Probably a boring answer but I know my grandmother’s credit card information. I live with and help take care of her, so she doesn’t mind sharing it with me. Not like I’m planning to do anything nefarious, but I guess technically it could ruin her financially.
Lawyers, accountants, and software engineers accumulate these things like you wouldn’t believe. We can’t tell you about current secrets, only stale ones.
I once knew that the top level password used at a corporation valued at 6 billion dollars was ‘password123’. They had no backups, no VPN, and that password was used at all the high-value access points. It’s since been fixed, but it was that for years.
It’s since been fixed, but it was that for years.
I like that this implies you regularly checked
That I’ve had to turn down some really cool overseas job opportunities. I couldn’t tell my kids that I even got the job offers because their mother (my ex wife) refuses to consider the move and how we’d need to share the kids time with them overseas.
If I told the kids (now late teens) that their dream of living overseas was stymied so far by their mother’s recalcitrance they might disown her, at least for a while.
It really sucks because not only don’t I get to take the jobs, but I also have to hide my excitement at even getting the offer from my own family so that I can maintain my kids’ relationship with their mother.
There’s hopefully some context you’re leaving out for the sake of privacy or something, but… Why would your ex consider a move to Europe for your work? I wouldn’t even expect my wife to be 100% on board with uprooting her entire life to move halfway across the world.
I dont think they’re saying they expect her to. They appear to just be describing what’s happening.
As to why, probably custody arrangements and anti-kidnapping laws and treaties.
Ah, there’s a bit of miscommunication. My ex wouldn’t move with us in this situation.
Though, in this case, my wife is 100% on board. She and I have wanted to make this kind of move for a while, so I’ve got full support on that side of things. I wouldnt have even begun any applications without her total but in.
I see. But the custody part is kind of part of the game when having children, as and she’s fully entitled with not being interested in having her children move abroad. Your previous comment kind of painted her as being inconsiderate and stifling her children’s dreams. I’m curious as to why you even began applications without her buy in as well. She’s not your wife anymore, but she’s still the mother of the children.
Yeah I can see how this is complicated.
I don’t see why you don’t share that you got the job offer and then tell your kids that you’ll have to work out custody arrangements with their mother. And then share with the kids how those discussions go. I think they’re old enough (as teens) to have a say in those discussions, as well as be privy to how they go.
There’s no reason they shouldn’t see it unfold in front of them; just make sure that you’re never the one to specifically say “your mother won’t work anything out with me so moving overseas with me would mean I never see you again”
This is a passive aggressive and shitty thing to do.
Not wanting your kids to be moved overseas and only see them half the year is a normal reaction. Most teenagers are mature enough to see through the veil that mom is the reason they can’t go but not mature enough to truly understand why. They’d blame her regardless.
I have a lot of relatives who look to me for tech support. I used to have them choose their own passwords, or tell them to change it if I set one for them (they never change it). Then, inevitably, I’d have to help them reset those passwords the very next time they need to log in on a new device, or their sessions expire.
I tried to set them up with password managers, and some picked it up (my siblings). Others quickly forgot their master password, meaning I then had to sort out recovering ALL their various accounts.
Once I literally used a known exploit to hack into an old android tablet that my youngest sibling managed to forget the screen-lock for.
Now I just shamelessly save a bunch of other people’s passwords, pin-codes and other access details using my password manager, because they literally do not care. And it’s straight up more secure than the post-it notes some of them would use if I let them. They know I do this, I’ve made it clear that if they want my help but won’t follow my advice when I’m not there, making my life harder, further help comes with giving me unreasonable levels of access to their digital lives.
I’ve never misused it, and I never will. I take steps to be extra secure because I know I’m a single point of failure should my password database ever be breached somehow. But I could ruin dozens of lives.
Writing passwords down isn’t that bad, actually. We humans are very good at securing little pieces of paper; just put the one you wrote your password on with the other valuable pieces of paper, in your wallet.
It’s “sticking the post-it note to the computer screen” that’s the problem.
Picked up a keyboard from the thrift store with a pink Post It on the back.
user: admin
pass: password
Who the hell needs to write that down?!
