41 points

A reminder for the uncivilized savages from a very civilized gentleman with a sweet smelling asshole: WASH YOUR ASS WITH WATER. USE A BIDET OR A BUM GUN.

Why are Americans okay with shooting up schools but not ok with shooting up their own assholes?! Bum guns also don’t require reloading! You can fire as much as you want! Use Bum guns 👍.

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8 points

I’m a heavy shitter, I shit alot and I shit so much my ass crack looks like caramelized fondu. When I go outside flys swarm around my ass and get stuck on my sticky ass crack. Everyone would avoid me in the local Walmart when I shop for gaming supplies (Doritos and Dr Pepper mostly). I have difficultly wiping because I can’t physically reach under there and I can’t stand up in the shower. One day my mom told me to lose weight (yeah thanks for bullying me again mom 😒) and I know I’m a little heavy at the moment because I have to use cooking oil to greese up the doorframes so I can squeeze through but that’s only because of capitalism shrinking all the rental apartments and cramming as many people in as possible. Anyway I was playing Amongus and one of my femboy friends told me about bidgets. At first I was like “huh?” and he explained that because he plays Genshin he cannot physically leave the house or bathe and he has a special toilet that cleans his butthole for him. So I ordered one off Amazon and my god it is the best thing ever, now this device shoots water up my asshole and poof! No more shit streaked stretch pants woohoo!

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4 points

What a terrible day to be literate in this masterful world you have created.

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2 points

That’s amazing! Btw, what’s ur femboy friend’s snap?

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3 points

If paper is good enough for wiping the shit from my hands, it’s good enough for wiping the shit from my ass.

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3 points

And this is why I don’t like handshakes.

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5 points

I love the name bum gun

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4 points

I love bums

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1 point

As a child I was to taught to use a Lota and I have never used anything else. Is that grosser than toilet paper or better?

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1 point

A less elegant solution, sure. But much better than using paper for god’s sake!

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7 points

I’m afraid to Google this. What is a bum gun. I already have a bidet.

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5 points
5 points

Oh I think my sink has one of those will have to try it out

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1 point

Oh. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense.

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3 points

That’s a pussy phone

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4 points

Super soaker with a 1200 psi stream focusing attachment

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24 points
*

I love that they took the time to replace the bottle with a TP roll and add the package of TP in the background, but couldn’t be bothered to modify the sign or product description.

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14 points

I’m confused. In the description I see Snuggle and the toilet paper is Snuggle. I can’t read the more detailed description due to poor resolution.

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2 points

Yeah, Lemmy is a weird place sometimes, and people can be brainless with upvoting.

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24 points

Here I fixed it

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9 points

WHY IS IT 90 FUCKING DOLLARS FOR TOILET PAPER!??!?!?!

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11 points

Because life happens outside USA too

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2 points

Oh whew. It’s rupees.

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12 points

89.95

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4 points

I’d bet on it not being USD though based on the Caribbean lager behind her.

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1 point
*

Maybe it was during covid? ;)

BTW: I love how TP is answer to but cataclysm. This year they’re was extremely rare hurricane coming to Southern California and again saw a lot of carts on Costco with one or two packs of TP day before it hit.

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1 point

Well, TP is the answer to butt cataclysms.

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1 point
Deleted by creator
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9 points

That’s a shit job.

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