129 points
*

The year is 2082

Hollywood will not take any risks.

The only actors are the reanimated corpses of Tom Cruise, Scarlett Johansson, Zoe Saldana, Samuel L Jackson, Tom Hanks, and Harrison Ford, all de-aged back to life with VFX.

The only films are Fast 43, Avengers vs The Spider-Verse XIV, Indiana Jones 22, Star Wars Episode XXI: Revenge of the Return, Toy Story 25, Avatar 5, and The Lion King: The Animation of The Broadway production of the Re-animated Live Action: 3D Extended Edition.

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39 points

What really got me in this great list was Avatar franchise only made it to Avatar 5 in all those years! 😂

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4 points

Me too! Laughed out loud!

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11 points

There is also an anime adaptation of Half-Life 2 Episode 2.5.

And One Piece is going to end next year.

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1 point

Luffy will still be the same age 🤣

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6 points

In the grim dark future there are only sequels.

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8 points

Future? We are already in that scenario.

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4 points

In the grim dark present there are only sequels.

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5 points

You are quite optimistic about Avatar release dates I see. I’d be expecting a trailer for Avatar 3 by then.

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1 point

A3 should be released in december 2025 as they filmed it at the same time as the second movie and it’s currently in the post-production stage. The fourth one is also partly filmed already, scheduled for a 2029 release iirc.

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5 points

What about Die Hard 15: John McClane vs Predator?

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2 points

I just laughed so hard at this. Thank you.

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19 points

And he still moved and sounded 80 years old…

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6 points

It’s like the opposite of Johnny Knoxville dressing as an old guy

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5 points

I like the original movies and I’m considering to go see it - is it worth it?

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11 points

I put this up as another comment:

No spoilers, for me it felt like it was cutting bits and pieces from the original films and remixing them.

“Oh, this is just like that bit from Raiders where Marian gets kidnapped… Oh, hey, that’s like when the tank ground up against the wall…”

There’s entirely too much of “Well if you liked that, you’ll probably like this…” moments.

Which isn’t always bad, but it doesn’t generate new memories so much as throw back to the others.

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6 points

Yeah. that’s with many of these.

A hommage here and there is nice, but some movies just feel like a remized Frankenstein best-of and feels so artificial.

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2 points

I would say no. All these movies look like dumb marvel movies where nothing looks real anymore.

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8 points

Call me blasphemous, but I in fact quite liked the fourth Indy movie. It hit all the right notes for me, nostalgia-wise. I’m curious to see what this one is like.

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9 points
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9 points

I’m definitely not a movie expert or huge Indiana Jones fan but I just saw the movie last night and had a blast. The ending is also pretty epic.

I agree that it definitely could be improved in places and I understand that fans of the movies might want to compare it with the previous ones, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a highly entertaining and enjoyable adventure film.

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5 points

Two tickets to Star Wars, please

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0 points

Give me an hour with stable diffusion and I’ll do it.

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