Found out we’re doing a mandatory active-shooter training at work. It’ll be “non interactive” which I guess means no fake guns or practice takedowns or whatever they do to scare people. At least one of my coworkers has already expressed adamant opposition to this, so I have at least one ally. I’d be more opposed if I were going to have fake guns pointed at me, but if it’s just sitting in a room listening to someone talk, I don’t mind being paid to listen to their bullshit. Anyway, beyond what I’ve said, I don’t know much about these trainings, so what are some funny ways I could derail it? Don’t hold back
“Will the company cover all medical costs if we’re shot during our normal work day?”
This is truly heinous! What absolute s c u m.
I don’t know how to do special emojis but just imagine one here that communicates ‘Jesus fucking Christ what the actual fuck’.
ask them what to do when the cops refuse to put themselves at risk
ask them how to tell a roided up terrified cop you’re not the shooter without being shot
ask them how much the active shooter training course cost the district, then ask them how much improving access control (an actually useful preventative measure) would cost and if it were considered as an alternative
improving access control
They still managed to screw this up. The people at my job made it so the warehouse employees are locked in what amounts to a kill box. They made this change after a former warehouse employee made death threats. When pointed out that warehouse employees could not egress to the main office they did not fix it and said it would take too much money.
ask if healthcare coverage at work covers injury from shooting, and then break it down by shooting type: drive by? targetted? mass? police involved? coworker? stranger? manager? go through all the scenarios “what if i was shot while technically off the clock but on work property because i was coming back from my break”
Bring your lawyer. Bring your union lawyer. Bring someone who isn’t a lawyer but have them dress like a lawyer and take notes and unless someone specifically asks “Are you a lawyer” just say vague things like "I"m here on behalf of Rashav3ak
“will the company cover funeral expenses?”
“has this ever been effective?”
“will you be issuing us rifles?”
“can the company buy us some plate carriers?”
“am i a soldier now? i don’t want to be a soldier :(”
“Has this method, as disseminated by this company, ever been tested in a real incident?”
If so: “How did that go? Can you substantiate that it actually helped things?”
If not: “What reason does someone have to believe this will help? Is there any sort of real empirical backing or are you profiteering off of HR agendas and fearmongering? Do you accept any sort of liability if your method fails to help or even makes things worse? [Obviously not, so] Why should any of us have confidence in this to preserve our lives when you don’t even have the confidence in it yourself to accept that liability? Is there any observable difference between your presentation and that of a reasonably competent snakeoil salesman?”
I’m saving this, it can be used for a wide variety of things with some changes
