There was a time when I was a kid that my parents were struggling with money. It was an ongoing struggle that lasted more than a decade and they still haven’t fully recovered from to this day. Anyway, I was aware of their struggles and as soon as I was old enough at 16, I went and got a job. I made less than minimum wage and my hours were severely limited due to state laws about employment under the age of 18. So I was still going to school and making barely anything, but whatever I didn’t use, I put away in the bank. Skip ahead to when I’m 18 and I’ve saved a few thousand dollars. My parents had a few particularly rough months and didn’t know how they would pay the mortgage that month, so my mom asked me if they could borrow some. I still remember how embarrassed my mom looked while asking me and I remember thinking that I didn’t know if I would ever get that money back. But I agreed. It was a bit of an emotional ordeal, but they did pay me back eventually and my parents still have their house. So all in all it worked out for the best.
Had a friend borrow a large sum of money from me. Yes, I did it. Yes, I was repaid on time.
$20k, for car debt. No.
Woof. That doesn’t just happen overnight. That’s months of missed payments that resorted in pay it all now or we’re taking it. Good on you for saying no, you’d never see that money again
Good on you for saying no, you’d never see that money again
They literally watched that person agree to pay that amount to somebody else and fail to do it despite legal and financial consequences. Only a fool would see that and then entire into the exact same situation, but without any sort of protection like the contract that the previous lender had. You are not speculating, you are merely stating absolute fact.
My dear friend asked me to loan him money for a car. I can’t do it.
I co-signed on his car loan, so he used my credit but couldn’t shirk the payments or he’d be ruined further too. Worked out well.
My parents. Asked me to upend my job and life, move halfway across the country to be closer to them as they approached their elder years so I could help them out as their health is slowly declining. They’ve told me all my life they just don’t want to go to a nursing home when they got older.
So yeah, I did it. Me and my parents have issues for sure, but ultimately I love them and they always have done right by me.
I had to adjust a bit, but I work from home and am single with no kids of my own, so it wasn’t as difficult as it is for some people I’m sure. But yeah, I have never done as much for any other family member or friend, but if I were given the choice again, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.
Why couldn’t they move close to you? You had a job and life settled. They are retired and therefore far more flexible in that aspect.
There might be some factors you didn’t share of course. If I was asked the same I would help but it’s my parents who would have to move. If they are not willing then clearly that help is not needed so badly to justify such a drastic change in my life.
Yeah, I understand what you mean. I lived in one of the pricier cities in the US with sky high cost of living. While my parents could afford to move there, it would be a lot more costly as far as living than where we all are currently. That and the mental/physical burden of moving at their age would be heavy for them even with hiring movers, etc.
It just worked out. My life, as of right now, is very flexible with very few responsibilities other than my job, so it was an easier decision to make than most would have given similar circumstances and choices.
I will admit I miss my friends though. I keep up via social media and the occassional jitsi meet/zoom call, text message, etc, but I do miss getting together for coffee or beer from time to time.
Anyways, thanks for asking. I hope that sheds a bit more light on it.
500 bucks. Yes, I shouldn’t have. (It’s a big sum for me)
