I’ve got a new job that I didn’t realize tested until after they gave me the offer (legal state), now I’m one week sober and drinking/sweating like a monster, but I’m not sure it’ll work in the one week I’ve got left before the start date.

Lots of websites suggest various detox drinks, but there’s often a profit incentive for them to say that.

I’m not afraid to spend money, I just want this to be over with. Anyone know of any drinks or strategies that worked for them?

4 points
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Are you certain they care about weed? Maybe they’re only looking for narcotics or meth. Especially since you’re in a legal state.

Ask them to delay the test for two weeks after your hire. That way they don’t waste the money testing when you’ll know you’ll fail for weed. Be upfront about it. Tell them that you quit as soon as you were hired and that weed isn’t a big deal to you. You just smoked it with friends once in a while.

Not every company is a total asshole about weed. In the end they are real humans. They already hired you, and don’t want to waste that time doing so. As long as you don’t make them waste money on a test, they’ll probably be happy you could test clean two weeks later.

Maybe I’m too optimistic.

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1 point

This is a great approach, especially if it is a career position and not a loose part time job type thing. You could also use the whole “you were at a concert” excuse and ask for an extension.

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3 points

You might try just getting a medical card, from my understanding at that point whether they test or not it doesn’t matter because it’s being “prescribed” by a doctor and now falls under a HIPAA thing.

I AM NOT AN EXPERT AND HAVE A BASIC UNDERSTANDING OF THIS, DYOR

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