189 points

A literal sexual demon, a monstrum incarnate, a narcotic parody of sex

Found my new Tinder bio

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28 points

Bro thought the birth of Slannesh was a real story.

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12 points

Is that an Allen Ginsberg quote?

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25 points

“Found my new Tinder bio”

– Allen Ginsburg

 

It would certainly appear so.

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11 points

i want this on a t-shirt.

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103 points

If you want to see a parody of sex, just go, Google search “soaking” and “jump humping”. Purity culture ends up in some weird places.

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76 points

jesse

what the fuck are you talking about

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28 points

I assume you were trying to reply to me.

In some parts of christian purity culture, specifically for mormons allegedly, they think it’s a big no no to have sex before marriage. They’ve come up with loopholes to avoid actually having sex but come as close to it as possible. Soaking is when you penetrate someone and just let it sit there with no movement. Allegedly on the BYU college campus, it is popular to go “soaking” while a friend of yours jumps on the bed nearby you to create the sensation of motion, this act is called “jump humping”.

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28 points

I am unfortunately already cursed with the knowledge of that concept.

What do you think their plans are when they get to heaven? Do they think god will be chill with premarital sex due to a technicality? The ridiculous hubris of believing you can fucking debate a deity and win.

Also, I was doing a breaking bad pseudo-reference. Different jesse

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17 points

Yeah, whooshed for sure.

Frankly, I have no idea what the majority of modern American Evangelical style christians are going to do when and if they end up in front of their deity, because everything I’ve read and studied is pretty contrary to most of the modern Christian Political talking points. Jesus was very against the types of people christians today have become, Jesus certainly wouldn’t have advocated for taking over Rome to become the new oppressors. These same folks believe the book of revelations is going to happen but they can’t fathom being a part of the body of the great whore of babylon.

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21 points
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Okay so I grew up, immersed, in Christian purity culture…

Soaking is tantric, but the friend jumping?! These Christians actually make themselves way hornier than the average person… I remember my first Christian gf thought it was a sin to be made to cum, so she would just have me edge her for like hours at a time until she spontaneously orgasmed with no stimulation. Was actually hot af and some of this stuff I carried on to more normal relationships.

Christian girls also hated the idea of me masturbating after they got me aroused so they would weirdly do whatever it took to get me off, as long as it wasn’t PIV it was basically fair game. I got used to these really weird/kinky workarounds they’d come up with and it probably made me a deviant. Once at Jesus Camp a girl wanted me to finger her under the blankets at campfire and she came while a dude was crying at the mic giving his emotional testimony. So many fucked up stories like this.

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13 points

It’s a breaking bad reference/meme

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1 point

Great explanation for anyone who doesn’t know, but today is your day to learn something too!

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/jesse-what-the-fuck-are-you-talking-about

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8 points
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The public projections of a guy who sucks dick to feed his private addictions.

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60 points

Does anybody know where these literal sexual demons are?
Because I want to avoid those places extra hard.

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22 points

Extra hard, eh? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more!

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46 points

That’s a whole lotta words just to say “Nobody wants to have sex with me.”

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