126 points

My home is equipped with Thomas Edison‘s electric lamps. I can write with my quill all hours of the night without getting any soot on my walls.

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22 points

Personally, I’ve always been partial to Nikola Tesla’s alternating current.

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14 points

Did you not see Mister Edison’s demonstration of how dangerous that is? It killed that beast from the dark continent dead! Surely 200 years from now our descendants will laugh at us for ever giving Tesla the time of day for his proposterous schemes.

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5 points

🎶A great big beautiful tomorrow…🎶

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18 points

Oh, don’t get me started on my wax cylinders. Those are great for powering through late night sessions.

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60 points

Poorly.

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47 points

Accumulate a massive sleep debt, crash when I can’t go anymore. This will repeat until I have a heart attack or aneurysm yelling at yet another day walker that can’t drive for shit. Otherwise, everything is peachy.

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7 points

This and caffeine

Wife thinks I’m being lazy bc I crash and don’t help with baby on weekend mornings … I call her lazy when she falls asleep after I put the toddler to bed on weekdays.

We have a happy marriage.

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40 points

That’s the neat part. I don’t

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35 points

Work 3rd shift, sleep until 5pm, get accused of vampirism.

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Hey, uh, is this just a hair or does my mirror have a crack in it?

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