the youngest would give away all their toys, only to then reclaim them after presents were opened. generosity isn’t an easy concept for the pre-schoolers.
