141 points

Plaintiff are seeking up to $43m in damages in defamation case and Giuliani’s lawyer tells court it would ‘be the end’ of him if he loses

So the lawyer is saying the justice system is working as intended?

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69 points

I see this as an absolute win

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69 points

Me too, and I love the “if you punish my client, it will be bad for him” argument. That’s clearly the sign of a good lawyer.

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28 points

It’s the best argument he’s got, and can you blame him? There isn’t a lawyer alive who could win this for old ink scalp. His only hope is a stacked court.

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21 points

This should be taught in law school in Trial Law 101: best defense

“Your honor, this verdict is horrible for my client. Move for a mistrial.”

“Ah good point, didn’t think of that. Wouldn’t want to inconvience this man. Granted”

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71 points

The dildo of consequences is approaching rapidly, and he’s fresh out of lube.

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32 points
*

gotta be careful. even a back-pat can kill him, you know.

(also… be extra mindful of safe sex. fucking this guy is how you catch all the STDs… and some new and interesting ones.)

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13 points

Only his family members have to worry about STDs from him.

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3 points
*
Deleted by creator
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12 points

It’s at best an analogy.

(get it? analogy?)

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1 point

Yeah it’s a gross one that people find hilarious

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1 point

Yeah the joke isn’t funny to me either. Rape is not funny at all

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2 points

TDOC. FTW!

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65 points

Four Seasons Total Landscaping

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24 points

He was just tucking his shirt in.

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20 points

Still the funniest press conference in world history.

And it was incredible before Giuliani found out live that the election was called.

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61 points
*

Former Time Person of the Year, America’s Mayor, and someone who once stood a realistic chance of becoming president.

What a fall from grace.

If only he’d retired at 65.

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51 points

Makes you realize, like Trump, that all of those accomplishments were the result of his PR team and the mainstream media’s propaganda machine — he succeeded in spite of his own stupidity and incompetence.

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36 points

A lot of it also had to do with being mayor of NY when 9/11 happened.

Before 9/11, he wasn’t that popular of a mayor.

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15 points

Or even after. A lot of the blame for 9/11 was layed at his feet for putting a major communications center in the towers after it had already been attacked once in the 90s.

https://www.publishersweekly.com/9780060536602

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5 points

He really wasn’t that popular not long after 9/11 either. The leftys in NYC always hated his guts and never bought the media lies.

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20 points

Rudy had one of the longest lucky streaks in human history. He won the NYC Mayor’s race because he was the Federal prosecutor who took down Donald Manes, a big Queens County Democratic boss. He got plenty of press coverage, but the truth was that the actual story was broken by Jimmy Breslin. Crime rates were already going down across the country when he became NY mayor, his boasts of beign a great crime fighter don’t hold up. Then he became ‘America’s Mayor.’ He made it to third on three errors but thought he hit a triple.

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6 points

He made it to third on three errors but thought he hit a triple.

That’s a great line.

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3 points

Was that takedown really luck? or something else. I seem to recall something about the Russian Mafia coming into their own sometime after this.

https://www.newsweek.com/giuliani-mysterious-ties-russia-former-soviet-union-decades-1215349

E.g.,

“One of Giuliani’s earliest associations was with Semyon ‘Sam’ Kislin, who donated money to both his 1993 and 1997 campaigns [for mayor] and was appointed by Giuliani to serve on the New York City Mayor’s Council of Economic Advisors,” Olga Lautman, an investigative reporter who spent three years tracking ties between the Russian mafia and Trump’s associates, told Newsweek.

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2 points
58 points
*

Good time for Giuliani to find those bootstraps to pull himself up. Maybe cut back on the avocado toast and Netflix. If he has a phone on him, means he’s won’t be poor and bankrupt, just lazy.

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