New evidence confirms COVID-19 vaccines are overwhelmingly safe::More than 38 million COVID-19 vaccine doses have been administered in Ontario as of Oct. 8, with 23,002 reports of adverse reactions, an incidence of 0.06 per cent, Public Health Ontario says

288 points

Also, old evidence confirms it.

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60 points

I guess whatever it takes to convince the skeptics. Though I figure nothing will convince them once they’ve made up their mind.

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99 points

I don’t like calling them “skeptics,” because what they really are is super-gullible with regards to conspiracy theories.

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52 points

“Science deniers” is a better description.

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10 points

There was real reason to be skeptical at first. mRNA vaccines have been in the works for decades and they had just gotten some that work well, then rushed it through. Drug companies aren’t known for being conservative with claims when there’s money to be made.

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5 points

“I don’t know… those first fifty studies of vaccine safety didn’t sway me. Maybe 51 will”

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31 points

Cannot use logic to convince someone whose argument isn’t logical in the first place

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17 points

I’ve always preferred it phrased as “You can’t reason someone out of a position they didn’t reason themselves into,” but same energy.

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161 points

Okay, if you say so, because I died six months after getting the first one like they said I would. Now I’m a magnetic 5G zombie.

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34 points

What brand of vaccine did you get? I definitely get the 5G orders from George Soros and such (pretty standard stuff), and I was already dead inside before the jab, but I didn’t get any magnetism.

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23 points

I got whichever one is most convenient to me winning the discussion about how vaccines are bad and give you 100 autisms.

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7 points

Wait, only 100?

That’s not enough for savant powers!

Better get extra.

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1 point

You should get a refund then, im so magnetic it’s not funny.

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17 points

How’s your reception?

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24 points

Being a zombie, I no longer need a phone. But my Bill Gates microchip ensures good reception for all around me whose brains I am not eating.

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8 points

You’re very articulate for a zombie

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3 points

Best of all, the chip also doubles as an electric guitar pedal.

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9 points

Should have turned your phone off during the national alert test.

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5 points

Did 99% of the population also die? I must have missed that.

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5 points

That 99% lived in Canada and went to a different school. They were supermodels. You didn’t know them.

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3 points

Ok, so I’m living in the last safe place on earth. Everywhere else the vaccine killed just about everyone but in my area nothing happened.

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92 points

There was a 50/50 split in the US Senate when the vaccine came out. Every member of that group was vaccinated. They were the first members of the population to be vaccinated. If any of the ancient senators had died, the balance of power would have shifted in a huge way.

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9 points

Now there’s a great premise for a sci-fi, like something Dick would write

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87 points

Amazing what all the efficacy and safety studies said before is still true. It was true before, but now it’s also true.

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7 points
*

They’re not safe. They’re 0.06% harmful. That number is probably a lie too, in reality with all the cover ups and bad incentives the number could be as high as 0.1% harmful, that means 40% of cases were covered up or hidden by nurses and doctors who actively went against their hippocratic oath and did something malicious and counter effective to their job. And they don’t even clearly define what harmful is. How many of those 0.1% had mild head aches or nausea? Everyone is stupid but me.

/s

But in all seriousness I’m not sure if it’s better to admit that it’s not 100% safe because a lot of people think they will be the unlucky one out of 1000 to get a headache or a mild rash or the 1 out of 100000 that has something more severe. People who are generally anti vax have a hard time grasping these numbers and also seem to be completely wilfully blind to the increased danger from getting actual Covid. They think they’ll be fine and either won’t get it or it won’t be bad yet at the same time think they’ll be the unlucky one to get sick from the vaccine

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8 points
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I usually tell people that it’s safer than birth control. 1 in 1000 women experience severe complications from birth control, and we hand that stuff out like candy.

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2 points

So true. Sadly it’s often those same types of people against vaccines who are against birth control as well.

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0 points

I don’t think that’s making the point you think it is.

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87 points

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28 points

Seriously, I don’t know why this is news.

Wait, yes I do, half the population is stupid.

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9 points

Well, about 33%.

Something something think about how dumb the average person is.

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