It’s because denial is part of being an alcoholic. The same goes with being called a liar.
Except when it’s not. I so much hate this rhetoric. You know what? You can freely think that I am one, and I genuinely think I’m not. If you think that I am one, that’s your problem, not mine. That’s why OP’s question is so hard to answer. Because everybody is just parroting this rhetoric.
And “you are clearly an alcoholic” comments in 3, 2, 1…
You can freely think that I am one, and I genuinely think I’m not. If you think that I am one, that’s your problem, not mine.
I mean that’s exactly the issue lol. You might not be an alcoholic, but if you were there’s a solid chance you’d deny that fact.There is a good reason why parts of the 12 step program involve admitting and recognizing that there is a problem, and it’s not limited to alcoholism but substance abuse in general.
A lot of people who genuinely need help refuses to see or admit that they do.
If someone has problem x but doesn’t want others to know about it, how would they behave?
If someone didn’t have problem x and didn’t want others to think they did, how would they behave?
And most importantly, how would you differentiate between the two cases? Don’t just stop after the first question.
Only acoholics actually need to try to convince others that they aren’t alcoholics. Nobody goes up to a person on the street to start aggressively asking if they have a drinking problem.
Any serious questions about how alcohol is affecting your life will quickly demonstrate whether it is is or isn’t a problem, without you ever saying that you don’t have a drinking problem.
The last time i got drunk was two months ago. The time before that was back in January.
I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down, no problem!
I honestly don’t really see the appeal of alcohol. Water on top. Where my hydro homies at?
Unless you’re a Muslim 👑
Can I try to gently press that a little?
I would feel awful if I found out I had been enabling someone’s alcoholism, especially if they only allowed it because they trusted me and I offered them drinks. I have ADHD and autism, so I understand making yourself hard and fast rules to avoid having to make your own self control (I’m not saying that’s definitely what you’re doing).
Could you perhaps try gradually increasing the rules one by one so that in the end there’s basically no scenario in which you drink? I’m talking: a trusted person offers it to you; it’s a weekend; it’s nice weather out; your whole house is clean; you’ve got extra cash; you ate healthy that day; you are already in a good mood; your beloved (hopefully incapable, for this situation) sports team has won; you talked to two relatives that day, etc. I’m not a therapist, but that works for me. The problem is when I mess up- my rules are great for keeping me out of trouble, but they make me spiral if/when I do break them. You might have to figure out a combination of zero tolerance for “mistakes” and allowing yourself to make actual mistakes without spiraling.
Yeah I’m going to have to agree. I’m an alcoholic myself and this is a problematic way of living with it. Moderation seldom works for alcoholics as it is and by putting your choice to drink on someone else’s offerings seems to just be a way to escape any blame should it end in full relapse.
Everybody’s journey is different though so I’m not going to judge. But at no point was I able to stop drinking until I straight stopped drinking. As they say “one drink is too much and a hundred isn’t enough.”
You may be surprised at the spectrum of human experience. Among those for whom drinking becomes a problem at some point in their life, a substantial majority are actually able to moderate or regulate their drinking, either on their own or with limited support. There are a subset of problem drinkers who absolutely cannot do this though, and those for whom a single drink can send them spiralling.
I’m not saying what that other guy is doing is smart, but like you said, everybody’s journey is different
