Resurfaced comments in which new House Speaker Mike Johnson talked about how he and his son monitor each other’s online activity using “accountability software” have raised questions about national security.

Johnson, a Republican who was first elected to Congress in 2016, spoke in 2022 about how he installed software called Covenant Eyes on his devices during a panel called “War on Technology” at Cypress Baptist Church in Benton, Louisiana, Rolling Stone reported.

According to a clip first posted on X, formerly Twitter, by a user called Receipt Maven, Johnson spoke about how the subscription-based service helps people abstain from internet porn and “objectionable” websites.

304 points

I thought this was overblown at first glance but reading into it…

From Wikipedia:

Accountability software typically functions by continuously making screenshots of the user’s mobile phone or computer screen and monitoring their internet traffic. It checks both for keywords (such as “gay” or “porn”) and images associated with the behavior the software is intended to detect.

So like even if the Speaker is on a VPN securely viewing classified material, if it’s on his phone or laptop, Covenant Eyes now has screenshots of it. That is very much a breech of national security if that is happening.

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178 points

Holy balls, it costs almost as much as Netflix ($204/year) and all it does is spy on you?! I’m not an evil man but these idiots ask for this service. I wish I’d thought of it.

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85 points
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it costs almost as much as Netflix ($204/year)

LMAO what?! My god, it could not be more obvious that every single anti-porn crusader out there has serious issues with self-control and project it onto the rest of society. And let’s not even get into the fact that they have a ridiculously unhealthy understanding of human sexuality.

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21 points
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Casually browses fetish porn knowing that I’m not the only one while knowing I’m not in the majority.

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12 points

ridiculously unhealthy

I would argue that they don’t understand human sexuality. Point blank.

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13 points

I’m in the wrong business.

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2 points

Sorry, $204/yr is not enough for me to keep tabs on someone else’s festishes. Especially not those of a Republican congressman.

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69 points
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I’m sure there’s no chance that a “Christian-based surveillance company” is mishandling the data they collect in insecure or nefarious ways.

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62 points
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Fun fact: Before starting his weird anti-porn spyware company the CEO of Covenant Eyes, Ronald DeHaas, worked as a geologist for Chevron in the 70s. In fact, he’s still helping to destroy the planet by working as a consultant for the petroleum industry. He never actually stopped. So he’s always been an unscrupulous P.O.S.

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51 points

Why always get the gays involved? I swear, these people are obsessed with penises and projecting at this point.

I mean I’m a straight woman, I watched one video just because I was curious about the practicality of things and was too embarrassed to harass a gay friend about it.

But when I want to get horny now, it doesn’t even cross my mind. Even though there was one scene with Nick Offerman that was really hot in The Last of Us.

So major projection from these people.

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42 points
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Some Christian men talk about “SSA” (same sex attraction) and their struggle to “resist the temptation”. As a non-repressed straight man, this is not something I’ve ever dealt with. I feel bad that these people are so indoctrinated and intimidated by their weird-ass culture that they can’t just relax and go grab a dick.

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21 points

It’s because Christianity (and by nature, offshoots of it) was, and still is, a means of control.

Let’s not forget the roots of Christianity was from when it was a literal cult; you were considered a part of the Christian Cult if you practiced Christianity before iirc either Theodosius or Constantine became the Roman Emperor and made it into the state religion. Christmas was also stolen from Sol Invictus as a means to help bridge the transition into Christianity.

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6 points

Fear of bigger dicks, I think. The opposite is their obsession with BBCs with white women. Not a psychologist, arm-chair opinion.

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5 points

If it’s high enough classification, he would not have access on his personal phone though.

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21 points
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The risk does not stop at the line of classification. Comms for example, anyone he texts or is texted to those screens are taken and stored off.

It is a risk to national security, period. It’s a fuckin social engineering jackpot for fucks sake.

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9 points
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If he is following proper protocols and procedures: Yes

If he were following proper protocol, he wouldn’t willingly install spyware in the first place.

And unless he is VERY strictly separating his work and his personal devices, there is inevitable leakage. Even something as simple as getting too close to the line on “So I need to fly out to Nevada to check out these weather balloon things and make sure everything is fine” and so forth.

But also? All of this is publicly available information. At a high level, there are two kinds of classified material. Stuff that is classified by specific rules and are generally based on science and technology. And the other is “national security” and is more or less anything a bureaucrat thinks is important.

So the POTUS liking two shots of soy milk in his coffee is not classified because soy milk and coffee are not classified. But if it is decided that “terrorists” might attack the soy milk supply chain? Suddenly there is an argument that that information is sensitive.

And there are a LOT of arguments to be made regarding the Speaker of the House’s personal ties and vulnerabilities becoming “sensitive”.

And then you have people like trump who just give zero shits and are likely to take a picture of a document so they can show it to other people later.

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3 points

Right, even if he had access to classified information in an unsecured space, the classified system would have its own encryption device and its own systems separate from the unclassified network.

