It’s fucked up how perfect this satire is. I honestly immediately believed it without question, which is a terrible sign.
We’ve reached some kind of milestone where satire and reality have converged to a single line. Also, the cover photo of a bunch of smiling professionals is the real chef’s kiss.
“You hear this nonsense such as, ‘people don’t want to work anymore,’” said Schweitzer while puffing on his pipe. “Can you blame them? When boomers were young, they could pay for college flipping burgers, buy a house on a single salary, and retire with a pension. Now people can’t afford to even rent. The average American is being crushed under a debt burden with no prospect of relief. Our political system is breaking down, and we’re headed toward climate disaster. It’s only natural for people to be walking around secretly wishing a piano would fall on them.”
Wtf I thought this was supposed to be a satire article.
Ever notice that the only people who relentlessly seek out immortality are the absurdly wealthy who already live a life of the entire world being at their beck and call for every whim?
The rest of us get tired of licking the shoe leather and are all like, “It’s my time? Phew! Finally!”
The satirical part is that a major news org would say this out loud.
