In a new book, the extremist Republican congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene claims no Democrats stayed in the House chamber on January 6 to help defend it against rioters sent by Donald Trump to block the certification of Joe Biden’s election win – a claim one Democrat who did stay labeled “patently false”.

107 points

Why didn’t Greene walk out there to ask those people to leave? After all, if they were just patriotic Republican tourists, then they would have listened to her, right?

Oh, what’s that? They were violent insurrectionists and she was hiding from them too? But she somehow thinks that the Democrats should have yelled “Democratic Avengers Assemble” and charged out there? (And now I’m picturing Bernie wielding Thor’s hammer.)

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24 points
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No, you see they were being evacuated to get away from FBI plants that were leading the assault, not the patriotic protestors who were entrapped when they were lured into the building. The dems obviously knew they weren’t in any real danger, but their natural cowardice forced them to panic, put on masks, and retreat. It’s only thanks to heroic, gun toting warriors of the Republican caucus that the weaponized justice department wasn’t able to completely take over.

And then afterwards Greene met with Trump, and asked him if that spray tan goes all the way down. And he was like, “oh Marjorie, you’re so hot, and white and American, and your forehead is just the right size.” And then he hulk flexed and his rippling orange muscles ripped through his clothes as easily as Venezuelans rip through electronic voting records. She walked over looked into his eyes as he placed his hands on her quivering shoulders, and gently pushed her to her knees wear a woman belongs.


OK, that’s enough ghost written self insert fan fiction. I’m gonna take a shower and try not to vomit.

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2 points
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Deleted by creator
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1 point

Needs more yaoi to really kick this fanfic to the next level.

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19 points

He’s worthy!

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16 points

If I yell “Democratic Avengers Assemble,” can we eliminate my student debt and prosecute all these CEOs for price fixing?

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3 points

WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE POOR, POOR CEOs? Also someone needs to punish those selfish students who think that they have a right to their money instead of whichever monopolist picked them as victims!

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1 point

I resemble this remark! It was wrong of me to go back to school, and I should be punished.

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61 points
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So, she’s saying it was a dangerous mob now? I thought they were just tourists and no threat at all??

edit =

https://www.msnbc.com/american-voices/watch/rep-marjorie-taylor-greene-claims-january-6-was-not-an-insurrection-166843973581

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54 points

It’s Schrödinger’s mob… It collapses into whatever benefits you most at the moment you’re talking about it.

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14 points

That’s the Copenhagen interpretation.

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5 points

TIL

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52 points

Yeah, we all remember Josh Hawley courageously staying like a real patriot.

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43 points

Brave Sir Hawley ran away. Bravely ran away, away! When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled.

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35 points

They failed to defend us… from ourselves!

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7 points

The audacity!

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27 points

Congress-cromagnon Marjorie Tapeworm Greene needs to shut the fuck up.

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6 points

Is this comment super amazing or am I just too high

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8 points

Probably both.

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