Absolutely, but unless you do stick it to the monitor, you still rely on them remembering where the note is, what it’s for, and keeping it around.
And keeping some passwords in your wallet is only safe for as long as you don’t also include what they are for. Which would be necessary in this case…
I obviously also forbid them from using the same password for everything, which meant that even when they did write their passwords down, finding it was a scavenger hunt that’s an even bigger time-waste than a password reset. Because they never kept them organized or in even in one place!
Just in theory, could you be held accountable if they did something illegal and you have access to that stuff?
I’m not sure I see the scenario. If I gave you the key to my place then I murdered someone in it, are you accountable for any of it?
Here’s a scenario: You have the password to my paypal account. The police arrest me for an unrelated public indecency charge after I urinate on the local government courthouse building. The account is then used to purchase illegal drugs from another country while I am in custody. Having no access to my account or the internet, I could not have made the purchase. The police learn of this purchase when customs detects a strong odor from a package and decide to inspect it, finding a massive hoard of marijuana and jenkem. the police are alerted and ask me, the account owner, who else has access to the account. Me, under duress and probably having shitty withdrawals, tell them everything i know about you, specifically things that might implicate you. As the only known person with access and having no alibi for the time period, you are then arrested for suspicion of involvement in an international crime ring. After searching your computer they find a VPN and TOR and then you are sequestered in a secret military prison and forced to do the chicken dance naked until you confess to every unsolved crime ever.
While this scenario might be far-fetched, hyperbolic and not really accountability per se, it is a plausible worry some people may have. Just playing devils advocate here.
If you’re using bitwarden or keepass then it should be safe. Anything else is asking for trouble.
Self-hosted and entirely under my control, yes. Any other manager that encrypts the store in a way where even when breached it’s not useful, should also be safe…
But truly knowing is best.
I set up my mom and brother with a multivault password manager (1password) where our vault passwords are saved to a shared vault in case we forget our passwords/die - given the level of familial trust I think it’s an acceptable risk especially with how badly we got burnt by trying to get into utility accounts and the like after my father died.
BitWarden does have something similar via “backup access” and “organisation” vaults. I’ve not looked at setting up either, yet.
Bitwarden is kinda insane for the amount of features it offers. I recently found that you can create an organisation and add family members, and have it set up so that you can reset their password if they’ve forgotten it, while still securely encrypting the passwords. This was a really cool feature that I didn’t know was even possible.
Nice try, FBI.
There’s a teacher at my kid’s school that I fucked multiple times a few years before I got married. She was married at the time, though I didn’t know it.
I have pictures, and videos. Not just ones with me, she kept such things with other lovers as well. She showed them to me by sending them to me. I have permission to have kept them, though I had forgotten about them until my kid started high school and I ran into her.
Now, her husband is fine with it, they’re open. He was kinda surprised when I quit having sex with her when I found out she was married (I just don’t like complications, even with mostly casual sex and minimum complications).
But if it got out at the school, or to the school board? It would be a huge problem. Our town isn’t totally backwards, but it isn’t exactly a hotbed of open minds either.
There’s no way in hell I’d ever say anything to anyone where it could be found out, and I sure as hell wouldn’t break trust and show anyone the files. But I’ve been debating erasing those files just to be sure. They’re on a drive that isn’t connected to anything, which is why I haven’t already; I’d have to dig the thing out and hook it up.
Even if her husband was OK with it, she still should have told you she was married. The fact that she didn’t would be enough to make me end it. I mean, if they have an open marriage, why avoid mentioning it?
That was my opinion as well.
She said that she didn’t think it would be a regular thing, and by the time she realized we were good enough together sexually to keep at it, she just forgot to mention it for a while.
Which, I could see that being a realistic occurrence. We didn’t exactly talk much when we would meet up.
School boards can be wildly conservative when practicing CYA.
I was dumb enough to have been fucking my neighbor for a year. If I told her school what she gets up to, she’d be gone.
For example, her and the other neighbors were partying all night. Guess who didn’t go to work today. This is a common occurrence.