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2 points

That’s only part of it though. Another component is that anyone having access to his personal devices --let alone his porn habits-- potentially has compromising information on him. Once he’s compromised, he’s a national security threat, full stop.

What if he’s having an affair and there’s evidence of it on his phone? What if he’s doing other shady shit that involves not having a bank account? You better believe the Russians and/or the CCP would love to have compromat on the Speaker.

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1 point

Sure, but there’s probably already plenty of ways to compromise these idiots.

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157 points

Imagine needing spying accountability software to not watch gay porn. These weird homophobes really are the gayest of them all.

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71 points

Oh, no, it’s the porn that’s the problem, just being there all hot and gay.

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19 points

Yeah, god forbid the hot gayness leap out at unsuspecting homophobes! Better get some STRONG software to keep it at bay, instead of just, you know, just NOT BROWSING PORN SITES

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15 points

The thing is he’s admitting he has a problem he can’t control. Just not doing a thing is the reasonable approach for people who have self control.

It also is an admission that the GOP’s preferred solution to temptation is doomed. Just Say No to drugs. Abstinence-only birth control. But he needs to subscribe to a service to keep him from watching porn.

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1 point
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“Lord grant me strength…dammit Lord your strength is not enough!! What I really need is an ever present entity that I pay a monthly tithe to, constantly watching over me, judging my every move!! Surely there’s somebody out there better at this than you, Lord!”

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42 points

I think everyone should be allowed to watch all the gay porn they want. Even Mike Johnson.

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27 points

So does Mike’s Johnson

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4 points

Nice!

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6 points

“We have to ensure that America stays a Christian nation, a righteous nation. And sometimes that means helping to hold each other accountable, like two men holding each other in the bathtub after passionately making love with their fists. This means we need to be vigilant in filtering out all the sinful websites from our web browsers. Websites like twinktube.com, blackdickswhitebussies.com, cockgoblins.com, buttholeinvasion.com, footlongdong.com, and so, so many others.”

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54 points

I grew up in the far right evangelical Christian church and watching people’s horror when they hear little tidbits about how fucked up it is always entertaining to me. I know a bunch of people who use the same software on their computers.

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18 points

Triggering the apocalypse? Yes please!

Triggering an orgasm? Satan’s work.

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5 points

Is it usually at the wives’ insistance?

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8 points
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For married men that usually seems to be the case. For anyone else its usually at the insistence of their men’s group.

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4 points
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Creeps all around, yikes. I get the idea but damn is there no way to make this any less a ticking time bomb in every instance

Edit: or, like, condos?

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3 points

This is totes a cult’s way to get incriminating info on dudes

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51 points
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this shit is so fucking creepy and insane. if literal receipts about the porn i look at came up in a family conversation for any reason whatsoever my brain would melt and explode. how are these freaks so outwardly successful but behind closed doors they’re spying on their son’s porn viewing??

how does this motherfucker do speaking tours with these blood curdling weird christians and become like the 4th most powerful person in government? why do we keep respecting people who can’t even jerk off like an adult? we used to be a proper country! we used to do rebellions!

he doesn’t even have any particular juice or charisma! he’s just white and clean shaven and wears a button down! give him the fucking keys to congress! jesus fucking christ

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19 points

Don’t forget, he shares his porn with his son too!

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7 points

I wonder if he also shares his porn viewing with his black “adopted” “son”

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2 points

I wonder if he was particular in that the adopted child had to be black?

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0 points
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deleted by creator

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1 point

*Habits. He shares his porn habits with his son as an accountability measure. Still only slightly less weird though…

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2 points

I mean, the point of it is to deter you from looking at porn in the first place.

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50 points

Does he so desperately want to look at porn that he needs this? How about will power?

Who the fuck are these people.

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58 points
Deleted by creator
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9 points

Penn Jillette said it best. Paraphrasing: “I rape and kill and murder everyone I want to, and that number is zero. Why the fuck isn’t your number zero???”

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6 points

Basic training circa '96, and I get outed as an atheist. Heard exactly this from more than one person.

It is really scary thinking how many people are held in check by the thin veil of mythology.

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15 points

I cannot imagine being so pathetic that I need a subscription to help me not watch porn. But even if I were, how hard is it to just set up parental security password, and ask someone else to set it for you so you don’t know what the password is. What a moron.

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10 points

I suspect it’s more about virtue signaling. It’s not that he needs people to keep him from watching porn. He needs people to know that he’s not watching porn.

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2 points

Id bet hes got a financial stake in it, or at least is scratching someones back who does.

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7 points

Imagine thinking “porn addiction” is a real thing and not something Jordan Peterson made up to sell transphobia to incels

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3 points

I’m sure it is a real thing, literally everything can become an addiction if you consistently feed the wrong patterns to your brain.

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2 points

It’s not an addiction, it’s min-maxing value! Times are tough!

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7 points

Actual psychopaths.

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6 points

sounds like a publicity stunt gone wrong

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