(shamelessly stolen from an imgur dump)
I’m going to take the free gravel and 7 inch teleportation. The gravel is a valuable commodity which can be sold. 7 inches is enough to get through any doorway.
The scifi book Battlefield Earth uses teleportion as a means of propulsion. The teleportation gives fighter planes a defensive and offensive advantage.
Does the teleportation create an exact copy of you and destroy who you are, or does it just move you exactly and rebuild your brain perfectly so you’re exactly the you you were before the teleport?
I would imagine it would be like Arm pumping.
I want to imagine the real world would freak the fuck out the way some objects in a game engine do when you mash them together.
I was going to squinch up real tight every time and only teleport through glass doors
7 inches is enough to get you mostly through a doorway.
Doors are about 1.5 inches thick. The average chest depth of an American male is 11.5 inches.
Teleporting yourself 7 inches forward would put a door 7 inches from your front and 3 inches from your back. You would have to only be 5.5 inches deep in order to make it entirely through the doorway without merging with the door.
It depends how exactly it works. If it’s the very front of my body moves forward 7 inches, yeah, that’s not great. I was hoping for measuring from the center or something. What happens if i overlap something, anyway? Nuclear fusion?
It wouldn’t matter what part of your body moves if your whole body retains its shape (as in, doesn’t stretch or deform in any way). If you stay the same shape, you moving 7" means the whole of you (front, middle, and back) moving 7".
If your body stretched during teleport, then you’ll probably have other problems aside of the displacement issue.
Too bad your clothes stay on the other side. I guess you can try to teleport out of county lockup too
If your clothes stay behind, then what else does?
Dirt, dust, dead skin? Oils? Gut bacteria? Dental fillings? Food you just ate? Oxygen in your lungs? Oxygen in your blood? Implants for sure, right? What about hair, or nails?
I can imagine a scenario where someone tries this ability for the first time only to wind up naked, perfectly clean-shaven, bleeding profusely from every orifice and extremity, breathless and doubled over in pain, convulsing on a pile of shit, hair and other gross, getting their back sliced open by disembodied toenails.
And do you swap places with matter at your destination or just fit your pieces around and into whatever is already there?
If you don’t swap, you could end up with air in your blood stream and bacteria and fungal spores everywhere. And a chance of nuclear fusion depending on how close atoms end up to each other. And if it can fuck with things at a nuclear level, it will also fuck with them at a chemical and structural level.
Or if you do swap, it becomes a powerful weapon where you just pop into someone’s body, putting the parts of them you overlap with where you used to be, then you just pop back out in a different spot. Bank vault door is too thick? Just teleport multiple times and you’ll get through safely as long as you can remain pretty still while going through it. If you can constantly teleport a tiny distance, you might be impervious to all attacks because stuff would get swapped before it impacts you, but that “might” is doing a lot of lifting. Though you probably also wouldn’t be able to hear sound, so you would be vulnerable when having conversations or listening to music.
Free gravel is a clear winner… If there’s no limits, you could straight up build artificial islands, you could destroy cities… It’s a legit super power. Hell, unless there’s extreme limits that make it worthless, you could do a lot.
Teleporting is tempting, and if you could use it fast enough you could fly or at least walk at insane speeds… Depending on the limits, I’d take that over gravel
But any toaster? That’s a brain computer interface right there. Even if it’s one way, and you have to do it manually and pay for power? With 30 toasters you could type anything. You could learn stenography to do it faster. Or, if you could manipulate toasters past their capabilities, you could generate infinite power or burn down entire cities
For the gravel, I assumed it meant that any place that sells gravel is forced to give it to you for free. Still really powerful, but you have to think about the logistics.
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Resell my free gravel for huge profits
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Have a great street magic trick where I ask the spectator to empty a single container out of many with my back turned, but I can always pick out which one
I’ll be Cris Angel, Gravel King
Redmond and blutarch are gonna be SEETHING when I collapse the gravel industry
Why is everyone choosing whatever pill(s) they want to and describing what they’d do with it?
The instructions explicitly say you can only pick 2. Everyone gets gravel. Smh.
2 and 3 easy.
Free gravel for life. So I have an endless supply of product I can sell for profit? Yes please.
And I see no time-limit on the teleportation. 7 inches at a time. Sure. But what stops me from instantly teleporting another 7 inches? And who says I can only do it horizontally. Pretty much giving me the ability to fly here. I’ll take it.
Options 2 and 3.
Free gravel, assuming that means it just sort of appears where I want it in as much volume as i want, means I can simply create a massive stockpile of it in a very convenient location for construction projects and sell it by the yard for literally free money. Or sell it directly and conjure it up right where the foreman wants it.
Teleporting 7 inches is enough to pass through most doors which are less than 2" thick. That is infinitely more useful than you think it is…
The teleport one if it has no cool down could be used to fly, just keep using it
If it stops velocity it would also be useful for dropping long distances without dying. A little like Mario doing a butt-stomp just before he hits the ground in Mario 64.
Could just also use it to travel any speed too if it stops velocity
You could put on an astronauts suit and warp across space
Doors may not be that thick, but you’re thicker than 7 inches even if you’re skinny. So you’d end up with part of your back inside the door.
But then you haven’t travelled 7 inches. If you want to measure how far someone has travelled, you measure the distance from a body part in one position to the same body part in the second position. If you measure from the back of the foot in one position why would you measure to the front of the foot in the other position?
Ammm, that proves that you’ll likely end up in the door. If you stand facing the door and measure 7 inches from the back of the foot towards the door, you likely won’t pass the door.
If a door is 2 inches thick and thickest part of your body is the length of your foot in inches, let’s say 11 inches which Google tells me is a reasonable length for a man’s foot, then to travel far enough into the direction of the door so that the back of your foot ends up on the other side of the door, you’d need to travel 11+2 inches.
Depends on how it’s measured. I was supposing a position at the center of your mass being used, but there are no guidelines to go by. Guess you just have to take the pill and see how it works! Personally, I’d pick something else unless I had a way to verify how it worked beforehand.
As long as you maintain a personal diameter of <5 inches. If not, some door will trim it for you.
Cath here is that if you teleport accidentally into an object that object becomes a part of you.
You can do this already without the pill, you are just limited to objects that are somewhat sharp.
Not just doors. Many walls are thinner than that. Any window or glass wall, even reinforced bulletproof ones, immediately become an entrance and exit. You could presumably walk into Fort Knox, grab a few bars of gold and walk back out. If you’re arrested, no jail could hold you.
You could easily be the most famous magician alive, doing impossible escapes from sealed boxes, or disappearing by teleporting 7 inches into a hollow but completely sealed object.
